I knew that our announcement would be met with many opinions--some very supportive and encouraging, and some not so very nice at all. Seems that our latest journey has caused quite a stir.
On Christ the solid rock I stand!
For those of you who have reached out in love and support, I want you to know that it means the absolute world to me and my family. You guys are such a blessing to us!
So, why in the world would Anthony and I even consider this journey? What about all of the unknowns? What about the big IVF debate? Or, as someone put it, "Adéye, please reconsider your decision. IVF, artificial insemination bears much bad fruit. Embryos are eliminated because there are too many, now they do sex selection, many precious girls are never born because of this. Science is not always a friend to Gods' ways. Because we/they can do something doesn't always make it right. By hosting these frozen embryos you are encouraging and playing in to the Culture of Death. Don't listen to the evil ones voice that loves to see the destruction of Gods' Precious Ones."
I thought I would share my heart on this issue. This journey to adopt embryos is NOT about IVF. That is a completely different debate. I realize that everyone has their own opinions about whether IVF is right or wrong (just as people have opinions about all things). This is not about that! We're not creating more embryos. We're not playing into any "Culture of Death." On the contrary, embryo adoption has everything to do with LIFE. We're giving someone a chance to grow who already HAS LIFE and can become all who God has created them to be. I can't see how our decision (and I hope many others who choose this option as a way to grow their families) to adopt embryos will encourage more people to go through IVF. People will always do what they feel is best for their families. Infertile couples will always turn to IVF (just as they have for many years!). IVF will always be there and so will hundreds of thousands of children who are the consequence of that.
So, as the Church--the bride of Christ who is commanded to care for the widow and the fatherless (James 1:27), what should our response be to this overwhelming problem of there being over 600,000 precious babies frozen in this country alone? I asked the above commenter the same question. What should we do about the frozen babies who have either been donated to fertility clinics or various organizations that accept donated embryos because the genetic family no longer wants them or their life situation changes and they cannot use them themselves? What do we do about the precious families who are reaching out to others to adopt their remaining embryos? Do we leave them there--frozen in time? Do we just accept the fact that many will be donated to science or be "discarded" (literally thrown in the trash!)? Do we turn a blind eye to the fact that thousands will be donated to the next scientific experiment? What is our role in this growing problem?
If we truly believe that life begins at conception--if we believe that at that moment of fertilization we have LIFE--then these are babies. They are LIFE. And as the body of Christ, we are called to care for them too--just as we would any child. I don't care how they got there. I don't care how they were created. I'll let God be the judge of that. I have never walked the painful road called "infertility" and I am certainly not going to judge anyone who has made their own decisions. My only response is to care deeply--even if I don't agree with how they were created. If God ever called us to open our hearts to a child who was conceived out of rape or something else that we disagreed with, I would never, ever turn my back on them and say "No, thanks!" simply because of how they made their way into the world. It's not the child's fault, and punishing them by not opening our hearts to them is just not the heart of my loving, gracious, merciful God at all!
Some have asked me if I shouldn't rather be a surrogate mother and give these babies back to their genetic mother. I cannot share her story. That's hers to tell. But I can tell you that this is her only option--the best thing she believes she can do for her babies. The greatest gift for her would be to have a precious relationship with any live births that may come out of this adoption. My heart longs to give her that!
And then there are these thoughts..."I believe life begins at conception too and don't believe in abortion except in really special circumstances but to me an embryo without a beating heart is secondary to the children already alive and living in orphanages. It's hard for me to think of possibly creating more special-needs children when there are so many already born and needing a family."
And, "Why don't you just go and adopt another child who is already born? They need families so much more than embryos."
Well, if indeed you believe that life begins at conception, then it's a CHILD. And no, we're not "creating more special-needs children"...they're already created. They're there! Frozen. Waiting to be given a chance just like any other child who is waiting in an orphanage. These babies deserve a chance just the same as any of our other special-needs children did. No different. Life is life...no matter how small!
I have also been asked often whether I'm too old to carry a child. Heck, if God called Sarah to be a mother to Isaac when she was 91, I think I'm going to make it. I am fit, healthy, and more than able to carry a child. I trust in my Father's sovereignty--when He calls us by name, He equips us with everything that we need for the journey--and to do it well. Will it be easy? Probably not. You just have to read the Bible to know that any journey that God calls us to is rarely easy...but always, always worth it!
I asked the Father for just one thing in this life...His perfect will in our lives...not the easy road.
And finally, I have been asked many times how I will feel if these babies don't survive. So here's the thing. I don't know what the outcome of this will be. It's different to adopting a child who you know you will hold in your arms (although, even that doesn't go according to the way we hope sometimes). I don't know whether we will have a live birth. No clue. These babies have already been frozen for ten years. They have many obstacles to overcome before even one of them survives in my womb. But once again, I trust. Completely. My peace lies in the fact that the Almighty Father is writing a beautiful story in all of our lives--no matter what that looks like. Whether these babies have life here on earth, or fullness of life in heaven, that is in the hands of the ONE who holds all things in the palm of His hand. Whether God is simply giving these baby's genetic mom a gift in knowing that someone is willing to try and give her special children a chance, or whether His plans and purposes for their lives are to be born, well, that's all part of the journey of faith.
The dignity of the womb...it matters!
"The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living. It’s our handle on what we can’t see." ~~ Hebrews 11:1 (The Message)
We're pressing onward--embracing all that the Father has for our family. We're standing with arms wide open--ready and willing to do His will--no matter what, no matter when, no matter how, and no matter how difficult it may become.
With our shaky faith, and with all of our flaws and imperfections, we'll say yes again.
Everything else, we'll leave in His capable hands.
Comment moderation will always remain on. Comments that are rude, hateful or disrespectful will never be published on my blog. Thanks to someone who moderates for me, those comments never reach me either.