calling all prayer warriors

Okay, mighty prayer warriors, we urgently need your help.

So many of you have e-mailed me asking for an update on our "Kevin".  I am so thankful that many of you have prayed, posted the need on your own blogs and other networks, and told as many people as you possibly can about his desperate need to find a committed family in such a short time.



The good news is that there are two possible families for him.  Praise God. Both love him dearly and want nothing more than to add this young man to their family.

Oh how I wish it could just be that easy.  But unfortunately adoption never is.  There have been obstacle after obstacle for both families. Mountains that stand in their way. Both have their paperwork already in Ch*na for other adoptions, which is a necessity. "Kevin" MUST be legally adopted before he turns 14 in February. 

Both families are trying so hard to make it work so that this boy can be rescued from a life of hopelessless and despair once he is released from the orphanage when he turns 16.

PLEASE pray with us, friends. Please trust that things will move forward and that "Kevin" will have a family who loves him so.  These two families are the only ones who have fought to try and make this happen. They are his last chance at having a family he can call his own--an opportunity to have a real name (not just the same orphanage name given to every child), an identity of his own, and a place to call home--the things we all take for granted.

There are only 10 days left for a family to make a commitment to him.  Just ten days.  After that his time is up.  He will age out (turn 14) and no longer be adoptable.

I must say that my heart is never far from him these days.  At 13 years of age he knows all too well that the stakes are high--and that the days are ticking by one by one.  Can you just imagine wondering if someone cares enough to come?  If someone is willing to take a huge leap of faith just for him?  Will there be someone who will give him a chance in this life?  Oh my.  It breaks my heart in two.

Some have asked me what the deal is?  Why am I advocating for this particular child?  Why the urgency to get this guy adopted?  It's true, there are so very many orphans who need loving homes (and dang it, I wish I could do more for each and every one of them). Some of them are just harder to place in families than others. "Kevin" has three things against him.  First, he is a teenager (most people want to adopt children as young as possible).  Next, he is Hepatitis B positive (people are afraid of it).  And lastly, he is a boy--which makes things even more difficult. When you take all those things into consideration, he is a VERY hard to place child.  Sadly, there are not many families willing to take a chance on someone like him.

As many of you know, I am so burdened for children who are harder to find homes for.  They are the ones who's faces I see when I lie awake in the wee hours of the morning. That's why I advocate for "the least of these" when God lays them on my heart--children like Julia, Wade, and Yuri.  I feel desperate for them because we know from first hand experience that there is hope for every child.  Yet so few are willing to give them a chance. I believe that every child deserves a chance--an opportunity to learn and grow and become all that God has created them to be--no matter how old they are, what sex they are, or what is "wrong" with them.  That is why I felt led to advocate for this sweet boy.  He deserves a chance...just like any other child.  He has been overlooked too many times.

Please continue to pray for him. Two potential families--both needing a miracle to make the adoption happen.  God bless them for trying to make it work.

I believe with all my heart that there is NOTHING my God cannot do. 

I believe in miracles in 2011.  I do.

I believe that my God IS the same yesterday, today, and forevermore.

I believe that there is power in prayer.

I believe that the enemy IS defeated when the body of Christ unites to pray.

I believe that God loves to show His glory in impossible situations. 

I believe.  And I know so many of you do too.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for believing with us for a miracle for sweet "Kevin".

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." 

 Ephesians 3:19-21

she ain't heavy, she's my sister

So I get heaps of emails asking me a similar question.  It goes something like this...

"We would love to adopt a child but are concerned about how it will affect our biological children."

Or

"We have four biological children.  We have fallen in love with an eight-year-old boy who we would love to add to our family, but it will be an out-of-birth-order adoption."

Or

"We're concerned about how adopting a child who has profound special needs will impact our family."

Or.

"I am so afraid for my other children. What if our decision to adopt a child destroys our family?"

These are all very legitimate questions; questions that we too wrestled with.

So I thought I would share my experience with my own family with you all.  I know this subject is one every parent has to deal with when we feel called to adoption.  It is huge.  As parents of biological children we will all do anything we possibly can to protect them.  We would never intentionally do anything to cause our children harm.  And, we will do anything to protect the peace in our homes.  That's just what parents do.

As I begin to share my heart and our own experiences with you, please know this--that I am sharing from my OWN life, my OWN family, and our OWN experiences.  What I share here is based on our own journey in the Lord.  I realize full well that not every adoption is the same.  Not every family is the same.  There are times when things do go very wrong with adoption.  I have friends who have had to fight to keep their families together when an adoption has turned things upside down.  There are absolutely times when things do not go as we have prayed they would.  Adoption is not for the faint of heart.

Again, this is OUR testimony.

I so clearly remember when we felt led to adopt our first child.  We had three healthy biological boys.  Life was wonderful.  Yet we knew that there was a missing piece.  To cut a very long story short, we felt the call to open our hearts and home to a child who would not be a baby and who would have a special need.  It was unchartered territory for us.  We were clueless.

One day the call came.

"Mr. and Mrs. Salem, we have a little girl who we would like for you to consider.  She is nearly three years old and lives with a foster family in China.  Oh, and...she is Hepatitis B positive.  We really need you to do a lot of research about her special need so that you can make the best decision for your family about whether to proceed with the adoption."

Goodness, it was such an exciting call to get.  Kind of like when the lines show up positive on a pregnancy test.  Super amazing.  We were thrilled. 

