all work and no play

Means the kids have to come up with their own entertainment!

So, what do they do when mommy and daddy have spent the last five days working non-stop on the house, getting it ready to put on the market? And, it has rained pretty much non-stop for a week.

Well...

One of them loves games that sing and make noise. This is one of Haven's favorite. She loves music and definitely has natural rhythm.





This boy is completely crazy obsessed with Bionicles. He knows every single piece that he owns--and he's been collecting them for the last few years, so he has a whole lot of it.





Little love here is learning his abc's.





We have an artist in the family. He can paint and draw for hours.





And when the abc's get a little boring--find a few trash bags, tie them around your neck and pretend you can fly!





Or, find every single blanket in the house and make forts. Stock them up with snacks, drinks, flashlights and a few toys and there's your entertainment for hours.





It has totally been all work and no play around here. We are working our tails off to get our house on the market. Painting (and more and more painting), re-decorating and moving things around, clearing out closets and throwing junk out, raking pine needles, etc. We hope to have it on the market this weekend. Trusting God for a buyer in a horrible property market. Can He do it? Absolutely!


And just to make sure that life is never boring, we have appointments--heaps of them! Poor Haven--she is up to her eyeballs in doctors, certainly not her favorite thing. We are at the point now where we pull up in front of anything that even resembles a hospital or doctors office and she knows. Poor baby, she is so terrified of anyone that remotely resembles medical personnel. Holy moley, next week is huge--she has a bone age scan, a CAT scan and an EEG all on the same day. Good heavens, that is going to be a thing for her. I even asked if she could just be put to sleep and have it ALL done at the same time. But no, she has to be conscious for the EEG. Bummer.


All the test results will take several weeks to come in. Hopefully though, they will give us some indication as to why Haven has such profound delays and has never spoken. We'll see. Whatever the outcome--it's all good, because I know my God is in control. I will praise Him no matter what the future holds for Haven. She is a treasure, just the way she is...fearfully and wonderfully made.


Here are my angels. Sweet sisters--oh how these two love and adore each other. Hannah-Claire (on the right) has naturally assumed the role as big sister (even though she is two years younger). She just loves to mother Haven. I think she totally forgets that she is the little sister here. Haven is so much tinier.





Heck, I realized how totally spoiled I am. Our internet was on the blink. For goodness sakes, how did I ever live without it? Seriously. No e-mails from those I love? No blogging? I think I'll keep it.

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Thank you, precious friends, all for the amazing homeschool advice you all shared. I am going to look into every bit of information posted. Reading the comments, it seems that other friends are also going to glean from the information you shared. Thank you so much for taking the time to bless us with your knowledge and experience. I appreciate each one of you.

I need advice!

Calling all homeschool moms. I seriously need some advice here. This year I chose the wrong curriculum! It was a complete disaster from day one. When mom hates it--the kids do too. We just could not get into it, but buying something else was not really an option either. So we plodded along and did what we could. Needless to say, we never quite finished. Oh well.


So here I am trying to figure out the new school year. I am in research mode--trying to find the best curriculum that will work for us. There is an overwhelming amount of choice out there. This is where you come in. Could you recommend some great homeschool curriculum? What have you used that has worked for your family? What do your kids love? What do you love?


I need something that is...

~~ Affordable.

~~ Social Studies, science, history etc. that I can possibly teach more than one grade at a time--maybe a unit study, or something like it. I am flexible on this though.

~~ Not too much preparation.

~~ Christ-centered.


Any advice you can give me will be so appreciated. This will be our fifth year homeschooling and I still have not found the perfect 'fit' for our family.

how sad

“Right now, we’re seeing atheism on such a rise,” said David Silverman, vice president and national spokesman of American Atheists, a group dedicated to fighting for the civil rights of atheists.

