November 30, 2008
Monday
On Monday afternoon I have a meeting at the local elementary school. I will be meeting with the Principal, Kindergarten teacher, Speech Therapist and ESL teacher to discuss Haven. We will discuss her needs, the school, and what they can offer to help Haven learn and grow. We are STILL so torn, we do not know what the right thing is for our daughter---to enroll her in school, or to keep her home with me. I am going into this meeting with my heart open to what the Father wants. I know He will lead and guide us---we will either have peace to enroll her full-time, or we won't. Thank you so much for trusting with me that I will have ears to HEAR the Lord's voice tomorrow. As confused as we are about this decision, I am so thankful that we do not serve a God of confusion. I KNOW He will make His will very clear to us.
November 29, 2008
My treasure on this earth
"I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him" 1 Sam 1:27
Oh, the blessings of the Lord. Not in earthy possessions or accumulated wealth. Not in big houses or fancy cars. The things of the world will never satisfy me, I am no longer interested! But the gift of children---that is where my true treasure lies.
Oh, the blessings of the Lord. Not in earthy possessions or accumulated wealth. Not in big houses or fancy cars. The things of the world will never satisfy me, I am no longer interested! But the gift of children---that is where my true treasure lies.
November 27, 2008
Victory
You remember the little girl who was TERRIFIED of our dogs? The little girl who would not even step in the front door when she first met them? The sweet angel who climbed up onto the highest counter tops for days---too afraid to put her foot on the ground in case a friendly canine came near her?
Well, look at her now! It is so easy for us to focus on the LONG road ahead that we have with Haven. Some days we feel like she has so many obstacles to overcome (and she does!). But, we are also constantly looking back, reminding ourselves of how FAR she has come. She takes baby steps, but she IS learning and growing.
These are the victories that we rejoice in daily.
Well, look at her now! It is so easy for us to focus on the LONG road ahead that we have with Haven. Some days we feel like she has so many obstacles to overcome (and she does!). But, we are also constantly looking back, reminding ourselves of how FAR she has come. She takes baby steps, but she IS learning and growing.
These are the victories that we rejoice in daily.
Thankful!
Happy Thanksgiving, precious friends and family! I must say, it is one American holiday that I really love. It makes me pause, reflect and ponder on the things that I am so grateful for in this life.
And---I'm getting better....we have lived in the USA for 4 1/2 years now. The first year my kids asked me "Mom, what is Thanksgiving about?", the only answer I had was "I have no idea, I guess it is just because we need to be thankful!" Duh! The second year I told them it MUST have something to do with turkeys---that was really good! By the third year I was getting really clued up---I knew there were Indians involved. Wow, this year I have it down! I know the whole story, I can actually give my kids an educated answer---praise God for homeschooling, it is the only way I am learning about American History :) I am learning with my kids---sometimes I feel like God is giving me a second chance at "school", my first 12 years there ALL about boys and a great social life---and very little about learning anything at all :)
So much to be thankful for this year. Thanksgiving, for me, is a wonderful reminded to SLOW DOWN, think about things in my life, and give all honor and praise to my Father in heaven. I had a wonderful reminder from a friend this week about the need to slow down, even if just a little :) There is NOTHING slow about my life. From the moment my feet hit the deck in the morning it is BUSY. Yet, there has to be a balance to it all---I am still trying to find it, I must confess.
I am so grateful today, so thankful for a Savior, the ONE who rescued me out of the miry pit and set my feet on solid ground. The ONE who took this sinner and showed me a better way. The ONE who has been so absolutely faithful, and has showed me miracle after miracle---now I have come to expect them!
Even if just for today, I will slow down! I will enjoy the blessings that Father God has given me---my husband, my five beautiful children and the precious friends He has given us in Colorado. Each one of these blessings I prayed for, no, actually pleaded the Lord for. Because of His great love for me, He gave them to me---each and every one. "Ask and you WILL receive", hey? What an amazing privilege to take care of, protect and nurture the BLESSINGS that God has given me. Pure joy!
