May 12, 2010

today she's five

Please forgive the lack of posting. Oh my goodness gracious--the last few days have been completely insane.

We left Kharkiv on the train yesterday with Hailee and Harper's passports in hand. Their ticket out of the country. Oh happy day. Today we spent the day in Kiev getting their visas for entry into the U.S. Tonight we're exhausted! We got very little sleep after arriving so late last night. It has to be early to bed and early to rise (2:30 a.m.) for our flight home tomorrow. We can hardly wait to be reunited with our family at home.

The days have been long. Hailee continues to struggle to adjust. I would love to tell all of you that you were right in saying that Hailee was smiling in the last pics I posted, but she's not. She grimaces in the sun, and actually winges.  We doubt if she's EVER been outdoors in the five years of her life. There are times when we can get her to smile for us when we play with her, but it is never spontaneous. It is something that will come with time, we know.

We are so thankful for the gift that this precious little girl is. I have to keep things honest and real here on my blog--I cannot paint some fabulous picture of life being dandy all the time, because it just isn't that way. That's not reality. So, I'll continue to share our triumphs, our joys, our sweet successes, and our hard times. The last few days would definitely fit into the latter category. It has not been easy with Hailee having such a hard time. She cries a lot and is easily traumatized. Anthony and I have had a pretty challenging time.

Our hearts break for her. It is hard to have a child struggle so painfully. This little girl knows nothing but the life inside a crib. Those four walls were her security. It is extremely traumatic for her to be out in the real world. The noise, the sights (including seeing masses of people) and the constant hustle and bustle are hard for her. Every time we move into a new environment, she has many meltdowns and it is almost impossible to console her. The stimulation is just too much. She hardly eats a thing, drinking is a problem, and she has had very little sleep in the last six days. All signs that she is struggling.

On Monday we ended up at a clinic, then, when they couldn't help her, we immediately took her to a children's hospital. We have been noticing that she seems to have digestive issues. It sounds like severe reflux. She makes constant gulping sounds--like she is trying with all of her little heart to swallow something, and it is awfully painful.  When she does that, she bows her head, grimaces, and her eyes roll to the side. The doctor confirmed our suspicion--there is something major going on in our little one's tummy. Two enemas later and her insides were cleaned out. Unfortunately we have started to notice that things are getting bad once again. Her tummy is rock hard. It is going to be one of the first things we get checked out. This is a problem Hailee has lived with for years and years, and no one has ever cared enough to help her by getting to the root of it.

While at the hospital, they were asking some questions about her medical history, most of which we know nothing about. Her medical record is just a few lines long. We told them the name of the drug the orphanage had her on. They were horrified! Three doctors gathered in the tiny room and spoke in seriously fast Russian. We could tell that they were not happy. It seems that this drug, an anti-psychotic, is not suitable for children. And, they said, the first major side effect on the list is stomach issues.  But then again, why in the world should the orphanage care about side effects?  The only purpose of the drug was to make her sleep all day long.  When Anthony went back to the orphanage, the facilitator told the head doctor what the other doctors said, and he just shrugged and said, "Maybe, but it also could be that her new parents started a new diet."  Which, by the way, we haven't.

The reality of Hailee's life is that she ended up in the wrong room.  There must be a point in an orphan's life when they are either grouped with 'healthy' children, or are sentenced to life it that room--the one for children with severe needs.  To end up in that room is a death sentence, friends.  Literally.  There is nothing worth living for.  Physical touch is almost non-existent.  The only time the kids are touched is when they are changed or fed. And the five kids in there have only worn pajamas their entire life--boys sometimes wear pink, girls sometimes wear blue.  Who's going to see if the color's right, anyway?  They never leave their 4' x 2' crib, which is in a 10' x 13' room, with six cribs squashed together.

The only life they know is behind the bars of a crib.  In all my visiting, I have seen things happen in that room that my heart will never fully comprehend.  I have seen more than I ever wanted to see.  But, for some reason, the Lord needed me to see it with my own two eyes.  Why? I have no idea.

After doing some research we are convinced that Hailee is suffering from institutional autism. No doubt about it. It is very common for children who have experienced all of what Hailee has. They display many of the characteristics of clinical autism.  She deliberately hurts herself to numb the emotional pain, to distract herself through negative stimulation (which is better than none!).  She scratches behind her ears until they are raw, infected, and bleeding.  She makes constant grunting and groaning sounds.  She sits with her legs at a V and hands on her knees and rocks herself to comfort.  She cannot make eye contact.  She twitches and grinds her teeth so badly that there are merely stumps left in her mouth. She bangs her head on anything and everything until it hurts.  She hits herself all the time.

We keep a little hat on Hailee to prevent her from scratching the back of her ears.

It does not surprise us that Hailee is the way she is. How could she possibly be any other way after all that she has endured in her five years? How could she possibly be able to function normally after such neglect?