But...

What the heck is Hepatitis B?  A virus?  Is it contagious?  And what about our other kids?  Wouldn't it just be easier to adopt a healthy infant?  How would she fit into our family?  So many people advised us to keep the current birth order--yet this was definitely not that.  The thought of bringing any harm upon my boys made me feel sick to my stomach.  Yikes. 

It was such a new journey for us.  And so we did the only thing we knew to do.  We prayed and asked the Lord to direct our steps.

And He did.



Hannah-Claire has been such an enormous blessing to our family.  That birth order thing?  It really didn't matter in our case.  She was our child, no matter where she fitted in the birth order.  God just took care of all the details.  The fact that she was not the youngest child didn't matter one single bit.

God used our first adoption to plant the seed for what was to come in the future--three more adoptions in eighteen months. 

Our biological boys have handled every addition to our family like true champions.  They have welcomed them and loved them unconditionally.  They have truly amazed me.  Every fear that I ever had about adopting children and how it may affect them is nothing but a very distant memory.  Connor, Kellan, and Cade have exceeded my expectations. 

That is not to say that we have not had a few bumps in the road.  I remember when we brought Haven home in 2008.  Cade was our baby at four years old.  Haven, however, even at eight years old, was so much younger developmentally than he was.  It was like we adopted a toddler. Cade dealt with having another "baby" in the house by becoming just like his sister.  He went for a period of about two weeks where he refused to speak at all (Haven is completely non-verbal).  Instead, he would make the baby sounds that Haven made and let us know what he wanted by pointing. 

Of course the novelty soon wore off.  He soon realized that he could get a lot more by using his words.  He caved pretty quickly. 

After seeking wise counsel we learned that it is so normal for some siblings to deal in different ways with new children added to a family.  The thing they reminded us about was that [for the most part] it never lasts very long at all.  Just as some children adjust to having a brand new biological baby in the home, so some deal with adopted siblings.  It's just life.  We have been so blessed though.  Our children have astounded us in the way they have opened their hearts to their new sisters. 



With each adoption we have gone out of our way to shower our children already in the home with much love and affection. We would hate for them to feel left out. As far as we know, thankfully, none of them ever has.

What about special needs?  How does that affect our boys?

It has been a blessing for them.  In every way imaginable.

Unfortunately, we live in a world gone crazy.  A society consumed with "me, me, me."  We live in a time where many people live for themselves, and forget about the needs of others outside of their four walls.  Sad.  We don't want that for our children.  We want them to know that pursuing the American Dream is a bunch of nonsense!  Pursuing Jesus Christ and the things He calls us to do is the only thing that brings satisfaction in this life.  It is a tough lesson to teach in this country--even more so as we head into 2011.

Our children who have special needs are a gift to our boys.  Yes, a gift!  These girls have taught my boys more about life and what truly matters more than any book, any wise cousel, or any conference could have taught them.  In our home is where they are learing the heart of God.

I think that these days the word "sacrifice" is becoming a bad word.  Not many people even know what it means to live a life of sacrifice--one where we can say with all our hearts that, "it is NOT about me."  We don't want to give sacrificially.  We don't like giving of our time, or our money.  We make every excuse about why we should not do something--instead of finding every reason why we should--simply because God said so!  I cannot think of a better place for my children to learn about the "one anothers" of the Bible than right here in our home.  Love one another.  Love one another.  Love one another some more.  If they cannot get it right here, how will they ever get it right when they leave our nest?

Adoption is teaching these beautiful boys of ours so many things...

They are learning how to give (even when they do feel like it). 

They are learning to serve (even when they feel lazy).

They are learning to love unconditionally (even if the love never comes back to them). 

They are learning that God is BIG in our lives.

Learning what it means to be patient with those who struggle in life.

They are learning that every child matters to God--and should matter to us too.

They are learning to see ABILITY, not disability.

They are learning to share what they have (sharing a bedroom has a way of teaching them that lesson).

They are learning what it means to put the needs of someone else before their own.

Yeah, they're learning alright.



I truly am so proud of my boys.  I am proud of the way that they have embraced our calling as a family.  Naturally as we have grown in size, changes and sacrifices have had to be made--not just by Anthony and I, but by our children too.  Fancy vacations, brand new clothes, trips to restaurants, the next latest toy or gadget--they have all had to take a backseat with our larger-than-average family.  We have had to cut back and scale down in many areas.  But you know--they don't complain. They get it.  They get why we do what we do. God has done an amazing work in their sweet little hearts as we, as a family, have chased after the command to care for orphans with reckless abandon.

I believe with all my heart that God is more than able to take care of every little detail for those who feel called to grow their family through adoption--including the hearts of our biological children.  I don't for a single second believe that when we are obedient to answer the call to care for orphans that God abandons us in it.  That is not to say that things are always smooth sailing and hunky dory.  Oh no. The trials DO come.  Following the will of God is never an easy ride.  Whether it be adoption, missions, taking care of a sick loved one, feeding the poor, giving of our time and energy into something that is tiring and draining.  It is never easy.  But nor was it ever meant to be.  Facing trials with the Almighty God is what draws us nearer to Him, to that place where our faith is strengthened and cannot be shaken.

God is amazing in our obedience.  Oh how He loves the fatherless passionately.  And yes, He adores our biological children too...and He will take care of them when we bring His orphans home.

