HOME!

Hi everyone,

So sorry we have not been able to update for the last few days. We could not sign into my blog for our last couple of days in China.

Our final two days in China were great. We absolutely love the Chinese people--they are so hospitable and so friendly. They all tried to speak to Hannah-Claire and Haven in Chinese. Too funny--they got no response from either. Hannah-Claire was very quick to inform them that she was a Chinese American and of course Haven said absolutely nothing at all :)

After a VERY long journey, we are finally home. It feels good to be back. We almost had a serious delay trying to leave Guangzhou early on Wednesday morning--a typhoon hit the night before! We woke up on Wednesday morning to a flooded hotel. The street was knee deep in water. So, our van could not drive up to the hotel to get us, and about 10 items of luggage. Joy! Before we knew it, six men had arrived off the street and between them they carried all our suitcases (and our kids) across the flooded street to a higher area where we could catch three taxis to get to the airport. It was such a funny experience. The kids loved it :) We made it to the airport just in time...Anthony had to run to the boarding gate and ask them to hold the door open for us.

The flights were long. We discovered that Haven is actually not afraid of flying. It was the seatbelt that she was terrified of. The feeling of being restrained traumatized her. As soon as we were able to, we removed the seatbelt and she did fine. The car seatbelt could be quite a challenge! She'll get used to it.

What a refreshing intermission to our journey to have Anthony's brother, David, and his wife Jennifer and their beautiful daughter Katie meet us at the Seattle airport. Anthony's nephew John couldn't get out of school. The Seattle Salems bought us all coffee and frappacinos at Starbucks. (Starbucks was born in Seattle!) We were so tired, but we had the best time catching up with them, even though it was for a little over an hour.

How wonderful to be home. My goodness, we missed our boys something awful. They were so happy to have us home. My Dad did an amazing job taking care of them while we were away, I can't even bring myself to think about him leaving.

Haven is doing well...she walked in the front door like she owned the place--until she got a friendly greeting from our dogs :) Yikes, she is soooooo afraid of them (if only she knew they are the biggest babies). She has no idea what dogs are. Even our sweet little cat is terrifying for her. We got some advice today and are introducing her slowly but surely to them, It will get easer, it is just going to take some time. But other than that she is doing great. She loves Connor and Kellan. She is HOME :)

Haven was feeling anxious before bedtime, she had a few tears -- all on his own Cade went into the bathroom and brought a tissue to wipe her tears away


He brushed her hair to make her feel better :)


The kids dancing in the elevator





Typhoon fever!



The journey home



At the Seattle airport with Anthony's brother, sister-in-law, and niece. Thanks, guys! It was a blast!




HOME!

Trial and error

Okay Dawn....mmmmmm, the fanny word. Well, let's just say that where I am from it is used to refer to a certain anatomical body part on a woman :) Tooooooo funny. You just CANNOT name a store that! LOL

Well, we're learning through trial and error with Haven. Since arriving in Guangzhou (GZ), she has been absolutely terrified to go to bed, yet in Nanjing we had no problems. Every time we put her to bed she cries these desperate sobs and we have not been able to console her. Last night was no different. Eventually we thought of something...we got Hannah-Claire out of her bed and put her in with Haven. Voila! The crying stopped instantly. We remembered that in crowded orphanages they always pair the kids up in beds...this sweetie is just not used to sleeping alone. It was frightening for her to be in a big bed alone. In Nanjing one of us slept with her in a king bed, which is why we had no problems there. Phew....it is quite a thing getting things right with Haven, not only is there the language barrier, but also her inability to speak, even to a Chinese person. She just cannot express her needs. We need some serious Holy Spirit revelations daily :).

This shot was taken this morning. You can see how much it means to her to have someone with her in bed.



Today we do all the U.S. Consulate stuff, getting ready to come home. Anthony is doing okay, the pain in his back is still unbearable. He is going to try and see a doctor today. Jodi, all the doctors at the Garden Hotel are on annual leave for two weeks, yuk! We'll see if he can see someone else today. Thank you so much for your prayers, everyone. Haven is a miracle before our eyes--every day with her is such a beautiful journey. Great is His Faithfulness!