Still, in light of all of we CELEBRATE! It is sweet Hailee's fifth birthday. Today we rejoice that it is finished. Her old life is gone, and her new life has begun. Today we praise God that her life has been saved. Weighing only fifteen and a half pounds, there is absolutely no way that she would have continued to survive in an orphanage. No way! Hailee is the size of an infant. Truth be told, we are very surprised that she even survived this long in that place.

Tonight we are so thankful that the Father spared her life.  We know that the weeks and months ahead are not going to be easy.  We have always known that, even before we met Hailee in person.  But in this little angel we truly do see a diamond in the rough.  We know that she is going to learn and grow.  We know that she is going to learn to feel safe with us.  It is just going to take lots and lots of time, prayer, patience, and love.  Praise God that we have a lifetime to show her what it means to be loved and treasured.  We're in no rush.  Unlike a broken toy, a broken child cannot be mended in a day, as so many of you who have been in our shoes know. It takes a very long time.


Happy birthday, sweet Hailee...your road toward healing has begun.  What a priviledge it is to journey it with you, angel girl.  Our angel girl.  Our Lord's angel girl.


soontobemomof9 said...

She's beautiful adeye!!! Happy birthday sweet Hailee! Out of the ashes, beauty will rise!

Anonymous said...

Oh! I cannot speak a word of my own to tell you how much I ache with you for Hailee's trials and sufferings, but I am reminded of the Bible verse:
A bruised reed He will not break,
And a dimly burning wick He will not extinguish;
He will faithfully bring forth justice. -- Isaiah 42:3
May our compassionate and most merciful Father bring forth justice in that little angel's life, for His glory and her blessing and healing! Loving you and missing you and cannot wait to have you come home, dear ones.

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, dearest Hailee! This is just the beginning of your finally learning what HAPPY looks like, Little One! God bless you, Sweet Pea.

Kate said...

Happy birthday, beautiful, precious, sweet and much-loved Hailee!!!!

Thank you, God, for rescuing this sweet angel girl from the environment she was in and placing her in the gentle, loving arms of Adeye & Anthony!

Looking Up said...

Happy Birthday to sweet Hailee. Thank God that she is finally free! I'm sure that it will be a long road until Hailee is completely healed. She has just endured far too much suffering in her young life for her pain to be erased instantly. To be imprisoned & drugged like that for FIVE YEARS, well the fact that she has survived is proof that God has a plan for this little one!!!! She is obviously a fighter. God bless you & your family as you continue this journey. I'm glad that you are willing to share it with the rest of us. Keeping you in my prayers!

Pam said...

Please know that I am praying for Hailee and for you and your husband that you continue to have the strength and the wisdom to help her. I have followed your blog for a while now. I have been waiting to hear how she is doing. I have a fourteen year old with DS. It breaks my heart to hear of Hailee's suffering. I will pray with my family tonight and every night that she will feel God's love and His security. I pray that He continues to bless you on this amazing journey.
mom to Elijah

Kim K. said...

It just breaks my heart to read of Hailee's past five years. May God continue to give you the strength to help your sweet little girl.

Milena said...

You know the first detail that struck me in this post? That the doctors were NOT happy about the drug Hailee had been given! They could have said something like "does it matter - she has ds" - but they didn't - they were unhappy. They cared about Hailee and her health. Isn't that great?

That said, I'm very very sorry for Hailee and her struggling. It must be so hard for you not to be able to console her. You are perfectly right that it is not strange at all that she has gotten institutional autism since she has been treated the way she has. Poor sweet girl. It IS a miracle that she is still alive. God has great plans for her! At least, that kind of autism can heal, with loads and loads of time and love, can it not? I will hope and pray it does.

Finally, Happy Birthday, Hailee! May your days to come all be filled with love and understanding, so far away from your days that have passed.

And Harper is in my prayers too, although her transition is much easier (I believe).

You are so richly blessed!

Angie said...

Happy 5th Birthday, sweet Hailee. Someday you will understand the love you have in your family and the love you have from your heavenly Father. You are so loved! Thank you, Adeye, for sharing so much. I have a feeling that once you're home, there will be some tough posts about what you saw and heard. I suppose, on one hand, Hailee's response right now means she actually realizes the change. It's not easy for any of you, but perhaps it's better than if she didn't respond to anything at all. I'm thinking of how our Laura doesn't really respond to any changes...anyone is great to hold her, anytime, anywhere. Hailee seems to "get it" that there is so much different. Praying for you all as you travel home and begin your new "normal."

Shonni said...

It's always heartbreaking and hard to understand how a child can be treated that way. Poor baby girl. I am so glad that your real journey is beginning now with your darlin's. Safe travel sweet friends. We are praying for you.

Stephanie @ Ralphcrew said...

Happy birthday Hailee! Oh, I think she is so beautiful. I will continue to pray for healing...physical, mental, and spiritual.

Holly said...

Praise God for you Adeye and Anthony. HIS love through you is the most beautiful thing I've seen.
Praying for you as you journey on this road. Thank you for keeping it real.
Can't wait until you are all together. At last.
He Who has called you is FAITHFUL!

