Today I took Haven to our local public school for a speech therapy assessment. It was so interesting and the Speech Therapist was wonderful. She had some great ideas in helping Haven to at least make sounds...kind of like baby babbling sounds.
Haven and I spent about 40 minutes with her. After our session I met with the Speech Therapist and the Principal of the school. They both felt that it would be a HUGE benefit to Haven if we enrolled her in the Kindergarten class (even though she is 8). They felt that by putting her in a small class, Haven would learn much quicker. AND, she would benefit from all the services that the school can offer her--regular speech therapy and ESL.
This is the first time that we have considered this as an option for Haven. My first response to them was that I would ONLY consider it if Hannah-Claire was enrolled with Haven. Hannah-Claire is actually in Kindergarten, but is obviously homeschooled.
I feel so torn about what to do. I know that Haven will benefit a lot from the intervention services that the school can offer BUT I am hesitant to send her. I am concerned about how she will do. We still have regular "toiled issues"--how will she cope in a school environment? I know that Hannah-Claire will help her a lot, she is amazing with Haven. I know too that Haven would feel safe having Hannah-Claire with her. Because Haven is older than three, the only way we can obtain free services is through the school district. We just cannot afford to do it privately.
Soooooo, my heart is so torn tonight. What is the best thing for my daughter? Please pray with us that God would give us peace about what to do.
I guess I feel torn because I truly love homeschooling my children, it is such a joy. I love having Haven home with me, where I know that she is taken care of, where I know I can meet her needs. But, is it the best thing for Haven right now? Does she need more than what she is getting at home? I just don't know. Today brought a bit of confusion.
October 31, 2008
October 28, 2008
Incredible testimony
I am sooooo not into politics---I totally leave that department to my dearest hubby. But, the elections here have caught my attention over the last few months. I have been so grieved by the build up to the election next week. How our Father in heaven must weep over what He sees.
Obviously abortion has been in the media regularly. One side is pro-life and the other very pro-choice. A few years ago I read an amazing book called "Gianna", it really moved me. Gianna has been on TV and radio regularly recently. She was recently in Australia and her address to the people there was posted on You Tube. It is absolutely incredible. This woman is so unashamed of the gospel, so in love with the ONE who gave her life after a failed abortion. She travels around the world sharing her story and runs marathons--after being told she would NEVER sit, walk or lead anything that resembled a normal life--she was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy--a result of her brain being starved of oxygen after the abortion.
She sure does stir me up to be more "out there" about the things I am passionate about. Time is short, we have one opportunity to live the life God intended us to live--one shot at it. I long to live a life of purpose and destiny! I have such a long way to go.
The two videos are about 15 minutes in total--absolutely amazing.
Obviously abortion has been in the media regularly. One side is pro-life and the other very pro-choice. A few years ago I read an amazing book called "Gianna", it really moved me. Gianna has been on TV and radio regularly recently. She was recently in Australia and her address to the people there was posted on You Tube. It is absolutely incredible. This woman is so unashamed of the gospel, so in love with the ONE who gave her life after a failed abortion. She travels around the world sharing her story and runs marathons--after being told she would NEVER sit, walk or lead anything that resembled a normal life--she was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy--a result of her brain being starved of oxygen after the abortion.
She sure does stir me up to be more "out there" about the things I am passionate about. Time is short, we have one opportunity to live the life God intended us to live--one shot at it. I long to live a life of purpose and destiny! I have such a long way to go.
The two videos are about 15 minutes in total--absolutely amazing.
October 27, 2008
A fantastic book
You guys want to be stirred up, shaken up, given a little kick in the rear? You standing at the edge of a cliff, ready to jump into the next dream or desire that God has put on your heart? Maybe it seems a little crazy or daunting? You have GOT to read this book! I have been reading Kay Warren's book called Dangerous Surrender and highly recommend it. Go buy it and read it....you WILL be challenged to do the ridiculous for God.
http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product_slideshow?sku=258902&actual;_sku=258902
http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product_slideshow?sku=258902&actual;_sku=258902
October 26, 2008
My loves!
Sometimes I look at my family and they literally take my breathe away. I am such a blessed lady :)
Four of the loves of my life
Four of the loves of my life
October 23, 2008
Grow hair grow!
Haven LOVES Hannah-Claire's long hair. Every time I brush Hannah-Claire's hair or put it in a pony tail, I feel so bad for Haven--she pulls on her own hair and brings me a hair band. She wants a pony tail too. So, today we did it...we gathered all the hair we possibly could and she got her pony tail :) She loved it. Sweetness!