And---I'm getting better....we have lived in the USA for 4 1/2 years now. The first year my kids asked me "Mom, what is Thanksgiving about?", the only answer I had was "I have no idea, I guess it is just because we need to be thankful!" Duh! The second year I told them it MUST have something to do with turkeys---that was really good! By the third year I was getting really clued up---I knew there were Indians involved. Wow, this year I have it down! I know the whole story, I can actually give my kids an educated answer---praise God for homeschooling, it is the only way I am learning about American History :) I am learning with my kids---sometimes I feel like God is giving me a second chance at "school", my first 12 years there ALL about boys and a great social life---and very little about learning anything at all :)
So much to be thankful for this year. Thanksgiving, for me, is a wonderful reminded to SLOW DOWN, think about things in my life, and give all honor and praise to my Father in heaven. I had a wonderful reminder from a friend this week about the need to slow down, even if just a little :) There is NOTHING slow about my life. From the moment my feet hit the deck in the morning it is BUSY. Yet, there has to be a balance to it all---I am still trying to find it, I must confess.
I am so grateful today, so thankful for a Savior, the ONE who rescued me out of the miry pit and set my feet on solid ground. The ONE who took this sinner and showed me a better way. The ONE who has been so absolutely faithful, and has showed me miracle after miracle---now I have come to expect them!
Even if just for today, I will slow down! I will enjoy the blessings that Father God has given me---my husband, my five beautiful children and the precious friends He has given us in Colorado. Each one of these blessings I prayed for, no, actually pleaded the Lord for. Because of His great love for me, He gave them to me---each and every one. "Ask and you WILL receive", hey? What an amazing privilege to take care of, protect and nurture the BLESSINGS that God has given me. Pure joy!
November 24, 2008
So over it!!!
My goodness, what in the world has happened to TV? I mean really! It seems that it has become impossible for us to turn the TV on and watch something that is wholesome---no bad language, scantily dressed girls or sexual connotations. We have always censored what our kids have watched on TV, we have always been very selective. But it feels like it is becoming increasingly difficult to find ANYTHING that we actually approve of these days.
I remember a few years ago when Survivor first started. It was pretty decent--every bit of bad language was beeped out. Wow, how that has changed. This season is horrible---bad words flying around all over the place. Contestants being so mean and malicious toward each other---to the point where it is not even part of the "game". Our family loves watching American Idol--clean and decent. BUT, every time it is time for a commercial break, we have to change the channel! Does anybody in the entertainment industry care that Idol is a family show? That there should NOT be commercials for some raunchy TV show, or the next best drug for some sexual dysfunction? Prime time television is NOT the place for that stuff. My goodness, it is HORRIBLE! Obviously Hollywood does not care about our childrens innocence.
Mmmm, so we figure we will just let the kids watch cartoons---kids stuff will be so much better. Not! The things on those "kids" shows are just as bad. They are disrespectful and ungodly, they teach kids the opposite of what we are trying to teach them at home. So often we have heard one of our children say something wild that takes us by surprise, when we ask them where they heard it, it is always from some cartoon.
The Salem's have had enough. We're taking control. We have turned our TV off! It will only be used for DVD's which WE choose----things that will not be contrary to the principles we are trying to teach our children. My children do not need to be bombarded with commercials for the latest "got to haves"---the latest toys and electronic devices. They just do not need it while they are still so young---there will be many years of that later in their lives. They do not need to learn to have hearts that are ALWAYS wanting the next-best-thing---instead of learning to be content with what they have.
We will continue to spend our evenings reading together, playing games and just being together. We have so much more fun being together as a family---not having to sit at the edge of our seats, with remote control in hand, waiting for the need to flick the channel to something else before the kids see something that their eyes should not see.
As for Anthony and I---I so clearly remember our pastor preach a message many years ago, it has always stuck with me---he said that if a movie or TV show is not good enough for a child to watch, then why should it be good enough for an adult to watch!
"Your eyes are too pure to look on evil, you cannot tolerate wrong!" Hab 1:13
I remember a few years ago when Survivor first started. It was pretty decent--every bit of bad language was beeped out. Wow, how that has changed. This season is horrible---bad words flying around all over the place. Contestants being so mean and malicious toward each other---to the point where it is not even part of the "game". Our family loves watching American Idol--clean and decent. BUT, every time it is time for a commercial break, we have to change the channel! Does anybody in the entertainment industry care that Idol is a family show? That there should NOT be commercials for some raunchy TV show, or the next best drug for some sexual dysfunction? Prime time television is NOT the place for that stuff. My goodness, it is HORRIBLE! Obviously Hollywood does not care about our childrens innocence.