Andrea said...

Oh my heart hurts..hurts for you, for her, for the other children. Praying for you all!!!

Anonymous said...

God could not have chosen better vessels through which to show Hailee his love. Be blessed today on this special occasion. We look forward to seeing you soon!
Shauna and fam

The Montieth Family said...

Dear Adeye & Anthony,
I have been faithfully following your blog for quite some time & I am ashamed that I have never posted. Perhaps because I can not find the "right" words to say. Your new daughters are just beautiful!! (As is your whole family...). You are SO LUCKY that God spoke to your hearts and that you both heard him. It takes SPECIAL parents to parent SPECIAL children and I applaud you both. :) It seems that you are no strangers to the tough obsticals of parenting children that have not had a fair start in life. I just KNOW that both girls will blossom in their own time. I want to share that we have 2 daughters born in China-the 1st was a "NSN "adoption and the 2nd was "SN" (Hep B). My youngest flourished immediately & is a little sponge and love monkey. :) My oldest has been home for over 4 yrs & is FINALLY blossoming. She has been diagnosed with Atypical Autism...but, we realize that we may NEVER figure out what is going on with her. We can only keep on loving her. :) She too rocked and banged her head for a looong time. (Among other behaviors). We (including doctors) are convinced that she was mistreated at her orphanage....if only "those people" would realize what that type of treatment can do to a baby/child. I am praying for all of you. I have fallen in love with your family from afar & am inspired to adopt again. (Waiting for DH's heart to change...LOL).
-MM in KS

Mark and Melanie said...

Happy birthday to Hailee - a beautiful, precious gift from God! My heart aches at the difficulty as she experiences a world she has never known. However, it rejoices to look at the pictures you posted today. There is already a difference in this sweet treasure - a change from the "before" pictures - I am so thrilled at the opportunity to follow your journey and excited to see what the future holds for Hailee and Harper. Just think how much the angels and our heavenly Father must be celebrating as well!

Anonymous said...

I am at work and sitting here with tears running down my cheeks. My heart is breaking for all that Hailee has had to endure and for all the little ones still there. She is where she needs to be now, with a family who will love her and get her the medical help she needs to heal and reach the potential that is her right.

Susan and Kate
Riverview FL

SandJ said...

Happy 5th Birthday precious Hailee,
and may you come to recognise and respond to the LOVE of your earthly parents in the days ahead xxx

Talley Images said...

Happy 5th Birthday, sweet girl.

Andrea said...

I just found your blog yesterday through another adoption blog, and I thank the Lord that there are people out there like you, who are willing and wanting to adopt these precious angels who, without you, would live their lives in orphanages and institutions. When I started reading the posts about you getting to the Ukraine and seeing the pictures of Hailee and Harper, I couldn't believe how small Hailee is. But then again, I could. I lived in China for 2 years, and while I was there, I had the rare opportunity to volunteer in an orphanage. And I saw children so similar to Hailee, deemed "special needs" when all they really needed was love and a bit of medical care. They lived their lives in cribs, when, if only someone would love them and get them the medical care they need, they would thrive. One little boy was on the brink of death when we last saw him. I don't know what he had, but I believe he had cerebral palsy and probably a heart problem. I want to say he was 8 years old, and probably only a bit bigger than Hailee. Sadly, he wasn't there when we went back the next week. It pains me to think that all he needed was someone like you and your husband to love him.

Thank you for what you are doing.

Janine Claire Robinson said...

Thinking about you so much my friend as you guys travel home. Praying with all my heart for Hailee and for you guys for the strength, wisdom, discernment and favor as you negotiate this season of her adjusting. Happy birthday Hailee ... you are in our hearts forever precious girl! Loved by so many! One day you will know just how many of us love and treasure you. You are a child of such immeasurable value and worth - a priceless treasure ... a daughter of the King. Love from Jan, Brett and our girls

Debbie said...

Happy Birthday Precious Hailee! You are all in our prayers as you journey home! Love & Hugs

Chris and Celeste said...

Thank you for the honest true, so sad really how these precious human beings are treated. I am so glad you had the faith and courage to get her out of there. Happy Birthday sweet angel!

Tesseraemum said...

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!
I can't wait to see her blossom!

Marie-Claude said...

Hailee is strong,

Living in that environement for 5 years, in ''that'' room, takes a strong child. With the your love, your family's love, the best medical care and prayers, she will no doubt thrive, but as you say it will take time. Her dealing with the constant new noises, sights and sounds is that alone a big challenge. We will keep you in our prayers, always. Have a great reunion with your beautiful children back home.


Karien Prinlsoo said...

Happy birthday sweet Hailee. I pray that in time, Bod's true beauty will shine through her.
Adeye, I can see the wisdom that God gives you with your children, so just to encourage you...
Today I just want to tell you, that if there was nothing else that I learn from you, I can see and feel
God's love shine through you and in every word you say(write)
May God be with you and protect you on your journey back
Love from Pretoria

Linnea said...