And so the road may be long, with many a winding turn, that leads us to who knows where...
but she ain't heavy, she's my sister. So on we go.

growing families through adoption

"What about our biological children?  How will adoption affect them?"

It's one of the questions I get asked a lot here on my blog. 

I'll share my heart with you later.

life as usual

~~~  Goodness gracious--my family got blessed this Christmas.  "Mom, this is the best Christmas ever!"  Yup, it sure was.  The body of Christ blows me away. Our hearts are overflowing with gratitude.  Our cup positively runneth over.



~~~  Christmas with Hailee and Harper was unbelievably magical.  They had no idea what all the fuss was about. Oh how we cherish these two little angels.  Like all our children, they are such beautiful gifts to us.  I cannot imagine life without them in it.

~~~  It's been snowing.  A lot.  But miraculously, for a summer lovin' girl like me, I'm actually okay with it this year.  Miracles never cease I tell you.

~~~  We have this week off homeschool.  Yipeee.  Mommy is loving the break--and so are the kids.  A few slower days are wonderful.

~~~ I am so excited about 2011. I have a heart of expectation. New adventures. New challenges. New opportunities to serve the Almighty Father with everything that is within us. We're ready. Bring it on!

~~~  The Schwenzers got new pics of Julia today.  Oh my word...what a little sweetheart. I cannot wait for the day that she is in their arms.  Please continue to pray for her as she waits for her parents to get to her. Pray that the symptoms of her Cockayne Syndrome would not be affecting her.  So many of you have played a role in her miraculous rescue.  Please pray her all the way home.  Every day is a gift for the few who suffer from Cockayne Syndrome.

~~~  Loving these whom I have been given.

"Hellooooo...anybody in there?"



~~~  Please keep praying for "Kevin".  He almost has a family.  But, as adoption goes, there are a few obstacles that stand in the way of an amazing family getting to him on time.  Please trust with us that every mountain that stands before them will be moved, in the name of Jesus.  So easy for God to do. I just know that He will do it.  Why?  Because He loves the fatherless passionately.  It's as simple as that.

Be blessed in all you do.

she thinks...

That Christmas is the best day ever!



I couldn't agree more, little darlin'.

We hope you've had a beautiful day too, friends.

from our family...to yours

Merry Christmas!

these legs are made for walking

Oh my goodness, I just have to brag on our littlest bundle of absolute love.  There are no words to describe how proud we are of our teeny, tiny, little angel.

The treasure who, just a few short months ago, never knew that legs are there to take you places.  They only knew a life couped up in an awful crib.



These legs never knew that standing could be so much fun.

But things are changing, friends.

She still has such a long way to go before she is walking independently.



But oh how Hailee is trying.  Hard.

When we adopted her just 7 months ago, I honestly never knew what to expect from her.

At five years old, she only weighed 15 pounds.  She could hardly even sit up alone.  I wondered when she would ever have enough strength to stand on her legs.

Now, at 5 years and 7 months, weighing 21 pounds....I am amazed at all she is becoming, and how far she has come.  I weep just thinking about it.

I can honestly tell you that this girl has totally exceeded my expectations.  She has blown me away with all that she has accomplished in such a short time. 



Just look at her now!

Exploring.  Learning new things every day.  Trying with all her heart.



Never giving up.  Ever.  I learn so much from my sweet daughter. 

Who needs hands to hold me.....



When I can do it all on my own!

My mommy and daddy think that I am just so clever.



Our little miracle girl.

There truly is HOPE for every single child!

Keep growing, keep learning, and keep trying sweetheart.

We are so very, very proud of you.

How thankful we are this Christmas that you are here with us--right where you belong.

With a heart overflowing with the blessings of the Lord.

time is running out...please help!

Twenty days is all this handsome young man has left to find his forever family. 

Just. Twenty. Days.

And then--he will never have the opportunity to be adopted again.

Oh my heart.  I cannot stand the thought.

Look how sweet he is....



I cannot even imagine being in his situation.  Seeing countless "little kids" leave the orphanage with their mom and dad and wondering, wondering, wondering, if his turn will ever come.

Sadly for this young man, time is about to run out.  He has waited for such a long time on waiting child lists--but no one has ever said "Yes" to him.  Can you imagine being passed over so many times?

Absolutely heartbreaking for any young person.

According to the agency that has his file, apart from a history of Hep B (just like our girls--very easy special need) he is healthy, smart, and a great thirteen year old kid.

Goodness, I just know that his family is out there somewhere.  I know someone will go.  Why?  Because I believe with all my heart that there is a family for every child who waits.  They just have not found him yet.

Unfortunately, there's a catch...

He absolutely must be adopted before his fourteenth birthday in February.  That means that his family MUST already have a dossier in Ch*na.  They must be in the process of adopting another child from this country and are willing to add this boy to their adoption.  Or, their dossier is in country and they are waiting on a referral.

One of my favorite lines from the movie, "Faith Like Potatoes" is when Angus Buchan says, "The condition for a miracle is difficulty, however the condition for a great miracle is not difficulty, but impossibility."

God loves to show His glory through seemingly impossible situations.

It's time to stand a trust the Father for a GREAT MIRACLE for this sweet guy.  As time ticks by and things become more and more impossible, I ask myself again, "Is anything impossible for the Lord God Almighty?"