Mmmm, so we figure we will just let the kids watch cartoons---kids stuff will be so much better. Not! The things on those "kids" shows are just as bad. They are disrespectful and ungodly, they teach kids the opposite of what we are trying to teach them at home. So often we have heard one of our children say something wild that takes us by surprise, when we ask them where they heard it, it is always from some cartoon.
The Salem's have had enough. We're taking control. We have turned our TV off! It will only be used for DVD's which WE choose----things that will not be contrary to the principles we are trying to teach our children. My children do not need to be bombarded with commercials for the latest "got to haves"---the latest toys and electronic devices. They just do not need it while they are still so young---there will be many years of that later in their lives. They do not need to learn to have hearts that are ALWAYS wanting the next-best-thing---instead of learning to be content with what they have.
We will continue to spend our evenings reading together, playing games and just being together. We have so much more fun being together as a family---not having to sit at the edge of our seats, with remote control in hand, waiting for the need to flick the channel to something else before the kids see something that their eyes should not see.
As for Anthony and I---I so clearly remember our pastor preach a message many years ago, it has always stuck with me---he said that if a movie or TV show is not good enough for a child to watch, then why should it be good enough for an adult to watch!
"Your eyes are too pure to look on evil, you cannot tolerate wrong!" Hab 1:13
November 23, 2008
It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas
Last night we were all so excited to put up our Christmas tree. We thought Haven would LOVE it---having never had a real Christmas before. Out came all the decorations, the train that goes around the bottom of the tree, the lights, the music---mmmmm, what more could a little girl want? NOT. She hated it :) She was completely overwhelmed by the whole experience. She had no idea what was going on....poor little angel.
What in the world is going on in my house????
The other kids showed Haven that it was all good!
Even our kitty had fun in one of the empty boxes
The good news is that by this morning she had warmed to the idea of us having a tree with flashing lights in our living room. It was way less intimidating, and actually quite fun. Victory :)
The joys in the journey!
What in the world is going on in my house????
The other kids showed Haven that it was all good!
Even our kitty had fun in one of the empty boxes
The good news is that by this morning she had warmed to the idea of us having a tree with flashing lights in our living room. It was way less intimidating, and actually quite fun. Victory :)
The joys in the journey!
November 20, 2008
My favorite quote of the week
A few posts ago I mentioned a book I had recently read by Kay Warren (she is the wife of Rick Warren--"A purpose Driven Life"). This is what she recently said about the church taking care of orphans...challenging stuff!
"I'm not very much fun at dinner parties anymore. Can you believe it? I don't want to talk about trivialities. I'm so bored with what's happening on "American Idol" and "Dancing With the Stars" and "Next Model," and I'm bored with politics, and I'm bored with all of that. I'm bored with it. It's so meaningless. I want to talk about what is the church going to do about 143 million orphans? I mean, seriously, what is the church going to do?"
"I'm not very much fun at dinner parties anymore. Can you believe it? I don't want to talk about trivialities. I'm so bored with what's happening on "American Idol" and "Dancing With the Stars" and "Next Model," and I'm bored with politics, and I'm bored with all of that. I'm bored with it. It's so meaningless. I want to talk about what is the church going to do about 143 million orphans? I mean, seriously, what is the church going to do?"
So much happening
Anthony and I are in the middle of trying to make some major decisions. Decisions that will affect our future. Everything seems a little crazy right now. I need to be Mary---just to sit at His feet and HEAR! When the craziness of it all weighs on me, I am reminded of one scripture---"Not my will, but YOUR will be done Father". I know this so well...obedience is the key! I know that our future is in His hands, I know that it is not my concern. Obedience is all that really matters in this life.
With ALL my heart I long to be obedient---no matter where it takes me or what He has me do in this life.
With ALL my heart I long to be obedient---no matter where it takes me or what He has me do in this life.
November 18, 2008
Struggling
We have always known that our journey to getting Haven developmentally on target may be a challenging one. We have never tried to convince ourselves that the road will be an easy one. God HAS been amazing--she IS learning and growing daily. Still, many challenges lie before us.
This week Haven attended the homeschool classes that our other children go to. I have been easing her into it over the last few weeks, gradually increasing her time there, as was suggested by the school. Yesterday she stayed for the full 4 hours. She did okay. She is obviously very accustomed to being in a "institutional" environment. However, it is a LOT of stimulation for her, probably a bit of overload. She seemed overwhelmed by it all. She insists on holding the teachers hand if they leave the classroom and is very afraid of the playground--probably because of all the kids going crazy. One teacher found her crying in the bathroom, another found her in tears on the playground. It is all a little intimidating. Put in a nutshell---it is a LOT for this little girl to take in.