October 22, 2008
Winter comes early to the mountains
We woke up this morning to snow! What happened to Fall??? Winters where we live tend to be long and cold. The kids love it...for the first month :) They got some time off school to play in the snow and have fun today. What's a little more school to catch up on?
October 20, 2008
Haven learns how to blow out candles
Here is a short video of Haven trying so hard to blow out her birthday candles. She is clueless as to how to do it. Every time she tried, she spat all over the cake :) Cade thought it was hilarious, as you can hear on the video. She tried and tried....eventually mom blew them out for her (hoping that she thought she had done it herself :) ). It was too cute.
Anthony apologizes for the video being sideways...he was trying to fit everyone in! Just turn your head sideways and you'll have the perfect view :)
Don't forget to turn off the music at the bottom of this page.
Anthony apologizes for the video being sideways...he was trying to fit everyone in! Just turn your head sideways and you'll have the perfect view :)
Don't forget to turn off the music at the bottom of this page.
Haven turns 8!
Today we celebrated Haven's birthday. What a blessing that she is home on her birthday, probably the first one she has ever celebrated. Her orphanage did not celebrate birthdays.
We brought out her presents and she had absolutely no idea what to do with them...thankfully she had four other very willing little helpers on hand to help :) She absolutely loves music and dancing in front of a mirror--we found the perfect gift. It is called Star Station. It is a little camera that you plug into the TV, it comes with two microphones and a music disc. Well---she LOVED it! She was glued to the TV screen for hours, moving her hips and babbling away. The girl has definitely got natural rhythm. Seeing Haven have the BEST time ever was just such a thrill for Anthony and I. It just doesn't get better than this!
We brought out her presents and she had absolutely no idea what to do with them...thankfully she had four other very willing little helpers on hand to help :) She absolutely loves music and dancing in front of a mirror--we found the perfect gift. It is called Star Station. It is a little camera that you plug into the TV, it comes with two microphones and a music disc. Well---she LOVED it! She was glued to the TV screen for hours, moving her hips and babbling away. The girl has definitely got natural rhythm. Seeing Haven have the BEST time ever was just such a thrill for Anthony and I. It just doesn't get better than this!
October 17, 2008
"For I know the plans I have for you"
The Lord has really had us in a place of reflecting on the past and praying about the future. The last few weeks have been about us examining our hearts, seeking Him on the passions and desires that are within us. It has been a time of looking back--AND looking ahead.
Where did we begin?
Anthony walked into my life in 1996. We KNEW almost immediately that it was no coincidence. We were engaged three months later, and married 6 months after that. We lived in South Africa where we did any kind of ministry that God sent our way. It was a blessed time. From that day forward we told the Lord "here we are, Lord, use us in whatever way you desire". It is still the cry of our hearts--to do whatever He tells us to do and to go wherever He sends us.
Before we got married we had the usual chat about how many kids we felt we wanted. Anthony wanted four. I was completely horrified! There was NO WAY I could handle four children--I told him two was my max! Just as well God doesn't reveal tooooo much information about the future--I probably would have had heart failure had I known what He had planned for the future regarding the size of our family :) Isn't He just so gracious?????
Along came Connor, our first. Phew...one down I thought to myself. We decided that we would have two kids quickly, and then we would be done. Funny.
I look at our beginnings and am so in awe of what an amazing Father in heaven we serve. The journey's He takes each one of us on are just soooooo incredible, so part of His purpose and destiny for our lives. The deepest desire of my heart is that I would know what it means to surrender COMPLETELY to His will--holding nothing back. Just absolute abandonment to his will.
The last seven years have been an amazing journey, filled with highs and lows. God has taken us gently by the hand and helped us navigate our way through the good decisions, and the not-so-good. But, through it all He has kept us pressing in and pressing on toward the finish line.
How does the future look? We have no idea....but our promise to the Lord still stands..."here we are Lord, send us!" We know He'll take us up on it :)
Thank you for journeying with us.
Where did we begin?
Anthony walked into my life in 1996. We KNEW almost immediately that it was no coincidence. We were engaged three months later, and married 6 months after that. We lived in South Africa where we did any kind of ministry that God sent our way. It was a blessed time. From that day forward we told the Lord "here we are, Lord, use us in whatever way you desire". It is still the cry of our hearts--to do whatever He tells us to do and to go wherever He sends us.