I know the answer all too well.  So do many of you.

Nothing is impossible!  Nothing at all.  Not even this. 

Please, friends, can you help us to spread the word about this young man?  Post him everywhere you possibly can in the hope that his mom and dad will find him soon--before it is too late.  Once he turns fourteen he will be considered unavailable for adoption.  He will never know what it feels like to be loved and treasured by parents.  He will remain in the orphanage until he is sixteen...and then...well, who knows?  It is the sad reality of any orphan who ages out of the system.  Hopelessness.

Twenty days...that's all we have to get the word out there on the internet.  Will you please help?  Will you pray with us for the GREAT MIRACLE that he so desperately needs this Christmas?  Will you help to spread the word wherever you can?

I so appreciate your help.  You guys totally rock.

Let's give him the best Christmas present ever...a family!

If anyone wants more details, hit "contact" on the navigation bar and I'll put you in touch with the right people.

acitivity sets and such

It's Christmas week.  What a glorious time of year.  The only thing missing is my family overseas.  That part never gets easier.

We're being purposeful in our home.  Choosing to set our thoughts on the things that matter.  That truly matter!  It's a hard truth to get in children's hearts when you live in a country like this--where Christmas is all about having to get the next latest and greatest gadget or toy.  We're talking a lot about the ONE who came in a manger.  He matters.

Anthony fired up our one hundred year old wooden stove to see if it would actually work.

Voila!  We had fire.  And it was wonderfully cozy.

Yes, we're still struggling to get Hailee's hair to grow at the back of her head.  Five years of banging her head on a crib have left her with a big bump back there--and very little hair.  Like most things with our little lovie, it just takes time.



Thank you for the many questions I get asking me exactly how Hailee is doing, and how she is developing.  I plan on doing a detailed post about how things are going with our sweetheart in the new year.  The one question I get asked a lot is, "Autism?" 

I'll share our journey with you soon.

In the meantime...yes, she is doing amazingly well.  Winter cheeks and all.

What a priceless treasure she is to our family.



Christmas just would not be Christmas without the annual cookie bake. 

So very sweet.  Way too much sugar.  But hey...it's Christmas and there are beautiful memories just waiting to be made.  I'll live with the sugar high for a while.  They love it--and that's what's important.





The gingerbread man.  Perfectly sculptured with love and care by the hands of its little creator.  Perfectly imperfect.  Just like me. Fearfully and wonderfully made...with more flaws and imperfections than I care to even think about...yet so perfect to my Creator.

Oh how He loves us.  Perfectly imperfect.



Some princesses prefer to sit and observe [and eat the fruit of her siblings labor].  Getting our hands messy is just so overrated.



We have a rising Wii champion in our home.  Well, sort of.  She thinks she has it all figured out.  Of course we tell her what an absolute star she truly is...and how there is nothing in the world that she cannot do.  We know she believes us.

Go Harpy!  Keep living your life with gusto.  We cannot wait to see what amazing opportunities Jesus is going to give you to shine.  Keep rocking, baby girl.



And finally we did it.  The drive around town looking at the Christmas lights.  Oh my word!  No one in the world does it quite like the Americans.  The time and effort that people put into decorating their homes never ceases to amaze me.  I appreciate that they do it for people to enjoy.  It's fun for the kids to see.  I'm even more thankful that there are people willing to do it so that we don't have too. 

But the best part of the evening was when our delightful eight year old daughter declared in a loud voice that her most favorite part of the evening was the "activity set!"

Ummm, yes, I guess we're not spending enough time on that baby in the manger navity thing.  Fail! 



The kitchen is still a mess from the cookie bake, the laundry pile is sky high, the beds aren't made, some kids are still in their pj's, the house is messy...but who cares?  It's Christmas.  Today we'll savor our moments together and make beautiful memories for our children to keep forever.  Everything else can wait.

Have a very blessed Christmas week, friends. 

Praise God the baby was born.

a heart full of praise

What a beautiful day today has been.  My heart is full of praise, for the Lord has answered a prayer--a cry of my heart.

When I shared my heart on this post, I must confess that I had some serious doubts that anyone would go and rescue the children I left behind in Hailee's room.  It was one of those times where the situation seemed impossible.  It almost felt hopeless.

But God...

Is anything too difficult for the Almighty Father?  Seriously.

Is there anything that He cannot do?

Oh my goodness.  Sometimes my faith is so puny.

Today Yuri and Bodhi met their mommy and daddy.

Look...

Today two boys who were without any hope at all, felt the love of a parent's embrace for the very first time.

Today two little boys' lives are about to change forever! 

Today my heart is so very thankful.

How adorable are they?

I am rejoicing--and I know so many of you are too.  Many of you have followed along as the Winkles have made their way to their boys.  I know they are so thankful for the many prayers.

Nothing is impossible!

Do you know that seven children are being adopted from our daughters' orphanage?  All of the children have special needs.  Children who so desperately need to get out of there.  Tom and Patty are returning to Ukraine soon to bring their angel home. The Winkles, the Schwenzers, and now the Hinz family, friends of the Schwenzers, are also adopting two precious little boys from the same orphanage. How amazing is that?  One of their little boys, Nikita, was actually Harper's roommate.

I'm sure the caretakers there are going to wonder what on earth is happening.  Why are all these people coming to take the 'least of these'?  Ha! God happened.

I love it. 