A Day of Firsts, By Anthony

Today was a sweet day of "firsts." Some good, some bad. First the good...

Haven finally SAT on the toilet to wee. Up to this point, she was so afraid of it that she would stand over the toilet and wee all over the place. She was in such a hurry to get out of there, usually, that she would run out in midstream with her pants still down! But today, she sat down. HA-llelujah!

Now for the bad, it was her first experience of McDonalds. And unfortunately, she liked the fries. She didn't know what ketchup was, though. She saw the other kids dip their fries in the gooey red stuff, so she thought she'd try. But her fry merely scooped a microscopic portion of ketchup, then she sucked it off. Haven figured she liked it, and the rest is history.

While at McDonalds, Cade had to go to the toilet himself. We saw the cutest sign for the toilet, as you'll see below, but what was inside wasn't too cute for him. Still, he figured a hole in the ground is just about as good as any porcelain throne, so why not? What a trooper! Well, we'll see...when the time comes to squat on one.






Now these next two shots appeal to esoteric audiences. The first one will have special meaning to anyone who's traveled to China to adopt a child. Since everyone comes to Guangzhou for their new child's medical exam and American visa, we all know where the local hangout is to get some decent food. Yep, it's Lucy's. The prices have gone up a bit and the portions are a little smaller, but it's still a great place to hang and feel like you're in a mini-Hard Rock Cafe.

And the final shot has special meaning to anyone from South Africa. (Bear with us, all other Westerners.) It's a shop we passed while in a taxi. Adeye shouted, Hurry, take a shot of that! So this one is from her. I assume no responsibility for it. May God have mercy on her soul.

FIRST VIDEO: Haven Dances in Shoe Store

Hi, everyone,

Hope this video works. It's little "missy" dancing in a shoe store. She's obviously used to the paparazzi.

Anthony

Guangzhou

Hi, loved ones,

Phew, the last two days have been crazy. As we expected, our flight to Guangzhou last night was terrifying for Haven. She had no idea what was happening or where she was. She did eventually settle down, but it was so hard for her. We think drugs are going to be in order for the flight home. :) When we got to the hotel late last night Haven was so disoriented--poor little thing was so confused. Getting her to sleep was quite a thing and she just cried and cried. We felt so bad for her. Everything was so new and unsettling for her.

By this morning, she was doing so much better...until she had to have her medical examination. Yip, we have discovered that the girl hates doctors! Oh my word, did we hear all about it. She was the happiest camper when we walked out of the door and left. She turned around and waved goodbye. Too cute! She got over that trauma quickly and has been a little social butterfly all day. You can see some of the smiles in the pics below. She actually thinks she's quite cute and really plays it up for us. She loves to dance and has got the hip action down. She is just precious.

Every day we are learning more and more about Haven--what makes her happy and what upsets her. Most of the time she is a happy child. However, when she gets upset or afraid she almost disappears into another world. She shuts her eyes half-closed and makes a groaning sound. Fear triggers something in her little mind and the only way she knows to cope with it is by withdrawing. It breaks out hearts to see. We don't know if something happened to her in the orphanage or if it is part of autism, or something else happening, but hopefully as she is loved and made to feel safe it will get better and better.

Haven has become a lot more "vocal" with us. She makes the cutest sounds. Cade and Hannah-Claire have even started imitating her. She loves it. She almost makes baby sounds that are repetitive. We have still not heard a single proper word come out of her mouth. The doctor asked me today if I felt that she was unable to speak and never would be able to. No way! I believe with all my heart and trust my God that this child will some day learn to speak. We are so thankful that she is going to have the opportunity to get all the therapy and help she requires in the USA. She is just the most endearing little thing. She has the sweetest personality and is so loving all the attention she is getting. She loves us so much already. She loves to be cuddled and held. She has become a total Daddy's girl. She thinks her Dad is quite alright. :) Isn't God just so amazing? We feel so blessed.

Cade and Hannah-Claire are doing well. They have been so patient and kind with Haven. Cade loves to dance around with her. They have both been amazing. I know they are both ready to come home now...just a few more days.