Before we got married we had the usual chat about how many kids we felt we wanted. Anthony wanted four. I was completely horrified! There was NO WAY I could handle four children--I told him two was my max! Just as well God doesn't reveal tooooo much information about the future--I probably would have had heart failure had I known what He had planned for the future regarding the size of our family :) Isn't He just so gracious?????
Along came Connor, our first. Phew...one down I thought to myself. We decided that we would have two kids quickly, and then we would be done. Funny.
I look at our beginnings and am so in awe of what an amazing Father in heaven we serve. The journey's He takes each one of us on are just soooooo incredible, so part of His purpose and destiny for our lives. The deepest desire of my heart is that I would know what it means to surrender COMPLETELY to His will--holding nothing back. Just absolute abandonment to his will.
The last seven years have been an amazing journey, filled with highs and lows. God has taken us gently by the hand and helped us navigate our way through the good decisions, and the not-so-good. But, through it all He has kept us pressing in and pressing on toward the finish line.
How does the future look? We have no idea....but our promise to the Lord still stands..."here we are Lord, send us!" We know He'll take us up on it :)
Thank you for journeying with us.
October 16, 2008
One month!
How the cool girls bath
Haven has been a Salem for one month. In many ways it feels like she has been here forever, and in other ways it feels like we were in China yesterday. Soooooo much has happened in just one month.
Haven is making progress every day. She has slept in her own bed for two nights now....a major breakthrough for her. You may remember that she was absolutely terrified of sleeping alone. Hannah-Claire has been so kind and patient in sharing her bed with her sister. The first night Haven cried for just a little when she realized that we were going to put her in her own bed--last night when it was time for bedtime, she ran upstairs and climbed straight into her bed, she fell asleep almost immediately. Thank you Jesus!
Every little milestone she makes is such a blessing for us to witness. Her clothes are starting to go on the right way :), she is figuring out what the toilet is for...and how to use it, she is beginning to hold a pencil properly (not like a 9 month old), she is learning to put her shoes and socks on with little help. Each day brings new and exciting accomplishments. We see a strength in this child, an ability to adapt to new situations and give new things a try. She is tenacious and tries hard, she seems to learn quickly. I am amazed at her resilience after all she has endured in her short life. I know that ALL the delays that she is dealing with will, very soon, be a thing of the past.
We have started looking into speech therapy and intervention services. This is so new for Anthony and I--we are so clueless about how to teach Haven to speak. We have tried getting her to imitate us, but she has no idea what to do with her mouth and tongue to make the words come out. It is actually very cute watching her trying so hard to make the sounds come out. I believe with all my heart that she WILL get it, it is just going to take time.
We are blessed beyond words. Haven is a treasure. She is so comfortable with us and just loves her family. What a joy!
Haven has been a Salem for one month. In many ways it feels like she has been here forever, and in other ways it feels like we were in China yesterday. Soooooo much has happened in just one month.
Haven is making progress every day. She has slept in her own bed for two nights now....a major breakthrough for her. You may remember that she was absolutely terrified of sleeping alone. Hannah-Claire has been so kind and patient in sharing her bed with her sister. The first night Haven cried for just a little when she realized that we were going to put her in her own bed--last night when it was time for bedtime, she ran upstairs and climbed straight into her bed, she fell asleep almost immediately. Thank you Jesus!
Every little milestone she makes is such a blessing for us to witness. Her clothes are starting to go on the right way :), she is figuring out what the toilet is for...and how to use it, she is beginning to hold a pencil properly (not like a 9 month old), she is learning to put her shoes and socks on with little help. Each day brings new and exciting accomplishments. We see a strength in this child, an ability to adapt to new situations and give new things a try. She is tenacious and tries hard, she seems to learn quickly. I am amazed at her resilience after all she has endured in her short life. I know that ALL the delays that she is dealing with will, very soon, be a thing of the past.
We have started looking into speech therapy and intervention services. This is so new for Anthony and I--we are so clueless about how to teach Haven to speak. We have tried getting her to imitate us, but she has no idea what to do with her mouth and tongue to make the words come out. It is actually very cute watching her trying so hard to make the sounds come out. I believe with all my heart that she WILL get it, it is just going to take time.
We are blessed beyond words. Haven is a treasure. She is so comfortable with us and just loves her family. What a joy!
October 14, 2008
I just have to say it.....