Happy Happy Birthday Hailee!

Many blessings to you and your family.

Lisa said...

Happy Birthday, Sweet Hailee. You finally have a family to love you and protect you and enjoy you...

Adeye and Anthony, I know you must be tired. Our family has been following your journey to the girls. It is hard to see the challenges you have faced and continue to face. At the same time, we are certain they were meant to be yours and vice versa.

Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers~

Laura said...

Oh my goodness.
Happy Birthday, sweet Hailee. Really. a HAPPY birthday to you. Probably your first one with potential to be happy ever.
Thankfully, many more to come.

Adeye, I am sure you know this by now...but in case you don't...
In Children's Hospitals there are pediatricians who specialize in Down Syndrome. Ours has a DS Clinic right in the hospital. They have all the extra knowledge that our own dearly loved pediatrician hasn't thoroughly studied. So they can be a great resource and asset to your team of drs. Our DS pediatrician is wonderful at checking for and scheduling all the appropriate tests and screenings for each thing that has to be checked both initially and periodically. They literally take all the work out of it for me! They make the appts and let me know when/where to show up. It is great! I would highly recommend availing yourself of this valuable help for both girls.

(The reason I am mentioning this is because your comments about Hailee's difficulty drinking made me think of our Mylie and her difficulty with thin liquids. She has swallow studies done there and they have her on thickened liquids until she can safely and successfully swallow thin liquids without aspirating.)

I am so thankful for your rescuing these girls and am praying for you all. For physical strength. For wisdom. For patience. For emotional endurance. For God's supernatural grace to flow so abundantly into your lives that you are unmistakably aware that you are literally being carried by Him.

God bless you all as you travel. I am sure it will be especially hard for little Hailee. Please know we are praying you through these days.

Annerieke said...

Happy birthday to you sweet Hailee. The first HAPPY birthday of many more!


Nicole A. said...

I have been reading your blog for quite some time and am not sure that I have ever left a comment, but I just wanted to say thank you for the privilege of following you on your amazing journey!

The girls are beautiful! I cannot imagine the weeks you have had leading up to this point, but I am so happy that you will be on your way home soon.

And Haillee, happy birthday!! So sad that she has no clue what a birthday even is, but by this time next year, in her safe happy forever home, I bet she will surely be excited for it!

God bless you on your travels home!!

All the best,
Nicole A. in OH

Chris and Sarah said...

Happy Birthday you precious child!

Sophie said...

Sweet precious angel of God, happy happy birthday to you little Hailee. Adeye this just breaks my heart, I don't understand how these drugs are just administered to these children without any thought, it's so sad and even shameful the mindset of some people and societies. I pray for wisdom and strength for you as you face the challenges that lie ahead.

kiwicpk said...

oppps forgot:
Happy Birthday sweet Hailee
may god shine his light on you.

kiwicpk said...

Oh sweet sweet Hailee! Being a new reader I was shocked/surprised that Hailee was 5, really she is 5.

She is one very lucky little girl by the sounds of things to have you and your/her family to care for her now. Looking forward to watching these two little sweethearts grow, love, learn and enjoy life sweet ones. Always in our thoughts and prayers.
Kim in NZ

Shelley said...

That is wisdom speaking. Five years of neglect will not be overcome quickly, yet what hope there is for Hailee! I often think of how very patient God is with long it can take for me to grow in some areas...yet, looking back, I see how His Holy Spirit has transformed me, though from a day to day perspective my growth seemed to move at a crawl.
She is now safe, protected, loved.
And soon she will be HOME!

Amanda said...

Oh beautiful Hailee... you are such a treasure. You are a blessing from God, a gift of life. Like a song upon the wind, you are lovely. You are adorable, worthy of life, worthy to be loved. You are, you are, LOVED.

The Sanchez Family said...

Beautiful, strong, survivor she is and THANK GOD for you and Anthony. You WILL heal her and give her everything she needs which is unconditional love. Happy birthday sweet girl, you got the best gift in the amazing mom and dad and sibling that are going to love all over you!

Arnold family said...

I am so thankful that Hailee and Harper have a family. As you know God heals their broken hearts. Our daughter Sneha almost never left the same room for 5 1/2 years and she was in shock to go out and about. After 6 months she loves attention and going to school. The first months were hard, but rocking her when she tried to push us away really helped.

The Arnold Family

RissaRoo said...

Happy Birthday, sweet Hailee! She is a beautiful child, and it is a beautiful thing seeing her blessed with a loving family and a new start. I'll be praying for her, and for all of you!

living4him5 said...

Precious Hailee, my goodness she's a little tiny angel from heaven. PRaying for her sweet body to heal and feel some confort for a change. I can't believe they put her on that drug! It's stomach turning what those sweeties go through. Praise be to GOD Hailee is rescued!!!