Connor and Kellan, we miss you so much, sweet boys. We can't wait for you to meet your sister. She is going to love you so much. Just a few more sleeps :)





Daddy and his girls


Introducing Haven to Western food...she did not like fries at all...we're sure that will change in the USA!


Having fun on the bed



Haven came into the room with Anthony's glasses on upside down..she thought she was so cute!


Celebrity Cade

ANTHONY'S FIRST BLOG

Hi, all,

Anthony here. First I want to thank all of you for your prayers and genuine support during my bout with shingles. It was the strangest thing; it didn't show up until I was on the plane. Blisters started forming on my right arm. Then it started--the pain throughout my arm, but even more, on my back and neck. It feels like I fell off of a ten-story building and landed on my back. Now my right arm is nearly covered in itchy lesions, from the top of the shoulder to the palm of my hand. I'm on a high dosage of ibuprofen, but it's not helping, so I covet your prayers. That's the only thing the doctor said he could prescribe. On a happier note, I'm in love with my new daughter. As Adeye said, there seems to be a lot of work ahead of us, but it's still an absolute privilege from the Lord that we have her. You cannot imagine the joy she gives us. I intentionally stayed in the background the first few days to give Haven a chance to bond with her mom. Still, she let me touch her and even kiss her, but not pick her up. Then tonight, I played some music in our room and I saw she had a bit of groovin' action in her body. So I got out of my chair and started dancing with her. She laughed and laughed as she danced with her dad. Then she reached out her hands the way she does to Adeye when she wants to be picked up. So I picked her up and she hugged me. It was a breakthrough. The picture you see is that very moment. Excuse the way I look. It looks like I've got the John McCain cheek goin' on. Hannah-Claire and Cade have been wonderful. But Cade misses his brothers. Sometimes, out of the blue, he says, "I want to go home." "Home at the hotel?" we ask. "No, with Connor and Kellan." But he's much better when we do a webcam conference with the other boys. Cade loves it, and so do we. It was a brilliant idea Adeye had (besides marrying me). Here are some other memorable photos. To clarify some of them, you'll see some big dried squid hanging. There's also other things hanging that I'm not sure about. I could've sworn I saw some animal's eyeballs in a bin. No, this wasn't in a local street kiosk--it was in the Nanjing Wal-Mart! I dare Wal-Mart in the states to sell stuff like that. There was also live eels swimming in a tank that you take home and cook. Yum. Here's a photo of a street laundry. Looks cute, huh? Old men playing cards in front, waiting for customers. How quaint, right? Well those guys charged me the equivalent of $90 for a small load of wash! As I was pulling out the Chinese money, they were looking at me, snickering. Still, it was better than the hotel rate--$400 for the same small load!!!! At least SOME things are still cheaper in Colorado. And finally, here's one of my favorite shots of Cade at the hotel pool. He was mad about not going home again. Poor guy. You might want to pray for his heart to last another six nights until he sees his brothers again. And here are the others. Enjoy. And thank you again!

Leaving Nanjing

Good morning, everyone

Today we leave Nanjing and fly to Guangzhou in Southern China where we will process the USA part of Haven's adoption. Praying that Haven does okay on the flight.

Yesterday was good. Anthony told you that Haven had a major breakthrough with him, it was wonderful. We know that it will just get better and better every day. It is very common for the Chinese orphans to bond with mom first, many of them just do not know what men are, they are only accustomed to women in orphanages. So, after just two days Haven did very well. She continues to learn to trust us more and more. She insists on holding my hand everywhere we go, actually she would have me carry her everywhere if she had her way. She loves to rub her face against mine and is making wonderful eye contact with all of us. All these things are just beautiful, only a miracle of God. You are so right, Rachel, it is miraculous that she is even allowing us to touch her after what she has been through. Only God hey!

Haven is completely attached to a pair of shoes that I bought her in the US. Only problem is that they are way too big. We took her shopping yesterday to let her pick out something else that she liked, but she would have nothing to do with it. She loves these shoes, the problem is that she can hardly walk in them. With such low muscle tone, she is not the strongest walker around, but the shoes are making things even more challenging :) But, we are just allowing her to do what makes her happy. We'll deal with it when we get back to cold Colorado and she needs something warmer.