I know, I know....I really shouldn't do it--Looking at waiting child websites should be completely off limits for me :) But, my heart cannot help it...I long, with everything that is within me, to see less children waiting for families.
But, the orphan crisis is at it's worst ever. There are literally hundreds of thousands of children who wait--many without hope of ever finding a family to love them. I think about how close Haven came to being one of those children. What would her life have looked like had she have stayed in China? She would have had no hope. Haven is one of the fortunate ones. There are soooooo many more like her...children who wonder every day if a mommy and daddy will ever come for them. Especially the older children.
I do confess. Before the Lord opened our hearts to adoption and orphans I used to see all the advertisements for orphan sponsorships and never really gave it a second thought. It was always something someone else could take care of. Yikes! Doesn't Gods word tell me that we ALL need to take care of the widows and the orphans?
Now, I know that not everyone is called to adopt. I completely understand that. But, my hearts desire is to see ALL of us doing something, however big or small to help. There are many wonderful ministries to support an orphan through. If we don't feel called to adopt ourselves, what about helping those who are called with financial help? The costs of adoption are, quite frankly, insane. The financial barrier puts so many families off, it is just too daunting. But oh how God loves to mobilize the Body of Christ when there is a need, especially when it comes to rescuing a child out of a hopeless situation. We have seen it with both of our adoptions. Father God provided every dollar that we needed to bring the girls home--most of the money came from people we have never even met. God used each one of them. Every little bit given to a family's adoption adds up so quickly.
If anyone reading my blog has never considered adoption as part of God's plan for your family....PLEASE prayerfully consider it. Steven Curtis Chapman's ministry, Shaohannah's Hope, recently put out a statement that if just ONE IN SEVEN Christian families took in just one child, there would be no more orphans in the world. Wow! It does not matter whether they are babies, healthy children, special needs children or older children.....they ALL need someone to love them.
My life will never be the same again. I have seen the miracle working hand of God through my two daughters. I never imagined I could ever love any child as much as I love my biological sons....until God showed me another way. It is true, they are birthed in my heart. No amount of material wealth or earthly belongings could EVER bless me as much as these two girls have. My life is changed--I see things differently. The things of the world seem so much less significant to me now. I have experienced Christ's love in such a tangible way by stepping out and taking in two orphan girls. The Father has turned my life inside out and upside down---my dreams included having two children, a big house and enough money to give them everything they ever desired----wow did God have other plans for the Salem's!
But, the orphan crisis is at it's worst ever. There are literally hundreds of thousands of children who wait--many without hope of ever finding a family to love them. I think about how close Haven came to being one of those children. What would her life have looked like had she have stayed in China? She would have had no hope. Haven is one of the fortunate ones. There are soooooo many more like her...children who wonder every day if a mommy and daddy will ever come for them. Especially the older children.
I do confess. Before the Lord opened our hearts to adoption and orphans I used to see all the advertisements for orphan sponsorships and never really gave it a second thought. It was always something someone else could take care of. Yikes! Doesn't Gods word tell me that we ALL need to take care of the widows and the orphans?
Now, I know that not everyone is called to adopt. I completely understand that. But, my hearts desire is to see ALL of us doing something, however big or small to help. There are many wonderful ministries to support an orphan through. If we don't feel called to adopt ourselves, what about helping those who are called with financial help? The costs of adoption are, quite frankly, insane. The financial barrier puts so many families off, it is just too daunting. But oh how God loves to mobilize the Body of Christ when there is a need, especially when it comes to rescuing a child out of a hopeless situation. We have seen it with both of our adoptions. Father God provided every dollar that we needed to bring the girls home--most of the money came from people we have never even met. God used each one of them. Every little bit given to a family's adoption adds up so quickly.
If anyone reading my blog has never considered adoption as part of God's plan for your family....PLEASE prayerfully consider it. Steven Curtis Chapman's ministry, Shaohannah's Hope, recently put out a statement that if just ONE IN SEVEN Christian families took in just one child, there would be no more orphans in the world. Wow! It does not matter whether they are babies, healthy children, special needs children or older children.....they ALL need someone to love them.
My life will never be the same again. I have seen the miracle working hand of God through my two daughters. I never imagined I could ever love any child as much as I love my biological sons....until God showed me another way. It is true, they are birthed in my heart. No amount of material wealth or earthly belongings could EVER bless me as much as these two girls have. My life is changed--I see things differently. The things of the world seem so much less significant to me now. I have experienced Christ's love in such a tangible way by stepping out and taking in two orphan girls. The Father has turned my life inside out and upside down---my dreams included having two children, a big house and enough money to give them everything they ever desired----wow did God have other plans for the Salem's!