“We are seeing Christianity on such a dramatic decline that we’re not particularly worried about it. We’re thinking that this kind of old-style George W. Bush Republicanism is about to go away,” Silverman said, referring to the latest Pew Forum survey of American religious life, which showed nonreligious Americans as the fastest-growing group.


Non religious groups are the fastest growing groups in the USA? Good heavens, what in the world is going on? What happened to the great commission? Have we forgotten? I just don't know, but it sure does break my heart.


Ever thought of being a missionary in your own country? What a desperate need.

Thankful Thursday

Having a thankful heart really is a decision, isn't it? It is so easy for me to fall into a pit of despair and self pity, one of ungratefulness and a sucky attitude. Ug! Today I am choosing to be thankful--for He has been good to me.


~~ Woohoo--I am so thankful that Kris won AI! A Godly role model for the next generation, that is what this country so desperately needs. Praying that he will be bold about His faith and that God would use him mightily.


~~ I am thankful that winter does eventually come to an end. How I love Spring and the newness that it brings. It is a stunning time of year.


~~ I am thankful for great health and bundles of energy to keep up with my five blessings.


~~ The abundant provision of God never ceases to amaze me.


~~ I am to thankful that God already knows the outcome of the sale of our house. It is all in His hands.


~~ Friends who are so faithful. A gift to me from the heart of the Father.


~~ Healthy food to nourish my family.


~~ A church where we can worship the living God freely.


~~ I am thankful that my hubby has a stable job. We are never without!


~~ For the still, small voice of our loving Father to lead and guide us every step of the way on this journey called life.

~~ For missionaries.

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Thank you, precious friends, for the many notes and e-mails I have received after I shared about Haven and the road ahead. I am so grateful for the amazing support and the outpouring of love for our sweet daughter. Please know that it means the world to me, I am so grateful. What a joy to know that we never walk alone--the Body of Christ is such a beautiful thing.

Not My Bloggy Self

When I set out on this blogging adventure, I never intended for it to be a place where I only journalled about all the great and amazing things God had done in our lives (and there are many). My heart was never for it to be a place where I could never be honest and show my weaknesses and flaws. On the contrary, I wanted it to be a place where I could be vulnerable and real, a place where I could be truthful about the journey God has me on. I know, as you do, that the Christian walk is, very often, tough. There are days when we are weak, there are times when we have to dig so deep in our faith that it takes every bit of strength and courage we have.

One thing I really do love about blog-world is that we get to carry one another's burdens. We get to wear our hearts on our sleeves and allow others to pray for us. It is an amazing community--and community is really what we all need. I love that blogging and following the journey of friends, both new and old, gives me such an amazing opportunity to pray.

So, here I am--being real! The last two weeks have been hard, I just feel burdened. I am not my bloggy self that loves to blog about my family, my journey in the Lord and my everyday life. I am burdened! The thing is, I don't really know why.

Maybe it is because I miss having family around--I hate the fact that my children are growing up with absolutely no extended family to spend special times with. Growing up, my holidays were always spent with extended family, and because of those special times, I am very close to those family members today. My children are missing out on that, and it breaks my heart. I need His grace.

Maybe it is because my heart is so broken for the 144 million orphans who wait for a mommy and daddy to come and get them. I long to do more. I need His wisdom.

Maybe it is because there is a stirring in the hearts of many that Jesus is coming back soon! That is a wonderful thing. Except, I have so many friends and family who not not know Him. Will they ever proclaim the name of Jesus? I need fast and pray!

Maybe it is because we spent such a precious time with a homeless couple last Sunday. A guy and a girl just 20 years old. A beautiful couple. My heart broke for them--these two kids are someone's children! Somewhere was a mother and a father who loved them. Where were their parents? Did they wonder where their children were? Were they concerned about them? The time we spent with them was sweet. I was reminded of the fact that someday my children will have to walk their own road, they will have to make their own choices. Oh how I long for them to stay on the narrow road, the one that leads to LIFE! I need to intercede daily for the lives of my sweet blessings. I need Him to teach me how to be a courageous parent.