Thank you to my friend, Jeannett, at liferearranged for reposting what I wrote back in June regarding the urgency of getting orphans OUT of orphanages and INTO loving families. 

For all of you who have a heart for adoption (and I know many of you do), please, I beg you, continue to use your blogs, Facebooks, Twitters, and your voices to advocate for children.  Sometimes we feel like the orphan crisis is so overwhelming and that there is not much that we can do to make a difference.  But every little bit we do helps to let people know that there are beautiful treasures out there just waiting to be found. 

We are the only voices they have.  When we're silent, they die.

There truly is no one else like our God.

With a heart overflowing with praise.

learning as I go

I never used to be the kind of mom I am turning out to be.  I have been one big work in progress.

When my first son was born I was an OCD kinda mother.  Everything had to be perfect.  We tried the babwise stuff (because everyone told us it was the way to raise the perfect kid), had a meticulously clean baby at all times, baby food in a jar was a no-no, gave my poor mother a list from here to kingdom come of what NOT to do with my bundle of joy every time he spent the night at her house, always had a neat home, never allowed my baby to sleep in our bed, maintained a boot camp routine, and read every parenting book known to man.  I liked perfection. 

Yup--I had the mothering thing all figured out.  Or so I thought.

But something has happened as the years have ticked by. 

God blessed us with our second child.  And our third.  And forth.  And fifth.  And then in His amazingness He gave us a double blessing of two at one time.

Over the years I have changed, as we all do.  Anthony and I realized very quickly that we were so not the babywise kind of parents.  While it works fabulously for many parents I know, it ended up being more of stress than a blessing for us.  We tossed the idea pretty quickly and learned to follow our gut instincts when it comes to raising our children. We began looking to the Word of God for every instruction that we required, and to parenting books less.  Don't get me wrong, I have read some incredible parenting books that have been so beneficial in giving us tools to raise our children, but they are not the be-all-and-end-all.  God gave us everything we need to navigate life and to parent in His Word.

With all that being said, I did have to chuckle at the some of the comments on my last post with Harper covered in candy cane.  You see, there was absolutely a time in my life when seeing her such a sticky mess would have sent me into a cleaning mode frenzy. Think a mother on a major caffeine rush. The little lovie would have been bathed and scrubbed down in a flash to remove all stickiness. All dirty clothes would have been pre-soaked to ensure that every stain was efficiently removed. And every candy cane within her reach would have been lifted to higher ground to prevent a repeat occurrence.

That was then.

But this is now. 

Instead of switching into high gear to clean--I reach for the camera to capture the memory. 

Instead of rushing to fix the messiness before my eyes--I allow her to savor every bite of her prized piece of candy stolen from her brother.  And then I clean up.

My priorities certainly have changed.   

God has really had to do a work in my heart over the years.  My perfectionist ways have had to go out of the window.  My desire to always have a neat home have had to be put on the back burner in this season of having quite a few small children.  Any attempts to wear make-up every day and have perfect hair are now just a big whatever to me.  Mommy sweats are working out just fine for me on most days.  My kids don't care about what I look like. They love me just the way I am. 

Mothering is something that I have had to get in my heart.  I have had to learn how to be a mom, and not just do the mothering thing.  It is easy for me to rush around planning meals, cooking them, keep the house relatively decent, make sure that my kids are clothed and have their physical needs taken care of.  That's the easy part of being "Mom" for me.  I like being organized and having all my ducks in a row.  It's very natural and easy for me to get my kids clean in a wink when they end up a sugary mess.  But being a mother, well, that part I have had to learn, with the gentle guidance of the Lord.  Allowing my children to get sticky and messy (and know that the clean up can wait) and actually enjoying moments like these has taken me years. I have had learn to love more, snuggle more, be less distracted by things that really don't matter...and stress less about things that can wait.

I want to allow my children to be children.  I want them to create amazing memories of their years in our home.  I never want them to look back and remember that mom was uptight about her fancy possessions being broken or expensive clothes being ruined by a spill. Those things just don't matter to me anymore. They have zero importance in the bigger picture. I want my children to jump in puddles, play in the mud, slide down sand dunes and get dirty, go barefoot as often as possible, and just be children for as long as they possibly can.  I don't want them to grow up too quickly.

And so when precious little Harper gets covered in slobbery candy from head to toe, or when she finds a bag of flour in the pantry and accidentally drops it on the floor, or when she picks up a marker and makes pretty designs all over her chubby little hands...whatever!  It will all [eventually] get taken care of.  The mess will get cleaned up.     

Learning to laugh more, love passionately, live purposefully...and not sweat the small stuff. Sometimes I get it right--others I fail miserably.

Learning to savor the sweet moments when they happen...even when they are messy, sticky, and dirty.

Because eighteen years fly by way too quickly, and I don't want to miss out on a single thing.

who can resist?

This thing that they call "Christmas" around here is going to work out pretty darn fine for me.

Yes, indeed.

You see, I'm three years old.

And I'm just so stinkin' cute.  I know it's true because they tell me all the time.



I'm curious.

Smart.

Chunky (which makes me extra adorable).

And I'm delightful in every way imaginable.



But one thing you don't know about me yet...

Is that I love, love, love sugar.

I'm a girl after my moms own heart. 

Candy cane.  Candy corn.  Ice cream.  Cake. 

SUGAR!