October 10, 2008
Life with Haven
We're adjusting to life with our new daughter. Every day brings something new. She has totally embraced us as her family. What an answer to prayer that is! She is very comfortable at home and has even bonded with our pets...another answer to prayer. God has been so good to us.
Yes, we do have our challenges. It reminds me of having a newborn baby and trying to figure out what their needs are. We are having to rely on some serious Holy Spirit revelations to show us the way here. We considered teaching Haven sign language, the kids and I started learning it a long time ago. But, now that Haven is home we have felt that teaching her ASL would probably not be the best thing for her. She may turn to signing as a way to communicate instead of learning to vocalize things. We need to get a second opinion on it. This is all so new to us, we are just having to learn as we go along. We almost feel like we are brand new parents again, figuring out the parenting thing.
Haven has made some amazing progress in the short time she has been home. As I said, we thought that it would take her a long time to get used to our dogs--it just took a few days. She is finally sleeping through the night--just as long as Hannah-Claire is right beside her in the bed. We have had some breakthroughs with her changing her own clothes. She usually puts her clothes on the wrong way around, but we are so grateful that she is at least trying to dress herself. Going potty is still a huge challenge, but it is going to take time. We are learning to take baby steps with her, one day at a time.
The girl can move those hips :)
Haven saw the kids up in the tree house and insisted on joining them
The swing is fun!
The last days of Fall
Cody is NOT the enemy :)
The park was a little intimidating...until she discovered the swing!
Yes, we do have our challenges. It reminds me of having a newborn baby and trying to figure out what their needs are. We are having to rely on some serious Holy Spirit revelations to show us the way here. We considered teaching Haven sign language, the kids and I started learning it a long time ago. But, now that Haven is home we have felt that teaching her ASL would probably not be the best thing for her. She may turn to signing as a way to communicate instead of learning to vocalize things. We need to get a second opinion on it. This is all so new to us, we are just having to learn as we go along. We almost feel like we are brand new parents again, figuring out the parenting thing.
Haven has made some amazing progress in the short time she has been home. As I said, we thought that it would take her a long time to get used to our dogs--it just took a few days. She is finally sleeping through the night--just as long as Hannah-Claire is right beside her in the bed. We have had some breakthroughs with her changing her own clothes. She usually puts her clothes on the wrong way around, but we are so grateful that she is at least trying to dress herself. Going potty is still a huge challenge, but it is going to take time. We are learning to take baby steps with her, one day at a time.
The girl can move those hips :)
Haven saw the kids up in the tree house and insisted on joining them
The swing is fun!
The last days of Fall
Cody is NOT the enemy :)
The park was a little intimidating...until she discovered the swing!
October 9, 2008
Still here!
Hi precious friends and family,
Oh my goodness, where has time gone???? I am so sorry we have been so quiet. Thank you so much for all the e-mails wondering how we are and how Haven is doing. Life has been a little bit of a whirlwind. I feel like I need to come up to breathe a little.
Where have the last 2 weeks gone? Four days after getting home from China Anthony had to go to Minnesota on business. While he was away Hannah-Claire got chickenpox (we had a feeling at least one of our kids may get it....shingles is the same virus). She actually did petty well with it, other than the annoying spots she had very few symptoms. None of the other kids got it, I was kind of hoping they would...then we would be done with chickenpox! Kellan did get a very sore throat which we thought may become chickenpox, but it did not progress into anything more. Thankfully Hannah-Claire is well and doing great now.
Anthony got home from Minnesota and a couple of days later he and I, together with Haven, flew to Virginia. My dearest Dad looked after our other four kiddos--he is the best! We were flown out there for a potential job that Anthony was interested it. To cut a very long story short--it was a disaster! Not something we would ever get ourselves into. BUT, it was such a God-ordained meeting. Anthony and I came away from it with clearer direction than we have had in years. The Lord spoke so clearly to our hearts about our future and the the plans and purposes He has for us. We came home with a vision and purpose, not discouraged in the least. Doesn't God just love to use every opportunity He gives us for HIS glory? And, I got to see my very special friend Rachel and her family. She has a daughter from China whom I had not met yet...so I guess the trip was worth it :) I will share more about the things God is doing in our lives as things unfold.