Safe travels and many blessings,
Amy <><

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU for keeping it real! I so longed to hear the reality stories when we struggled the 1st 6 months home from China 12 years ago! IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO COMFORTING to know that some strange things we experienced were actually NORMAL post orphanage life! God bless you as you begin this life journey! He will see you through! Safe travels you'll be home soon!

Kristin Ferguson said...

Happy Birthday Dear, Sweet, Hailee! Those "cringes" will soon be full blown smiles once you're used to feeling safe with your new family. It may take time but we're all praying for you and your parents and we know that God will pour out his peace and comfort to your little soul until you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are LOVED and SECURE!

God bless you little one!

Love, Kristin

Anonymous said...

I am so happy for you guys. I remember not to long ago being in your shoes. Nessie, the youngest one we adopted has some major tummy issues that we still do not understand. She seems to be in a lot of pain all the time. It was the same as you described. A funny sound when she swallows, then a big gulping sound. Then she cries so hard and so loud. The past 3 weeks have been really hard for us because it just gets worse. I must say though with all of this, I would do it all over again. I am in love with our new babies, and I can not wait for you to enjoy the excitment of bringing them home to meet everyone. I wish I was there to meet them all. God Bless you guys!!

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you are being real about the struggle for Hailee. I'm wondering if there are ways to minimize sensory overload for her? I know she has been inappropriately and overly medicated, but would a mild sedative or Benadryl help her through this rough patch without hurting her further? Would it help to swaddle her, keep her in a sling, shade her eyes, maybe an infant swing, etc- ie, treat her as a very young infant with an over-reactive nervous system, at least until she adjusts better? You have a lot of people rooting for you:)

Nancy said...

Happy Birthday, precious girl! My hope is that NEXT year, you will have a glimmer of what that actually means. That NEXT year you will feel loved, and sheltered, and comforted and safe. Next year...oh, next year, Hailee, it will be so very different! Much love from

Nancy in CT

Ladyblog said...

Your post brings tears. I cannot even comprehend how your precious daughter has lived the past 5 years. I am very excited to see God perform a miracle in her life!

Anonymous said...

oh my.. I am just bawling my eyes out reading about son just turned 5 with DS and he is so annimated and loving...I can not imagine what this child's life has been..there are no words... I will be praying for her constantly.. my son has bad reflux, and he is on prevacaid, definately get her to a pediatric gastroenologist as soon as you can..I know a lot of good doctors here if you need any while you are still in Colorado... please know you all are in many peoples prayers..
Colorado Springs, CO

Kathy said...

Such a sweet little one. My heart does break to know that she has suffered so much. Our little one was also in a crib all day, no touch,no stimulation and deaf. She had institutional autism like attributes ( rocking, banging her head, rolling her eyes, looking at her hands)Most of these tings are gone and she is laughing and smiling a lot now. Love will make such a difference ! Our family is praying for you and your angels.

Rogers Camp said...

I am thanking Jesus He sent you into the lives of these little girls. I didn't realize Hailee was five...I thought she was maybe at the most two. My heart aches to think that precious little one did not have loving arms embracing her daily for the past five years of her life. I know it won't be an easy road, but I am excitedly looking forward to your journey with her and to see how she blossoms with love and proper care.

Susan A said...

I am so sorry to hear about Hailee suffering so much. Will do keep praying for her, for her to feel safe and enveloped in our Saviour's love, through your and Anthony's constant presence no matter the changing scenery and environments. Also for her body to be sustained and healed of whatever that is causing her distress. And peace and wisdom for you and Anthony to be able to know what to do, since He has brought you thus far to Hailee.

Will pray for Hailee whenever I think of her, and for guidance for you and Anthony.

Glad that she has her 5th birthday with you and not left alone in the orphanage.

Lori said...

Oh, my heart. I am so saddened by what Hailee's former orphan life has done to her. I'm so thankful that we know who her Redeemer is. But no doubt, it will be a long road ahead. Sensory issues are at an alarming level it sounds like. Poor little pumpkin.

Thank you so much for sharing the reality of this deeply difficult time with us. It is good for us to know exactly how to pray.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday to Hailee! I can only imagine how her world has been rocked...and she does not yet realize that it is in a very, very good way. I pray for your continued strength, patience, wisdom, and love to help her. I am in awe of you literally saving Hailee's life. God bless each of you.


Mountain Girl said...

Happy Birthday Hailee! Her story is heart breaking, but I am so thankful that you and Anthony have rescued her. I pray that God will bless you and Hailee and your family million fold. I also pray that you will find the services that Hailee needs and can help her - I know that your love will be some of the best medicine she will ever receive.

Goodness and Mercy Mom said...

Happy 5th birthday, Hailee!!!

Adeye, I cried throughout this update. It is just unthinkable what she has endured. My heart breaks for her . . . my heart breaks for others like her living in "rooms" like that.

In many ways, this is her first birthday. Her first birthday being loved, her first being cared for, her first being free, her first having hope. Thank you for giving her the best birthday gift of a family, perfectly wrapped with love.

Praying for strength, wisdom, and patience in the coming days, weeks and months.