And I have this most amazing ability to find the sugary stuff all over the place. 

Especially now.  It's Christmas!  I quickly discovered that they hang these yummy things on that silly tree in the house.

Yep--I told you I'm smart.  I'm a fast learner...especially if it involves sugar.



And then I discovered that one of my dear brothers left one lying around.  Ha!  He should have known better.

Because I'll find it!  I have a sugar radar.

I like to see it as making up for my sugar deprived years in the orphanage.



Thank goodness he is so forgiving.

Shhhhh...don't tell him I know...but I pretty much have this dude wrapped around my chubby little finger. He thinks I'm awesome.  He just laughs when I steal his candy.

Dude rocks!

And I love him too.

Can't you tell?



This Christmas thing is really working out very well for me so far.  I think I'll keep it.

What's a few extra calories, anyway?

Loving this place called "home" right now.

All my love,
Harper (but I'm known as Harpy)

a "bone" to pick

Anthony shares a word on his heart (based on his own journey) for men.

~~~~~~~

The American Christian man is dying. In John Eldredge’s Wild At Heart, he writes that “in the heart of every man is a desperate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.”

I’ve got my beauty. Done. Picking the battle to fight and discovering the adventure to live has been a slower process (and less fun!). But I’m getting there.

This morning I shared in a small church how I think I’m not alone when I say that Christians are not “fighting the good fight” but are caught up with “coping with the wrong fight.” And unless, man of God, you’re a professional troubleshooter for a company, you don’t do well just “coping.” You not only need the right fight and adventure, you WANT it; you crave it; and you’ll go to the grave with a huge regret if you realize you didn’t fight it.

I don’t want that. Being a hospice chaplain for three years confirmed that in me. I have heard too many death-bed stories of regret. It’s no longer okay for me to have a career only. It’s no longer satisfying to provide for my family alone. I hate it when I realize that any money that comes my way has to go to fixing my car (which broke down again today). I despise the thought that more money each month goes toward paying a mortgage and health insurance and STUFF than most cities in the world receive in a year!

Again, I’ll quote William Wallace from the film Braveheart when his Scotsmen were lined up, facing a sea of English soldiers on a battlefield, and one of his men asked him where he was going—“I’m a goin’ to pick a fight.”

Well, I’M a goin’ to pick a fight, but it’s with the demons in my head. It’s with the smelly imps that tell me that God is not the source of my sustenance, I am. Therefore, I never have enough to make any difference at all in this world. Never enough to bless anyone. Never enough to leave our borders and learn how 95% of unsaved humanity lives. Never enough to literally save the life of an orphan child. The little devils have told me to tell the More-Than-Enough God that there’s never enough.

What a slap in an all-powerful God’s face! What awful pride. What a need I have for repentance.

Man of God, rise up. Don’t die, but live! Your fight and adventure are before you. Rise up, as the Lord spoke to Ezekiel when we saw a valley full of dry bones. God told Ezekiel to prophesy to them until they get flesh and tendons and life. Later in chapter 37 He tells him, “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them.”

Who will get flesh on their bones, pick up their sword, and truly put the kingdom of God first? Unsaved multitudes, orphans, widows, prisoners, the poor, the sick. Where have you been, man of God? More importantly, where are you going?

The true leader of a household does not put food on the table. God does that. He does not pay the bills. God does that. He does not put his children through college. God does that (if He wants to). Oh, we don't sit on a couch all day and play the Wii.  But the ultimate securer of our household when we do our part is a loving Father.  If not, then who keeps us off the streets?  The One who promises us in Psalm 37:25, "I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread."  This should free us up to be that true leader who is obedient to rescue those who need God and who need you.

I leave you with James 4:13-17, a passage every man should learn by heart:

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

friday musings

~~~  Pondering: The will of God will not take you where the grace of God cannot keep you.

~~~  95% Christmas shopping done!  I rallied big time yesterday.

~~~  Humbled, oh, so very humbled, by the generosity of God's people.  There are no words.

~~~  More healthy food changes being made in our family.  We have to take responsibility for what we feed our bodies.

~~~  When we read books like Radical and Crazy Love (and many others), our hearts are changed.  Conviction comes in so many ways.  But what do we do with that conviction?  Do we carry on with the status quo? Or do we literally DO something?  I'm convinced that God requires action.  Obedience can be scary though.  Are we truly willing to go anywhere and do anything God whispers to our hearts?  Do we even understand reckless faith?  I have such a long way to go.

~~~  Making a meal for those who refuse to give us the time of day and who choose to look in the opposite direction when we're near.  They even ignore our littlest one when he says hello to them.  What a lesson for our children to get the second greatest commandment in their hearts.  Love your neighbor as yourself.  Even when they refuse to love us back.

~~~  Thank you for all the wonderful advice for Harper's endless colds.  I appreciate it and will heed the awesome advice!

~~~  The thought of lying on the beach on a warm summer day sounds so wonderful today.  My Raynaud's is back with the recent drop in temperatures.  Such a pest.

~~~  My adorable little niece is turning two soon.  I have not seen her since she was 4 months old. I miss her something awful.

~~~ Praying for the many, many families who have stepped out in faith to adopt children. May God provide every dollar they need.

~~~  Seeking God with everything that is within us.  "Speak, Lord,  for your servant is listening."  1 Samuel 3:9

~~~  God is good.  All the time.