So here we are this week. The carpet in our living room got ruined so we had to have it replaced. My house has been a complete disaster for the last 2 days--oh my, and no internet! How could I ever survive without it????
Thank you to everyone who has asked about Anthony and his Shingles. He is doing okay. He spent a lot of time at the doctor last week. He has made some major diet changes. We have really had to take a look at what he eats and his lifestyle. Some serious changes have taken place. It seems that this is the only way he is going to build his immune system and beat this thing. Thankfully he is feeling a little better. He still has the chronic pain, but it seems more bearable. Praise God.
Needless to say not much school has been happening in the Salem house. The last month has been way too crazy, but oh so blessed. My Dad flies home to South Africa on Saturday. He has been with us for five weeks. My children are already crying because their Bampie is leaving. Breaks my heart.
Haven is doing well. She did great on our little adventure to Virginia. She is so sweet. She absolutely adores Hannah-Claire, she follows her around all day long. It is so precious. Hannah-Claire has been so kind and so patient. I have so much to share about Haven, and lots of pictures to post. I promise to do it tomorrow.
Thank you for all your love and support!
Oh my goodness, where has time gone???? I am so sorry we have been so quiet. Thank you so much for all the e-mails wondering how we are and how Haven is doing. Life has been a little bit of a whirlwind. I feel like I need to come up to breathe a little.
Where have the last 2 weeks gone? Four days after getting home from China Anthony had to go to Minnesota on business. While he was away Hannah-Claire got chickenpox (we had a feeling at least one of our kids may get it....shingles is the same virus). She actually did petty well with it, other than the annoying spots she had very few symptoms. None of the other kids got it, I was kind of hoping they would...then we would be done with chickenpox! Kellan did get a very sore throat which we thought may become chickenpox, but it did not progress into anything more. Thankfully Hannah-Claire is well and doing great now.
Anthony got home from Minnesota and a couple of days later he and I, together with Haven, flew to Virginia. My dearest Dad looked after our other four kiddos--he is the best! We were flown out there for a potential job that Anthony was interested it. To cut a very long story short--it was a disaster! Not something we would ever get ourselves into. BUT, it was such a God-ordained meeting. Anthony and I came away from it with clearer direction than we have had in years. The Lord spoke so clearly to our hearts about our future and the the plans and purposes He has for us. We came home with a vision and purpose, not discouraged in the least. Doesn't God just love to use every opportunity He gives us for HIS glory? And, I got to see my very special friend Rachel and her family. She has a daughter from China whom I had not met yet...so I guess the trip was worth it :) I will share more about the things God is doing in our lives as things unfold.
So here we are this week. The carpet in our living room got ruined so we had to have it replaced. My house has been a complete disaster for the last 2 days--oh my, and no internet! How could I ever survive without it????
Thank you to everyone who has asked about Anthony and his Shingles. He is doing okay. He spent a lot of time at the doctor last week. He has made some major diet changes. We have really had to take a look at what he eats and his lifestyle. Some serious changes have taken place. It seems that this is the only way he is going to build his immune system and beat this thing. Thankfully he is feeling a little better. He still has the chronic pain, but it seems more bearable. Praise God.
Needless to say not much school has been happening in the Salem house. The last month has been way too crazy, but oh so blessed. My Dad flies home to South Africa on Saturday. He has been with us for five weeks. My children are already crying because their Bampie is leaving. Breaks my heart.
Haven is doing well. She did great on our little adventure to Virginia. She is so sweet. She absolutely adores Hannah-Claire, she follows her around all day long. It is so precious. Hannah-Claire has been so kind and so patient. I have so much to share about Haven, and lots of pictures to post. I promise to do it tomorrow.
Thank you for all your love and support!
October 3, 2008
Haven's first outing with her family
Here are a bunch of pics of Haven's first fishing outing! She loved it. She even ventured so far as to take off her shoes and put her feet in the water...not bad for a little girl who would NOT take her shoes off in China for anything! She fits right in :)
October 1, 2008
A journey of HOPE
Hi everyone
Sorry we have been so quite. Thank you for ALL the e-mails wondering how things are going. A huge thank you to everyone in our community for the outpouring of love we have received--the visits, meals, gifts for Haven and cards have meant more to us than you will ever know. We appreciate it so much. Some day Haven will understand how much she is loved :)
Well, life in the Salem house has been a little on the crazy side. PLEASE continue to pray for Anthony, he is not doing well at all. From what doctors are saying, his shingles has progressed to the worst kind one can get. It is permanent. The pain is excruciating! He is barely able to function normally. Poor guy has been in Minnesota for two days, he comes home today. He is trying various drugs, just to find some relief. He goes back to the doctor today. We are trusting for COMPLETE HEALING! We have some major decisions to make in the next few days, please pray for clarity and wisdom.