What do we do? Again today I was told that if I want more therapy for Haven there is NOTHING that the school can do until she is enrolled as a full-time student (going to school for 7 hours every day of the week). The school is meeting with Haven's homeschool teacher and the therapists who have met her. They are going to try and come up with an intervention plan for her. Our ONLY option is to mainstream her, the school district that we live in does not have Special Ed classes. The only choice we have is to put her in a class of 20 kids. We just do not know if Haven can handle that at this stage. Is what they are offering us the right environment? We feel that the best thing for her would be a very small class, with a lot of one-on-one attention from a teacher. She needs supervision, she is unable to express ANY needs at all. We have to send her to school with a pull-up on, just in case she has an accident--she can't tell anyone when she needs to go potty. She needs someone who will watch over her and take her potty at regular intervals, at least until she feels "safe" to go alone.
Oh goodness, Anthony and I are in a situation tonight---we just do not know what the best thing to do is. If she stays as a part-time student she will only get half an hour of speech therapy every two weeks, that is not enough! If we send her full time, will she cope? Will the teacher be able to meet her needs (along with 19 other kindergartners? There is only one teacher per class). Do we try to move into a better school district--one that is bigger and has more resources for Haven? We just don't have the answers.
Please pray with us that God would show us the way in this. Obviously our hearts desire is to see Haven learning and growing as quickly as possible. But, at the same time, she needs to be nurtured and cared for. I know that there will be an outcome to all of this, and it will be GOOD. We just need to get to that point. Thank you for trusting with us.
Believing we will have ears to hear!
This week Haven attended the homeschool classes that our other children go to. I have been easing her into it over the last few weeks, gradually increasing her time there, as was suggested by the school. Yesterday she stayed for the full 4 hours. She did okay. She is obviously very accustomed to being in a "institutional" environment. However, it is a LOT of stimulation for her, probably a bit of overload. She seemed overwhelmed by it all. She insists on holding the teachers hand if they leave the classroom and is very afraid of the playground--probably because of all the kids going crazy. One teacher found her crying in the bathroom, another found her in tears on the playground. It is all a little intimidating. Put in a nutshell---it is a LOT for this little girl to take in.
What do we do? Again today I was told that if I want more therapy for Haven there is NOTHING that the school can do until she is enrolled as a full-time student (going to school for 7 hours every day of the week). The school is meeting with Haven's homeschool teacher and the therapists who have met her. They are going to try and come up with an intervention plan for her. Our ONLY option is to mainstream her, the school district that we live in does not have Special Ed classes. The only choice we have is to put her in a class of 20 kids. We just do not know if Haven can handle that at this stage. Is what they are offering us the right environment? We feel that the best thing for her would be a very small class, with a lot of one-on-one attention from a teacher. She needs supervision, she is unable to express ANY needs at all. We have to send her to school with a pull-up on, just in case she has an accident--she can't tell anyone when she needs to go potty. She needs someone who will watch over her and take her potty at regular intervals, at least until she feels "safe" to go alone.
Oh goodness, Anthony and I are in a situation tonight---we just do not know what the best thing to do is. If she stays as a part-time student she will only get half an hour of speech therapy every two weeks, that is not enough! If we send her full time, will she cope? Will the teacher be able to meet her needs (along with 19 other kindergartners? There is only one teacher per class). Do we try to move into a better school district--one that is bigger and has more resources for Haven? We just don't have the answers.
Please pray with us that God would show us the way in this. Obviously our hearts desire is to see Haven learning and growing as quickly as possible. But, at the same time, she needs to be nurtured and cared for. I know that there will be an outcome to all of this, and it will be GOOD. We just need to get to that point. Thank you for trusting with us.
Believing we will have ears to hear!
November 15, 2008
A little crazy!
Our sweet neighbors decided "we had better make the most of the weather before the cold sets in"--- so they invited us for a hot dog BBQ. One little problem--- it was 26 degrees outside!!!! (that's 3 degrees for my SA friends and family). To my Southern Hemisphere blood that is RIDICULOUSLY COLD ALREADY :) I guess that once you have lived here in the mountains for several years winter only really sets in once it drops to 10 degrees! Oh my goodness, the Salem's must be becoming Coloradans at heart :) We had such a fun time, huddled around the fire to keep warm. The kids had a blast.