~~~  Loving beautiful almond eyes that follow me everywhere I go.

[almost] wordless wednesday

Those the LORD has rescued will return. They will enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them,
and sorrow and sighing will flee away.  

Isaiah 35:10

life as usual

~~~  This week marks the four-year anniversary of my mom going to be with Jesus.  I cannot believe that four years have passed already.  In so many ways it feels like just yesterday that I traveled to South Africa with my four young children to spend her last days with her.  I shared my journey here last year.  There are so many things I would do so differently if my mom were still alive today.  Looking back, I wish I had loved more unconditionally, hugged a little tighter, and been more accepting of imperfections.  It's amazing what we learn through loss.

~~~  I've never been a mom to an eight-year-old daughter before.  But now I am.  Hannah-Claire is all girl.  Oh my word...do ALL girls talk a lot?  I mean a LOT?  How is it even possible to change the subject ten times in all of thirty seconds?  Oh, and I wonder if I too asked 213 totally random questions in just one day?  The joys of raising girls. 

~~~  I have been working on updating the fundraising page on the right-hand sidebar.  If you are one of the many people who have emailed me your family details, hang tight.  I hope to be done by the end of the weekend.  It is so amazing to see just how many families are fundraising to bring their children home.  Go God!

~~~  Speaking of adoption--do you all remember Wade (now Bohdan) and Yuri?  I know many of you are following the Winkles family to their boys.  If not, you need to head over to their blog and follow along.  They are leaving in just a few days to go and bring their sweet sons home!  How amazing is that?  Two more children from Hailee's room will know the love of a mommy, a daddy, and two brothers.  Two boys, drugged their entire lives and without any hope have been CHOSEN!  I cannot even tell you what that does to my heart.  I can hardly wait to follow along and see their journey unfold.  Gosh, I fell in love with these two boys while I was there.  To know that they are coming home is just the best Christmas gift ever.

~~~  Also, have you heard that Julia (who has my name for her middle name {smile}) will have a brother coming home with her?  It's true. The Schwenzer family has recently committed to bringing home another child with Julia.  A gorgeous little boy who has CP.  He is an angel and his name is Aaron.  We're rejoicing at all that God has done for both of these families.  Please continue to pray for them as they bring their children home.  Adopting children from one of the "laying rooms" like Hailee was in is never an easy journey.  Any adoption has many uncertainties, but these children have been dealt an awful hand in life.  They are fragile and weak, and there is no way of knowing what kind of condition they will be in when their parents get there.  I know they would appreciate your prayers so very much. 

~~~  Girly girl mommy--you're the winner of the Christmas giveaway!  Contact me asap so that we can get your gift to you.  Fun.

~~~  I drew two winners for the Radical giveaway--but only one person got back to me.  Don't people want their free stuff?  So, with the help of random.org, I drew another winner.  You won,  Healy family.  Get in touch with me when you have a minute.  Unless you're on vacation with the last party who didn't get back to me.