We are so thankful that we brought Cade and Hannah-Claire with us, it has been the best thing for Haven. She is playing with them and loves laughing with Cade when he does silly things.

Thank you for the advice about the clinic in GZ, we will look into it when we get there later. Do you guys know what it is called? Just post in the comments and we will check later. Thanks!

Thank you so much for all your love and support everyone, it means the absolute world to us to know that Haven is so loved and treasured by so many friends and family who live all over the world. We are blessed, and so is she :)

More later....

HOPE changes everything!

Good morning, precious friends and family,

It is Thursday morning here in China. Thank you all for your amazing support and encouragement, it has been such a huge blessing. We are almost 48 hours into having Haven. What a incredible journey it has been.

Yesterday Haven officially became Haven Maylin Salem! Praise the Lord. We went and did all the necessary paperwork and she walked out of the door a Salem :) For a little girl abandoned in an orphanage twice, I looked at her and my heart wanted to explode with love. She now has HOPE and an FUTURE! She is no longer considered a child in an institution with a "mental disorder"....she is a child with a bright future ahead of her, however it looks. She is a priceless treasure, NOT a child pushed away from everyone in case they "catch" what she has. She is loved and adored, just the way she is. We feel sooooooo blessed. Hope will allow Haven to become ALL that she can be in this life. Some day she will know the unfathomable love that her Father in heaven has for her. He does make all things beautiful in His time. I am seeing it before my eyes.

We are slowly but surely learning about our new daughter. I have to say that she is just the sweetest, most adorable little thing. :) Yesterday we took her to Walmart(Connor and Kellan...we tell DeeDee it is the New New Walmart!!!!). I was concerned about how she would do in a crowded environment. She amazed me. She just hung onto my hand and went where we did. She did the same as we walked to a restaurant last night. It seems that she is trusting us, something I really prayed for. She really attaches herself to certain things, sometimes a toy or anything that she can hold in her hands. She will carry it around for hours. She communicates with us by shaking her head for NO and nodding for YES. She gets very frustrated if she has lost something or if one of the kids takes something away from her.

On Tuesday I said that she was like a three year old, but after some time has passed, I think she is probably more like a two year old. It is just like having a toddler in the house. She is so very, very delayed. Dawn, she reminds me so much of Autumn when I first met her in Guangzhou. She has very low muscle tone. She kind of walks like a floppy rag doll. I don't even think she is able to run. I know that, with time, she will gain strength.

Because of her extreme delays, it is so hard to know what is going on with her mentally--it's difficult to separate the delays from autism, or even retardation. There is just no way of knowing. Once she is home, settled, and some time has passed, we will start looking into it more. It is just so hard to tell right now. In the meantime, we are just learning how to meet her needs exactly where she is.

Haven has made some major breakthroughs in just two days. She was absolutely terrified of the toilet (they use a hole in the floor here :) ). So we bought a baby potty for her to use. Yesterday I found her sitting on the big toilet, without me even prompting her. She is also finally allowing me to change her clothes. Ooohhh, and she has discovered the bath....she loves water, and bubbles are the most fascinating thing to her... As small as she is, the girl loves to eat :)

Each day is a learning adventure, for us and for Haven. We are taking things very slowly with her. Thank you so much for your love and your prayers. Thank you for your continued prayers as Haven learns to trust us completely.

Feelings and emotions

Good morning, precious friends and family, it is 5 a.m. here in China and we are all awake and ready for a new day :) Haven slept pretty well, thank you, Lord.

I have so many feelings and emotions happening, so many things I want to share with you all. Yesterday, at the Civil Affairs office where we got Haven, we had to sign a document giving us custody of Haven for 24 hours. What? In Nanchung, where we adopted Hannah-Claire, she became ours the day we received her. We were told that we had a "harmony period" with Haven....24 hours with her to decide if we wanted to keep her or not. What in the world?! We told them that she is our daughter and no matter what is wrong with her we will NEVER change our minds...let us just pay the money, sign the papers, and leave with our daughter. They would not budge, they insisted that we have some time with her to think about it. Oh my goodness, there is just no way we would EVER change our minds. Poor nannies went out of their way to tell us about Haven's lack of speech and how needy she is...they probably think we are a little crazy. By the end of our time together yesterday, I think they finally "got it", they were so grateful that Haven has finally got a family, they KNEW that she is stuck with us forever :)