November 13, 2008
National Adoption Month
November is National Adoption Month in the USA. PLEASE....consider sponsoring, fostering or adopting a child--or support a family who is doing it. EVERY child we, as the Body of Christ, help makes a HUGE difference. EVERY child is precious in His sight and deserves the love of a family. My precious friends...let's be the hands and feet of Jesus to a child in need. The need is GREAT!
(Turn off the music at the bottom of the page before watching this)
(Turn off the music at the bottom of the page before watching this)
November 12, 2008
Family time
We were so blessed to have Anthony's cousins come and visit. Every time we see them we seem to have another child :) We had such a great time together--we wish we lived closer. Thanks guys for showering our children with love and hugs! We miss you already.
That's Cade in the back--determined NOT to have his picture taken. The joys!
Leslie-- please hide the "bad hair day pic" from your dear hubby, I'd like to stay in his good books :)
Phew...this family stuff takes hard work and effort!
That's Cade in the back--determined NOT to have his picture taken. The joys!
Leslie-- please hide the "bad hair day pic" from your dear hubby, I'd like to stay in his good books :)
Phew...this family stuff takes hard work and effort!
November 11, 2008
Back to square one
Just when I think I have things all figured out and everything in it's place I discover that I really do need to take JUST one day at a time :).
Last week I posted about Haven attending part-time school with my other kids, and the fact that she was too old to attend kindergarten, as was originally suggested. Well, things have changed again. For the last two days Haven has been spending time with therapists at the school. They have really pooled their resources and ideas....their unanimous advice--Haven will thrive in full time Kindergarten. Yip, we back at the kindergarten suggestion. They ALL feel that no matter what her age, she is tiny (she looks like a kindergartner) and sooooo delayed that they feel there is no reason why the school district should not bend their rules and allow her in. They would advocate on our behalf, if it is what we want for Haven.
Anthony and I are prayerfully considering what the best thing to do is. One concern I do have is that the kindergarten classes are large. I am a little concerned that kids will bully her once they find out that she cannot defend herself. Kids can be mean! I need her to be in a very safe environment where she will be protected and cared for. Hannah-Claire will go with her, but she is just 6 years old, she cannot protect her sister. I looked into the Christian school today as an option--it is completely unaffordable for us AND they do not provide the services Haven requires. Public school is the only place she will receive the intervention services. So....do we just continue with the part-time option, OR do we put her in full time as has been recommended? Full time school would give her access to more services than she is getting in part-time school. Please pray we discern what the right thing to do is. Obviously we only want what is best for her regarding her schooling, but at the same time we need to know that she is going to be well taken care of wherever she ends up. Any emotional trauma would be devastating for her at this point in her life. She is beginning to feel safe and emotionally stable. We cannot take the chance of her regressing in that area, she has gained too much ground.
My heart breaks---every therapist that meets Haven is shocked at how delayed she is for an eight year old. They have never seen a case like hers before. The "Autism" theory gets thrown around a bit--is she or is she not????? I guess that only time will tell. They will monitor her development very carefully--if she learns and grows fairly quickly it will be a great sign. We just don't know what is happening with her mentally. She DOES learn things, it just takes her longer than the average child. She tries hard. Is there something more permanent happening in her brain? We just do not know---but God does, and that's all we need to know at this stage :)
Last week I posted about Haven attending part-time school with my other kids, and the fact that she was too old to attend kindergarten, as was originally suggested. Well, things have changed again. For the last two days Haven has been spending time with therapists at the school. They have really pooled their resources and ideas....their unanimous advice--Haven will thrive in full time Kindergarten. Yip, we back at the kindergarten suggestion. They ALL feel that no matter what her age, she is tiny (she looks like a kindergartner) and sooooo delayed that they feel there is no reason why the school district should not bend their rules and allow her in. They would advocate on our behalf, if it is what we want for Haven.