Maybe it is because we have to sell our house. If there is one thing I truly dislike doing, it is selling our homes. It is humanly impossible to keep a house with five small kids and three pets neat and tidy all the time. I need His grace in this season.

Maybe it is because I have so many friends with needs, desperate needs. I long to see the Father give each one of these friends the miracle they so long for. But I can't. The most I can do is pray, which I know is enough. It just hurts to see so many going through tough times. I need Him to constantly remind me to pray.

Maybe it is because our school year is done. And I have absolutely no idea what to do when the new one begins in August. I do not know where Haven is going to learn and grow. I need Him to lead and guide me.

Maybe it is because my heart is grieving that statistically church attendance is down! How can that be? Why have so many turned their backs on Jesus? Why is church giving even down? Why are so many churches struggling to make ends meet--all because God's people are either not in church or are reigning in on their giving? We should be giving our way out of our financial hardships. Don't people know that they can never outgive the Almighty? Give, give, and give some more. It's all His money anyway. I need Him to teach us how to be wise stewards with what He has given us.

In my weakness, He is strong. He is more than able to take care of every burden and every concern that I have, I know that full well. He is my faithful Jesus, the One who is faithful and true. We live in a fallen world, an imperfect world. There will always be things that cause me to feel weak, circumstances that are so completely out of my control.

Oh how I need Him, the only ONE who is steadfast in a world gone crazy.

Sharing My Memories

I have been meaning to post a few more pics of our trip to South Africa, but time has kind of run away from me.


Here goes--a few memories of our quick trip to Africa....


How wonderful it was to experience the sights, sounds and smells of the land of my birth.




Family! Oh how I miss them. My brother and I with my aunt and uncle on my mom's side of my family.





I may not have a mom (she went to be with Jesus two years ago), but I am blessed with two Dad's. My brother, Brett, with Dad and Beth.





Dad and Sylvia.





We spent time at the beach. I know that my dear South African friends living abroad will agree with me on this one thing--there is nothing quite like the beaches in South Africa. They are breathtakingly beautiful.




The feel of sand between our toes after a l-o-n-g winter in the mountains--bliss!





We walked along the pier at one of Port Elizabeth's most popular swimming beaches.





The boys played in the sand on a warm day.





When it got a little hot--they loved a swim in the ocean.





We were blessed to see a school of over a hundred dolphins swimming by.





The dolphins--so close to the shore.





We loved doing all these things, but most of all--we adored just being with our new niece and cousin.

The boys cuddled...





And cuddled some more...





And when we were done cuddling sweet baby, we goofed around with the ones we love.





As I told my precious friend yesterday (the one who so generously blessed us with tickets to visit my family), seeing my family, being in my hometown and seeing friends was just absolutely perfect. But, for me, the greatest blessing of all is the memory that my two boys will have for the rest of their lives--the time when they got to go alone with mom for just a few short days to visit their family. I know the sweet memory of it will live with them forever. That, to me, is priceless.

Long and Winding Road

Most of you know our story of how we adopted Haven, but for those of you who are new readers of my blog, you can read it here. It will give you an understanding of her background.


What an amazing road this is turning out to be--one with many twists and turns. If ever I thought (and I did) that diagnosing Haven would be relatively simple, how wrong I was! Having been blessed with four children who hardly ever even visit a doctor, I am the first to admit that all this medical stuff is so completely over my head. Is there a dummy's guide to all things medical???


Yesterday we spent a couple of hours with Haven's therapists, working toward a diagnosis. You may remember that for the last few weeks she has been assessed by different professionals. Haven and I got to spend some time with a children's doctor who is a specialist in the area of children with developmental delays. Wow! Talk about insightful.


Dr S. knew exactly what he was looking for when he examined a seriously traumatized Haven. Oh how she hates anything that even resembles a doctor. The first thing he looked at was the palm of her hand. This is a picture of what her palm looks like...the Simian crease.