Much Love,

Jodi said...

Happy Birthday sweet Hailee!

I'm so glad you have Anthony there with you now :)

Safe travels home...


Inga said...

My heart breaks for her. I am trying to understand how her little life had no value to anyone and how those people in the orphanage can go about their day and not think about those children in the "room". Knowing something is wrong and just not getting it taken care of, are they basically heartless? Does anyone mourn for these children? I was thinking today, how did I even find your website and still don't know. I do know this, that its apparent little Hailee and Harper hit the "jackpot" in parents and they are really going to flourish once you get home and get settle back in your home. I look forward to continuing to follow your journey. You are blessed!

Inga said...

My heart breaks for her. I am trying to understand how her little life had no value to anyone and how those people in the orphanage can go about their day and not think about those children in the "room". Knowing something is wrong and just not getting it taken care of, are they basically heartless? Does anyone mourn for these children? I was thinking today, how did I even find your website and still don't know. I do know this, that its apparent little Hailee and Harper hit the "jackpot" in parents and they are really going to flourish once you get home and get settle back in your home. I look forward to continuing to follow your journey. You are blessed!

Annie said...

Bless you Adeye and that sweet, sweet little angel!!! Oh my heart!!!

Jean said...

Oh My, sweet Haillee- it will be a long road, but so worth it. What a sweet dear child of God. Her past is so sad, praise the Lord that she now has a future!

Thank you for being so honest.

God Bless your journey home!

Holly said...

Aw...Happy birthday Hailee!! What a precious angel. Even so, come Lord Jesus. To think that children are living in those conditions. It's just too much to bear. Are more of them up for adoption?

trustandobey said...

Oh Adeye,
This is a heartbreaking post. I hope that when Hailee is drug free, her little system will start to straighten out on its own. Praying that the Lord will restore the years that the locusts have taken, that with each passing day you will see improvements.

trustandobey said...

Happy Birthday sweet girl!

Linnea said...

I was just wondering if Hailee had DS? The baby boy we are adopting has very similar facial features but they said no DS, maybe we will find out more tomorrow after his appointment. I was just wondering, the more I look at her the more she reminds me of him. They eyes are what look so much a like so much.

Be blessed

Nevididi said...

Happy Happy Happy Birthday Miss Hailee!

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...


See her as the perfectly, wonderfully made little princess she is and speak His healing into her heart, mind and soul. God is able and bigger than all the years of horrific neglect. God is going to use her past to bring glory to her future for His kingdom!

Trusting for perfect healing as the days and months of trust begin to take over sweet Hailee's life!

I love you and wish you all the safest journey home forever!

Happy Birthday sweet girl!

Jodee Leader said...

Happy birthday to your sweet girl! Life is going to begin at 5 for her. She is sooo blessed to have great parents like you! Hang in there!

GraceWatch said...

Extra prayers tonight for Hailee (and Harper and Adeye and Anthony)! I can only imagine how hard you must have it right now--goodness, traveling with kids normally is hard! This is exponentially harder! I can imagine that when you are home--and I hope you have some good adult support--getting her to a doctor to help the reflux and other things, she will feel better and that will help. A day at a time. I will pray to our all-powerful God for your strength and her healing.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday sweet precious Hailee. My heart just bleeds for what this precious child has been through. Thank you Lord for her rescue and for a wonderful family you have gifted her with. You are an amazing God! Now I can wipe away the tears I have cried for her pain and replace them with tears of joy, for the life she now gets to live. Love you all, wish we could meet all the new precious little ones. Love Janelle

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

Happy Birthday, sweet Hailee! You are BLESSED to have a Mommy & Daddy that love you so very much.

Praying for your travels home.

Praying for wisdom for the doctors at home.

Praying for your family, as you walk through the coming time of transition with both girls.

Hugs & Prayers,

Laurel :)

Gary and Michelle said...

Happy Birthday Hailee.

We are so excited that the whole family will be together soon. What a birthday present for Hailee and a belated mother's day gift for you Adeye :)

May the Lord continue to bless you all and give you the strength you need to continue the journey He has given you.


Anonymous said...

It is such a trigic story, she's lucky God send you on her way. I wish you more the all the best and luck in this world, you have two precious little girls who will love you with all they have.

goodluck with your trip and enjoy comming home to the rest of you family..

Mama in Uganda said...

My heart breaks for this sweet precious girl. Just yesterday I was watching my eleven little ones running around the yard laughing and I turned to my friend and said, "every child should have this opportunity, for love and laughter." Praying for a transformed heart and mind in Hailee--our Jesus is able.

Love from the North,

bytheriver said...

Hello: How tragic about what Hailee and the other children in The Room have and are going through. I am sure you are adjusting - are you carrying her in a front carrier facing you? Just thinking that is probably helping with the overstimulation and bonding. Happiness on your coming home.

Aus said...

Wow - OK - there's a big bunch in that post! We too are familiar with 'that room' - we have a name for it that perhaps we'll share once ya'll are home...regardless....we know that room!