Anthony and I are prayerfully considering what the best thing to do is. One concern I do have is that the kindergarten classes are large. I am a little concerned that kids will bully her once they find out that she cannot defend herself. Kids can be mean! I need her to be in a very safe environment where she will be protected and cared for. Hannah-Claire will go with her, but she is just 6 years old, she cannot protect her sister. I looked into the Christian school today as an option--it is completely unaffordable for us AND they do not provide the services Haven requires. Public school is the only place she will receive the intervention services. So....do we just continue with the part-time option, OR do we put her in full time as has been recommended? Full time school would give her access to more services than she is getting in part-time school. Please pray we discern what the right thing to do is. Obviously we only want what is best for her regarding her schooling, but at the same time we need to know that she is going to be well taken care of wherever she ends up. Any emotional trauma would be devastating for her at this point in her life. She is beginning to feel safe and emotionally stable. We cannot take the chance of her regressing in that area, she has gained too much ground.
My heart breaks---every therapist that meets Haven is shocked at how delayed she is for an eight year old. They have never seen a case like hers before. The "Autism" theory gets thrown around a bit--is she or is she not????? I guess that only time will tell. They will monitor her development very carefully--if she learns and grows fairly quickly it will be a great sign. We just don't know what is happening with her mentally. She DOES learn things, it just takes her longer than the average child. She tries hard. Is there something more permanent happening in her brain? We just do not know---but God does, and that's all we need to know at this stage :)
November 8, 2008
US!
We were so blessed to receive a $5000 grant towards Haven's adoption from a ministry that assists families who adopt special needs children. Their only requirement was that we send them studio pictures of our family once Haven was home and settled. So, we headed out last weekend to have the photos taken. Yikes...it was quite a thing trying to get five kids to ALL smile at the same time :) They did amazingly well.
A VERY rare photo of just Anthony and I together
This is my favorite picture...it is SO typical of Cade (our youngest)!
A VERY rare photo of just Anthony and I together
This is my favorite picture...it is SO typical of Cade (our youngest)!
November 4, 2008
Our decision made
Well, it seems we have some clear direction regarding Haven and the services that she requires. Yesterday I got a call from the principal of the school---she had been told by the school district that they could NOT enroll Haven in Kindergarten , she is too old. The Principal suggested we put her in either first or second grade. There is no way! She would be completely lost, to say the least. Developmentally she is probably around a 2 or 3 year old child--AND she is dealing with a language barrier. It would be completely overwhelming.
Connor , Kellan and Hannah-Claire attend enrichment classes for homeschoolers at the same school. They go two afternoons a week. Their teacher is wonderful, a Godly lady who loves the Lord. She has been such a blessing. She suggested that she take Haven with my other kids! That way Haven is still eligible for all the intervention services that the school can offer her, even though she is not a full time student. What a blessing--Haven can go to school, be part of the class, be in a safe environment with somebody I really trust,be with her siblings in the class, and she will get regular speech therapy, literacy class and ESL (English as a second language). We decided that it will be best for Haven if I just ease her into the class. So next Monday she will go for an hour, and we will start increasing the time weekly.
What an answer to prayer. She still gets to be with me, gets to go to school part-time and will get a lot of help with the services the school can offer her. I am so grateful. My heart is at peace in it all.
Connor , Kellan and Hannah-Claire attend enrichment classes for homeschoolers at the same school. They go two afternoons a week. Their teacher is wonderful, a Godly lady who loves the Lord. She has been such a blessing. She suggested that she take Haven with my other kids! That way Haven is still eligible for all the intervention services that the school can offer her, even though she is not a full time student. What a blessing--Haven can go to school, be part of the class, be in a safe environment with somebody I really trust,be with her siblings in the class, and she will get regular speech therapy, literacy class and ESL (English as a second language). We decided that it will be best for Haven if I just ease her into the class. So next Monday she will go for an hour, and we will start increasing the time weekly.
What an answer to prayer. She still gets to be with me, gets to go to school part-time and will get a lot of help with the services the school can offer her. I am so grateful. My heart is at peace in it all.
November 2, 2008
Haven update
Thank you so much everyone for your prayers as we seek God on what to do about schooling Haven. Thank you for the wisdom shared with me in the comments. We have taken it all to heart...and to prayer. We have been given some wise counsel from a friend who works with non-verbal children--thanks Sonya :). Anthony and I have spoken about it a lot this weekend. We have decided to walk through the open doors---if and until God closes them. So, this week I am going to set up a meeting at the school with everyone that would be involved in Haven's education. This is not something that we had ever considered, but we know all too well that God very often puts us on another road from the one we started on. If public school is where Haven needs to be for this season, then I know we will have peace in our hearts to put her there...and God will take care of her every need.