Haven is doing great. It is hard to believe she has been with us for only two weeks, it feels like so much longer. Now that a bit of time has passed and she has settled more, we have been able to look at her "condition" more objectively. Let me start at the beginning here---back in August last year when I found an urgent appeal on a Waiting Child site for a family to come forward for this little girl. I called the agency who had her file. They sent me all her pictures, as well as a letter the previous family who adopted her had written. As Anthony and I studied the pictures, something in our hearts stirred, she just did not look Autistic to us. We then called the family who previously adopted her, we wanted to know from them what her symptoms were and how the hospital came to the Autistic diagnosis. The father gave us his perspective on things, he stressed the importance of us knowing what we were getting into, that she was VERY mentally ill! They reversed the adoption out of concern for the other children in their home (two sons). We knew we had to adopt this child. From then on God performed miracle after miracle, providing us with every dollar we needed to bring her home.
Fast forward to adoption day--when we first met Haven she was sitting with the director of the orphanage. As soon as she saw us walk through the door she totally freaked out. After a few minutes she calmed down, she felt safe sitting in the directors arms. She was almost like a floppy rag doll, she would not make eye contact and the director kept lifting her hand to touch me. She obviously would have nothing to do with it. My initial thought when looking at her that day--this child has some retardation!
Here we are two weeks later--some time has passed and we have observed Haven carefully. Autism? We do not see it! Haven has met many people over the last two weeks and every opinion has been the same---nobody sees Autism. Yesterday I had to take Hannah-Claire to the doctor, I took Haven with us. Just from looking at her our doctor said "I do not see Autism, she engages too well!". He confirmed what we had been thinking. Now, I must add that Haven has not had any official diagnosis here in the USA, these are just our initial thoughts and feelings.
What we DO see is physical abuse! I hate to even write that. She is very scarred. Remember I told you that she is terrified of seat belts belts? The reason is because she has been physically restrained, strapped down to a chair. She has big scars around her hips (even scar tissue), and around her ankles. She obviously struggled for hours to get free from the restraints. She is also very afraid of being hit. Yesterday she had a toilet accident on the floor of the bathroom, I came in to find her in the corner, cowering away from me with her hands held up to her face as if I was going to hit her! Oh my goodness, my heart broke.
Haven is delayed, very delayed! She is just like a tiny toddler who cannot do anything for herself. Our first thought is that she shut herself off as a means of coping with all that she has been through. She refused to speak as a means of just dealing with what life dealt her. Her growth is stunted, physically and mentally. We are considering Institutional Autism--a form of Autism in children who live in third world country orphanages--these children withdraw and show all the signs of regular Autism just as a means of dealing with the world. The good news is that it DOES get better with time, intervention services, lots of love and a family.
Yes, we do have a long road ahead with Haven. BUT, we look at her today and are amazed at what God has done already. We went into this with eyes wide open, expecting the worst (but trusting God for the best). We always wondered if the diagnosis in China was accurate. From what our guide told us when we were there, there is no way that any doctor could have accurately diagnosed her--she was terrified and completely non responsive for 45 minutes while they tried to diagnose her. The family needed an official medical diagnosis to get out of the adoption. So, the doctors just went by what the family said because they were not getting anything out of Haven. They just came up with Autism. We just don't think so!
Haven has endured so much in her short life--orphanage abuse, being adopted and then taken back, institutionalism. We think that all these things have left her a delayed, fragile, traumatized little girl. The good news is that it will all start getting better. She has HOPE! She is no longer labeled "mentally ill", she is a child with a bright future ahead of her. Yes, she has many obstacles to overcome, but isn't God just amazing? Does He not hold every day of her life in His hands? We are so blessed. We are so thankful that God said GO...even when it seemed like a ridiculous journey to take. The Father has shown Himself faithful....AGAIN :)
Sorry we have been so quite. Thank you for ALL the e-mails wondering how things are going. A huge thank you to everyone in our community for the outpouring of love we have received--the visits, meals, gifts for Haven and cards have meant more to us than you will ever know. We appreciate it so much. Some day Haven will understand how much she is loved :)
Well, life in the Salem house has been a little on the crazy side. PLEASE continue to pray for Anthony, he is not doing well at all. From what doctors are saying, his shingles has progressed to the worst kind one can get. It is permanent. The pain is excruciating! He is barely able to function normally. Poor guy has been in Minnesota for two days, he comes home today. He is trying various drugs, just to find some relief. He goes back to the doctor today. We are trusting for COMPLETE HEALING! We have some major decisions to make in the next few days, please pray for clarity and wisdom.