I would clarify one thing - the smiles I was referring to were your's - the girls look darling - but the smile was all mom's!!

I had no idea that Hailee was 5, that poor dear - just Bless her heart....but there is a spark there - something kept her going this long....

and somehow I just kind of know that you guys are up to fanning that spark into a flame....

Happy Birthday dear girl - Blessings on you guys on the rest of your journey - and early 'welcome home' from us!

Fair winds and following seas on your travels -

hugs - aus and co.

J said...

It makes me so sad to hear all that she endured. She weighs less than my 4 month old daughter. We wish you a Happy Birthday sweet Hailee and a lifetime of love and happiness to come.

Joanne said...

Oh Adeye - what a sad story! Cannot believe what poor Hailee has had to endure! And how traumatised she is. Terribly sad, I cant stop crying for her! It cant be easy to witness. What a blessing that you and your family have come to rescue her. And I have no doubt in the not too distant future she will be a lot more settled being part of your loving family. Wishing you a smooth journey home (as smooth as possible!) and a happy and peaceful family reunion - for all of you! Praying hard for Hailee. Lots of love xxx

Tracey Sharp said...

Happy 5th Birthday lil Hailee!! You now have the amazing family that you have deserved all these years!! We are praying for you all and for Hailees health and wellness as I cannot even begin to imagine all that sweet lil girl has been through. May God heal her and comfort her through this adjustment.


Carrie said...

Oh Hailee God has big plans for you sweet child. May you feel his love and peace in your forever family.

God give your family strength as Hailee and Harper adjust and begin to thrive on the love you have for them that comes straight for our God and Jesus Christ.

It breaks my heart to hear what she has endured and what other children are going through.

God bless you.

Nicole said...

Adeye, Hello and GOD BLESS YOU! I am a friend of Lisa Allen and I have been following your blog for awhile. Hailee's reality was similar to our Luke's. Forgotten, neglected, case aside. He was also initially diagnosed with institutional autism. Most recently his diagnosis was changed to Intellectual Disability. My heart breaks because Luke was also in "that room". I will be praying for you all! GOD IS GOOD!

-Nicole Baker

The Wendler Family said...

Happy Birthday sweet Hailee!! You will never experience life like your last 5 years. Ever. again.
You are now part of a great family who loves you and will keep loving and caring for you no matter what. Father in Heaven has a special plan for you. I can't wait to see where you are in another 5 years!

Adeye, you are simply amazing. Thank you for showing the world that you can be the Father's hands, to do His work, and to love as He does.
I would say that I am worried for Hailee after reading this post, but I am feeling peace about the situation. I know she is in great hands. I'll keep praying for her, Harper, and the rest of your family.
Sending Love,
Melanie Wendler

Melanie said...

What a wonderful birthday present for Hailey....A forever family. I believe that she will progress dramatically when she is home and surrounded by your love and care. I am praying for you and your girls and I am so happy that they have you. My heart breaks for what precious Hailey and the ones left behind have endured. I pray that God would open our eyes and hearts to the hurting orphans.


The Thomasson's said...

I know I am a day late, but I still wanted to wish your sweet girl a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Anonymous said...

My thoughts are with you and your loved ones. I'd like to whish you all the best in helping your little girls.
Kirsty from the Netherlands

Qadoshyah said...

So sad that little Hailee has been through that much. What a miracle that she is still alive. How someone could do that kind of stuff to another human being, is beyond me.

What a blessing for Hailee to be with a family now though. I've seen the turn around a child like Hailee has done by following other family adoption blogs and it's truly amazing.

Milena said...

Praying for you as you travel home with your precious girls!

gypsy@Hebrews11:13 said...

Thank you for this. It is nice not to be alone. We adopted Mira (now 3 years old) from Ukraine last August. Many similiarities. I don't usually leave comments, no time these days, but wanted to encourage you. Here we are, nine months later, and Mira is bonding well. She laughs and smiles normally. And all that self-abuse? Nearly gone. Sometimes it rears its head, but mostly not:) Mira is still so tiny and still wants to sleep too much and still struggles with new things. And maybe she always will. But her life is good and we are blessed to have her. Can't wait until she meets her Savior and understands all He did for her!

Leah Beasley said...

What a sweet sweet picture of you guys. It looks so nice there now. When we went it was FREEZING. It was awful. We could only run from one place to another. It nice that you can sit outside and enjoy the time there. Im praying for your little ones. We went threw the same things. Our oldest one would not eat for 5 days. She stoped taking her bottle to. She will come around, she is just in shock right now!!

christy rose said...

I can not even believe that she is 5 years old!! She is beautiful though! Happy Birthday sweet Hailee! I can't wait to see how much you grow and learn and change in the next coming months and years ahead of you!!!! :)

4 boys in AZ. said...

Happy Birthday sweet Hailee!

Such precious pictures of her. Sorry to hear she is still struggling. Praying she will begin to adjust soon.