Phew, this is such a new journey for us. Some days we feel like we are taking two steps forward and three steps back with Haven. Other days we look back and see all that Haven has learned in such a short period of time, and our hearts are encouraged. There is no doubt in our minds that she DOES have the capacity to learn, there is no retardation or permanent brain dysfunction happening (at least that we can see). She seems to learn new things fairly quickly. She is just SO incredibly delayed.
Over the last couple of weeks we have come to the conclusion that Haven was NEVER given the opportunity to do things for herself. We figured that because of her "needs", the staff at the orphanage probably just completely gave up trying to teach her to do things for herself--it was so much easier to just do it all for her. We are working hard to get her independent with the basics--brushing teeth, washing in the bath, not eating with her hands, changing her clothes, brushing her hair, putting her own shoes on. The things that any eight year old can do in their sleep. She's getting it---slowly, but she is getting it! On the whole she is doing amazingly well in her development.
We have years and years of abuse to undo. There are so many areas she still needs to trust us fully in---she is terrified of being in trouble. If she senses that she has done something wrong (even if she hasn't) she will literally put her hands up to her face--in a self defense position, as if we are going to hit her. She will cower away from us, and even back into a corner. It is absolutely heartbreaking to see. Oh my goodness, if only she knew that she is safe--always! We know that it is going to take time. She is doing so much better now than a month ago. We just shower her with hugs, hugs and more hugs. I guess it is just years and years of coping with what life dealt her. My mommy heart breaks for her.
God has been gracious with us as we are learning to parent this sweet girl. Some days we feel completely uneducated and clueless as to how to meet her needs, but God always provides wisdom. We are learning each day what her needs are, and she is learning how to express them to us in her own way. What a blessing to be able to witness the baby steps that she is taking--the things that she is learning. She is like a little sponge--taking in everything around her. What joy! We are so excited to see what she will become in her life--she is tenacious and brave, a strong little girl with a desire to try anything if given the chance. She is an overcomer! What a blessing to be her mommy :)
Loving doing things with her family
I can wash my hands on my own
Cutlery is so much less messy than eating with my hands :)
Phew, this is such a new journey for us. Some days we feel like we are taking two steps forward and three steps back with Haven. Other days we look back and see all that Haven has learned in such a short period of time, and our hearts are encouraged. There is no doubt in our minds that she DOES have the capacity to learn, there is no retardation or permanent brain dysfunction happening (at least that we can see). She seems to learn new things fairly quickly. She is just SO incredibly delayed.
Over the last couple of weeks we have come to the conclusion that Haven was NEVER given the opportunity to do things for herself. We figured that because of her "needs", the staff at the orphanage probably just completely gave up trying to teach her to do things for herself--it was so much easier to just do it all for her. We are working hard to get her independent with the basics--brushing teeth, washing in the bath, not eating with her hands, changing her clothes, brushing her hair, putting her own shoes on. The things that any eight year old can do in their sleep. She's getting it---slowly, but she is getting it! On the whole she is doing amazingly well in her development.
We have years and years of abuse to undo. There are so many areas she still needs to trust us fully in---she is terrified of being in trouble. If she senses that she has done something wrong (even if she hasn't) she will literally put her hands up to her face--in a self defense position, as if we are going to hit her. She will cower away from us, and even back into a corner. It is absolutely heartbreaking to see. Oh my goodness, if only she knew that she is safe--always! We know that it is going to take time. She is doing so much better now than a month ago. We just shower her with hugs, hugs and more hugs. I guess it is just years and years of coping with what life dealt her. My mommy heart breaks for her.
God has been gracious with us as we are learning to parent this sweet girl. Some days we feel completely uneducated and clueless as to how to meet her needs, but God always provides wisdom. We are learning each day what her needs are, and she is learning how to express them to us in her own way. What a blessing to be able to witness the baby steps that she is taking--the things that she is learning. She is like a little sponge--taking in everything around her. What joy! We are so excited to see what she will become in her life--she is tenacious and brave, a strong little girl with a desire to try anything if given the chance. She is an overcomer! What a blessing to be her mommy :)
Loving doing things with her family
I can wash my hands on my own
Cutlery is so much less messy than eating with my hands :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