Haven is doing great. It is hard to believe she has been with us for only two weeks, it feels like so much longer. Now that a bit of time has passed and she has settled more, we have been able to look at her "condition" more objectively. Let me start at the beginning here---back in August last year when I found an urgent appeal on a Waiting Child site for a family to come forward for this little girl. I called the agency who had her file. They sent me all her pictures, as well as a letter the previous family who adopted her had written. As Anthony and I studied the pictures, something in our hearts stirred, she just did not look Autistic to us. We then called the family who previously adopted her, we wanted to know from them what her symptoms were and how the hospital came to the Autistic diagnosis. The father gave us his perspective on things, he stressed the importance of us knowing what we were getting into, that she was VERY mentally ill! They reversed the adoption out of concern for the other children in their home (two sons). We knew we had to adopt this child. From then on God performed miracle after miracle, providing us with every dollar we needed to bring her home.
Fast forward to adoption day--when we first met Haven she was sitting with the director of the orphanage. As soon as she saw us walk through the door she totally freaked out. After a few minutes she calmed down, she felt safe sitting in the directors arms. She was almost like a floppy rag doll, she would not make eye contact and the director kept lifting her hand to touch me. She obviously would have nothing to do with it. My initial thought when looking at her that day--this child has some retardation!
Here we are two weeks later--some time has passed and we have observed Haven carefully. Autism? We do not see it! Haven has met many people over the last two weeks and every opinion has been the same---nobody sees Autism. Yesterday I had to take Hannah-Claire to the doctor, I took Haven with us. Just from looking at her our doctor said "I do not see Autism, she engages too well!". He confirmed what we had been thinking. Now, I must add that Haven has not had any official diagnosis here in the USA, these are just our initial thoughts and feelings.
What we DO see is physical abuse! I hate to even write that. She is very scarred. Remember I told you that she is terrified of seat belts belts? The reason is because she has been physically restrained, strapped down to a chair. She has big scars around her hips (even scar tissue), and around her ankles. She obviously struggled for hours to get free from the restraints. She is also very afraid of being hit. Yesterday she had a toilet accident on the floor of the bathroom, I came in to find her in the corner, cowering away from me with her hands held up to her face as if I was going to hit her! Oh my goodness, my heart broke.
Haven is delayed, very delayed! She is just like a tiny toddler who cannot do anything for herself. Our first thought is that she shut herself off as a means of coping with all that she has been through. She refused to speak as a means of just dealing with what life dealt her. Her growth is stunted, physically and mentally. We are considering Institutional Autism--a form of Autism in children who live in third world country orphanages--these children withdraw and show all the signs of regular Autism just as a means of dealing with the world. The good news is that it DOES get better with time, intervention services, lots of love and a family.
Yes, we do have a long road ahead with Haven. BUT, we look at her today and are amazed at what God has done already. We went into this with eyes wide open, expecting the worst (but trusting God for the best). We always wondered if the diagnosis in China was accurate. From what our guide told us when we were there, there is no way that any doctor could have accurately diagnosed her--she was terrified and completely non responsive for 45 minutes while they tried to diagnose her. The family needed an official medical diagnosis to get out of the adoption. So, the doctors just went by what the family said because they were not getting anything out of Haven. They just came up with Autism. We just don't think so!
Haven has endured so much in her short life--orphanage abuse, being adopted and then taken back, institutionalism. We think that all these things have left her a delayed, fragile, traumatized little girl. The good news is that it will all start getting better. She has HOPE! She is no longer labeled "mentally ill", she is a child with a bright future ahead of her. Yes, she has many obstacles to overcome, but isn't God just amazing? Does He not hold every day of her life in His hands? We are so blessed. We are so thankful that God said GO...even when it seemed like a ridiculous journey to take. The Father has shown Himself faithful....AGAIN :)
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