Susan said...

Happy Birthday Hailee!

Missy said...

Oh, Adeye, what a heartbreaking post!! There must be SO much that is going unsaid, yet you've said so much. What a sad, sad story this little girl has had up until now. How BLESSED beyond measure she is to have you!!! It's hard to say all that is in my heart for you and this little girl. Prayers that she will make the trip home okay and that once home, she can begin to heal from all of the pain. God bless all of you!

Missy :o)
(I also spent my 5 year old's 5th birthday in Ukraine! - last August - he has DS, too.)

Rachel said...

Happy Birthday sweet Haliee.

I can not imagine how hard it is A, praying for you guys. XXX

Coppedge Clan said...

Uh......I just want to weep reading all this about precious, little Hailee!!! We love you, Hailee....and we have never met you!!! Oh precious Lord, hold this little one's heart as you unleash her true identity and allow her to receive the Love of her parents and her siblings! May the Lord hold you all as you walk through this with her!!! Love you!!! Anne

Karin said...

Happy Birthday, sweet Hailee! May God pour our blessing on your life and restore all the years that the locusts have eaten.

Susan A said...

thinking of you, and praying that everything went smoothly with Hailee during the travel and that your children will be blessed with peace, compassion, and understanding in helping their new sister, to be sentisive to her needs and to encourage her to slowly gain trust and build her on her road to recovery.

Tammy ~ Country Girl at Home ~ said...

Happy Birthday to Hailee. I can't wait to see her NEXT year on her 6th birthday and see how far she's come with the love of her family!


Tony and Rett said...

Thank you for your honesty, friend.

Praying so much for Hailee's next 100 birthdays to be filled with joy, laughter, and love!

Happy birthday, sweet one.

Karen said...

Hi Adeye,
Praying for you and thanking Jesus that Hailee gets to spend her 5th birthday with you!

I was wondering about the medication she was on at the orphanage - do you know if it was addictive? Our girls first weeks with us were awful...later we learned they were probably on meds at the orphanage that we didnt know about and were more than likely experiencing withdrawl when they came to us.

Gonna be praying lots of strength and grace for you and your hubby.


waitingarms said...

Happy Belated Birthday princess Hailee. Praying for wisdom, strength and peace as you help the girls' transition from orphanage life into a loving home. Your obedience is so inspiring and a reminder to care about and do something about the kids left behind.


Alice said...

I know you have a baby carrier. We used a New Native Carrier(sling) with one of our children. It allowed him to be almost completely isolated from the outside world, while still being close to me. He was exceptionally sensitive to outside stimulation. I don't know what we would have done without our sling! Even in it, he would close his eyes tightly and then cover them with his arm. He sucked hard and constantly on a pacifier while I bounced, swayed, and rocked him while patting his back. That was the only way he could calm down and go to sleep. The slightest change, noise or change in light would set him off. Praying for your sweet girl. I hope you can find some ways to make her more comfortable! I will continue to pray. Safe travels!

Rachel said...

happy birthday pretty baby, so glad you are with your mommy and daddy...prayers, hugs, and love to you.
rachel hagemeyer

Kathy said...

My heart just breaks for all that
sweet Hailee has gone through.
She is finally were she belongs
in the arms of loving parents
and a family who will love on her
Praying for all of you.

blessedmomto8 said...

Happy Birthday precious one. Your new family will change so much in your life little one. May God's presence and healing surround you.

Renee said...

Praying for your precious blessing from above. God has an amazing plan for her and for your family.

Thank you for sharing and for allowing us to pray.

Love you all!

Jo's Corner said...

Dear Adeye ~ I am assuming you all made it home, with NO problems. And, I know you are exhausted and very busy, but could you fill us in on when and if you DID get home? Not trying to be a pest, just anxious to hear that you are all doing well. : ) Hugs ~ Jo

Melissa said...

Reading this I am reminded of the verse that tells us He will redeem the years the locusts have eaten. I am praying this over sweet Hailee. I'm a little late but, Happy birthday sweet girl! And welcome home to Hailee and Harper both!

Katie said...

Happy birthday sweet Hailee.
Your last post brought me to tears, you're at where I was at 10m ago with Julias behavior, over stimulated, self abusive, rocking for hours, sucking fingers nearly contantly. Julia and Hailee were probabaly on the anti psychotic for sedation, all to regulalte their central nervous system, NOT! She should not have been on this med either, as it was NOT for children, as we found out when we came home.Julia was diagnosed with autistic tendancies as well. Juia and Haillee lived in the same bldg at the orphanage, as I saw the pic you took. If I can be of any help to you, send me an E mail. Prayers to you and your family.


Anonymous said...

I am new to your blog (found you through Reese's Rainbow), Hailee's story absolutely breaks my heart. I am horrified that their are children going through the things that she has gone through. I thank you for opening my eyes...but at the same time, I am horrified. Bless your hearts for savings her, I can not wait to see how she grows and flourishes. I'll be following her new journey in life.