~~~  Harper is still feeling yucky.  My poor baby love.  It seems that she is just going to be one of those who struggle in the winter months.  She cannot shake her miserable cold.  No infection, thank goodness. Any ideas how to naturally help very congested lungs?  I'd love to hear.  Today my friend said that a vaporizer in her bedroom might help.  Have any of you had success with that?  This is kind of new to me.  My other kids are so healthy and get over colds super fast.  But not Harper.  She really struggles.

~~~  Christmas shopping starts on Thursday.  I know, better late than never.  I'm one of those moms who runs around on Christmas Eve grabbing what's left on the shelves.  Dork!  I can't do the online shopping thing.  Every time that poor UPS man comes to my door with a package around Christmas time, my kids go into a frenzy.  Think piranhas at dinner time!  I avoid the pandemonium by keeping Mr. UPS away from my front door, thank you very much.  Smart mom.

We're putting Christ back into Christmas.  Are you?

life in the fast lane

It sure has been a busy weekend for our family.

We worked.  Socialized.  Played.  Snuggled.  Loved.  Ate.

And when it all got too much...we napped.  The masterpiece being created with chalk just had to wait.

Every princess needs her beauty sleep. 



We had beautiful fellowship with many we love.

A gorgeous new baby in our circle of friends to love and cuddle.  Newborns are just so yummy.

To-do lists got forgotten about.  Again. Family time always wins.

Precious moments in the park.



Too much good food.

Snuggling to watch movies together on chilly nights.

Just a sprinkling of snow to show God's splendor.

Bundling up more to keep the sudden chill out.



Learning to keep our hats on, when we really just want to take them off.



Learning to love...and love...and love some more.

And savor the season of apple cider, eggnog and candy canes on the tree (that somehow never remain on the tree).



Whew, all this family stuff sure is a lot of hard work for our sleeping beauty. 



A beautiful new week awaits. 

Enjoying the gifts, the joys, the cherished moments, and the wonders of God that each and every new day brings.

How blessed I am.

when the rubber hits the road

Regardless of our beliefs, our age, or our stage in life, there is a time when it happens to all of us.  A time when things get serious.  A pivotal moment.  A time when we have to cling--to hang on with all our might, come what may.

Time when the rubber hits the road.  When our faith, and everything we hold onto, is tested.

Financial hardships, a struggling marriage, wayward children, a season of unemployment which seems to last forever, lack of finances for an adoption, a terrible health diagnosis, on and on and on.  None of us is immune.  Even for those of us who follow Christ with all our hearts...the rubber must hit the road (frequently).  Times when we must hang on for dear life. Times when all of a sudden the journey becomes a wild and uncertain ride...and our faith is tested time and again. We're told in God's Word that the trials will come our way--in fact we're commanded to even "consider it pure joy" in the first chapter of James.  Goodness gracious, and then it says that our trials will be many!

Oh dear.  Not very encouraging at all, huh?  Especially during times when we're so deep down in the doldrums and life is not making any sense at all.  I've been there so many times in my life.

Yet "Consider it pure joy."

Even when we cannot see the end of the dark tunnel. 

Even when we wonder how in the world we will pay the next bills. 

Even when relationships are strained and reconciliation seems impossible.

Even when the cancer remains.

Even when the savings account has run dry.

"Consider it pure joy!"

Not a little bit of joy.  Not some token amount of joy.  No...pure [perfect, real, total, true] joy!

Geez, but I struggle with that pure joy thing.  I really do.  Truth be told, I fail miserably at it.  For most of my life I have faced trials with fear, trepidation, grumbling, being a control freak by trying to handle things in my own way (as opposed to trusting my God who is more than able, and really does not need my help), and many sleepless nights.  In my Bible you'll probably find that "pure joy" part neatly erased with whiteout (just kidding, of course).  Facing tough circumstances with joy in my heart does not come naturally.  I totally stink at it.  Sometimes a self-inflicted pity party of note just makes me feel so much better in a yucky situation.  Woe is me, woe is me.

Ugh.

But God is teaching me, friends. Like many others, we've faced our fair share of trials in the last six months.  We have been stretched and challenged--and stretched and challenged some more.  We have, once again, reached that point where the rubber hits the road big time. Where we have to cling with everything that is within us onto the ONE who is our Deliverer.

It's so easy to trust God and sing His praises when times are hunky-dory, isn't it?  He's just the best ever when He comes through for us in amazing and astounding ways.  He's wonderful when our prayers are answered quickly and a victory comes sooner than we think.  And He has all our adoration when life is marvelous in every way. 

But what about when the opposite is true?  What about those times when our Father in heaven is silent--and we're down here longing for answers?  What about the times when every prayer that we plead seems to be falling on deaf ears?  What about the times when healing never comes and jobs seem impossible to find?  Or when a marriage seems to be falling apart and restoration seems unattainable?  Or how about when our answer from heaven is no?

That, my friends, is where the rubber hits the road.  Where things get serious--where our faith in the Living God gets critical.  When we must cling with all our might--even if we're hanging on by our fingernails.

I have this awful tendency.  It's something that the Lord is weeding out of me--but I'm certainly not there yet.  I tend to be like the Israelites.  I look back!  God has set my path, I have to go forward in order to reach the destination.  But dang it, I keep looking behind me.  I look back to when times were [perhaps] easier and more comfortable.  I think about past places, past people, and past experiences.  I keep one foot in the past, and one foot in the present.  Yuck.  God never told us to live in the past, in fact in Isaiah Chapter 43 God commands His people to "FORGET the former things, DO NOT dwell on the past."  It's as clear as daylight.

I am a work in progress.  I am clay in the hands of my Potter.  Some days I get it right, others I fall down and have to get back up again. 

But one thing I am sure of is that when the rubber does hit the road in our lives, when the going gets tough and things get serious, when our faith is tested from every angle--the Lord is right there to see us through to the other side.  Just as He did for the Israelites and countless others in the Bible. God always delivers His people.  Always.  The seasons of adversity never remain.  Before we know it they are nothing but a distant memory.  And the Almighty God once again shows us His faithfulness.

"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him."  James 1:12

We MUST go through the valley in order to reach the mountain top.

Learning to cling!

a Christmas giveaway

A few weeks ago I arrived home to a package which was waiting for me at my front door. 

"Mom, it's for you, " the kids said.

I knew I hadn't ordered anything, so I was clueless about what was in the box. 

Oh my goodness.  Remember the sweet little tea kettle I said I loved here?  My dear friend, Kristin, ordered it from CSN stores and sent it to me.  So kind. A beautiful blessing that I did not expect.

I absolutely love it.  It's an adorable little addition to my kitchen. 

Now it's your opportunity to be blessed.  Just in time for Christmas.

Would one of you also love one of these?  Or how about one of CSN's fabulous variety of TV tables?  Or a cute new handbag?  Or perhaps a new toy for your kids this Christmas?

The wonderful folks over at CSN stores have offered to bless one of you with a gift card to their online stores.  They have over 200 stores where you are sure to find a lovely little something for yourself, or someone you love this Christmas. 

Here are a few of the things on my wish list this year...

(Hubby: Take note)

Aahhhh, I absolutely love quilts.  It is something I have never owned, but always wanted.  This one is so pretty.

My diaper bag literally burst at the seams with all the stuff I carry around with two kids in diapers. I love this one--feminine and not too diaper bag-ish. Meaning, it doesn't scream, "I'm a diaper bag!"  Vera Bradley meets diaper bag.  Cute.

A personalized magnetic chalk board.  Way too cool. I'll take seven.

What about you?  What's on your wish list this year?

CSN Stores is giving away a $45 gift card to one of you.  All you have to do is leave any comment and you will be entered.  You have until midnight this Friday to enter.

Comment away.