As you all know, Haven was legally adopted two years ago, the family only kept her for a few days, and then returned her to the orphanage, feeling like they could not handle her needs. She was diagnosed with "Closed Syndrome", or Autism and we know it. It is fairly unknown here. When she got back to the orphanage, the staff were afraid of her "condition", they were afraid that if they touched her, they would catch it too. As a result, they told the other kids NOT to touch her either. So, our sweet girl has had very little physical contact from anyone for over two years now! My heart breaks. I am amazed that she is even reaching out to us and allowing us to touch her at all, but she is. Can only be God. I am getting a glimpse into how God has protected her, how He truly has held her heart in His hands. I am so in awe Him this morning.

Thank you so much for all the love and support we have received, thank you for your very kind comments. We are so blessed to have such special people in our lives. I know that God hears every prayer that has been prayed for Haven. We are seeing the power of prayer right before our eyes through our daughter. Thank you for all the prayers for Anthony too. His shingles is getting worse, the rash is spreading. He feels awful. The doctor did tell him that it would get worse before it starts getting better. He is going to try and get stronger drugs today.

What a day!

What an emotion-filled day this has been! We arrived early to pick up Haven at the Civil Affairs office, because our guide thought we could do the paperwork before she arrived. As we walked in the door, Anthony said, "There she is!" They had arrived long before us and were waiting. We scrambled to get out our camera. As we walked up to Haven and her nanny, we knew that we should take things very slowly. We knew that she would be terrified. And she was! As soon as she saw us, she hid behind the nanny and wanted absolutely nothing to do with us, having absolute fear in her eyes. We just sat nearby and let her get used to having us there. Eventually we asked the nannies if they would go back to our hotel room with us; we figured it would be easier on Haven than just walking away with her. They agreed. It was such a blessing to have them stay with us for a while, we asked them many questions and got a lot of feedback. It was so helpful.

When the time came for them to leave, we knew it was not going to be easy. Haven freaked out and clung to them, begging them not to go. When they left, she cried uncontrollably for about an hour...it broke my heart. Everyone that she knew and loved just walked out the door, leaving her with people she had never seen. I felt her pain and could not help weeping with her. After about an hour of sobbing, she began to settle down. She just lay in my arms and calmed down. When Anthony and the kids got back, she started coming out of her shell a little, very slowly but surely.

By this afternoon she was a different child. She has been exploring her environment and laughing at the silliest things. I have no doubt that she is going to bond with us. She is already coming for hugs. :) I know that as the days progress, and she knows that she can trust us, it will get even better.

So, here are some observations about her personality and development. Firstly, she is TINY! She is so much smaller than Hannah-Claire, who is two years younger. Either she is just a very small person, or she will catch up. I bought size 6 clothes for her, but they are way too big. She is completely non-verbal (we have not heard her say anything). She makes lots of babbling sounds, but no words. The nannies were adament that she does indeed say words....we will just have to see. Inspite of not speaking, she communicates pretty well....she shakes her head for NO and smiles for YES. Our initial feeling, and it is only day one, is that she is EXTREMELY delayed in all areas of her life. She seems more like a three year old, than an almost eight year old. A lot of it could be institutionalism. The nannies told me that she never has one-on-one time in the orphanage. There are just too many kids. She is always in a group setting. We will share more as time passes.

We feel so blessed tonight. Yes, the road ahead with Haven is going to have its challenges. We still have no idea what the future is going to hold for her, and probably will not know for a while. BUT, she is such a joy. I look at her today and am so grateful that finally, after three years of waiting for a family, she has a mom and dad who love her unconditionally, and brothers and a sister who will treasure her just the way she is. She will have all the one-on-one time she so deserves and things will only get better, one day at a time.

Here are some picture of our first day with Haven. You will notice toward the end how she is smiling and how her little personality starts shining. I have a feeling that this little rosebud is going to blossom :) She is just absolutely beautiful.