We had never noticed it before, but she only has one crease on her palm. Most of us have three. The doctor took one look at it and said he wanted her chromosomes tested for Trisomy 21--also known as Down Syndrome. Huh? She does not look like a DS child. But, some of you may know there is a form of DS called Mosaic Down Syndrome. The children tend to be higher functioning than the regular DS kiddos. And, they often do not have the characteristic facial features that are common with regular DS.


Why had that never even been on the radar as a possible cause of Haven's delays? I have no idea. This is the first doctor who has ever even looked at Haven's palm.


In a nutshell, here are some of the other the things we are looking at--

~~ At this stage it is impossible to come up with any 'official' diagnosis. There are still too many unknowns.

~~ She is going to have an MRI to determine what her brain actually looks like.

~~ She will have an EEG to determine if there is any seizure activity.

~~ She needs to have a CAT scan done.

~~ A swallow study will determine if she is able to swallow properly. She takes an hour to eat most meals, and breaks her food into the tiniest morsels.

~~ Chromosome testing to test for Down Syndrome.

~~ Genetic testing.

~~ Heaps and heaps of blood work.

~~ A CPK (I forget what that is called) test to test muscle disease. She is not even on the growth chart. She is tiny and very short for her age.

~~ Testing to determine her true age. (She was abandoned as a baby and her birth date is made up)

~~ Thyroid testing.

~~ She needs aggressive speech and occupational therapy.

~~ A hearing test.

~~ There is talk of giving her growth hormones. (Not too sure how I feel about THAT one. We'll see.)


Ummm, I think that is most of it. I may as well just move our beds into the doctors office and make that home for the next few months :)


Not one of the doctors even consider Autism as a possibility. How in the world did China ever come up with that? (From the first time we ever saw Haven's photo we knew in our hearts that it was an incorrect diagnosis, possibly just a way for the previous family to get out of an already finalized adoption). RAD is not really an option either.


The main concern right now is Haven's development. Just as we are, they are concerned about why she makes absolutely no attempt at speaking, and is extremely inactive in general. Every doctor was deeply concerned at just how delayed she actually is. Her motor development is almost at a 4 year old level, and everything else is at a 1 year old level. She is so far behind.


The question is--is there permanent damage in her brain that has caused all this delay, or is it something that can be overcome with medication and therapy. The only way for us to know the answer to that is to do ALL the testing. An MRI should answer a lot about what is happening in her brain.


Here's something interesting we learned. The first three years of a child's life are crucial in their development. If a child has not been loved on, cuddled, paid attention to etc, a part of their brain actually shuts down and does not develop. That part of the brain that is lost can never be regained. It is gone. The child will grow up with less brain function than they would have had if they had been nurtured. My heart breaks--how many thousands and thousands of children in third world country orphanages are left with permanent brain damage due to this kind of neglect?


Some may wonder why we would ever go to all this trouble to get Haven diagnosed. Well, we need to know. We need to know if she needs medication, what kind of therapy is going to help her, what kind of learning environment is going to be best for her to learn and grow. We need to understand where she is at mentally, if there is more permanent damage in her brain, knowing about it will greatly assist us in parenting her. It will assist us in having realistic expectations of her as she grows. Although we hate 'labeling' children and would never put Haven in any 'box', there are some things that we just need to understand, for her sake, and for ours.


So, forward we go! As of today we are setting up appointments and taking all the necessary steps to find out what is going on in our sweet daughter. We are so thankful that God already knows. We are so thankful He already has His hand on the outcome of all this. I am so humbled and so blessed that He trusts us with His child. As so many of you commented on my earlier post, Haven is His, just on loan to us. I pray that we would hear His voice as we parent her, that we would know every step we need to take.


We are calling on the HEALER to breathe LIFE into all those places in Haven's brain that need a touch from Him. Can He do it? Absolutely! I believe it with all my heart.


(If you got to the end of reading all this--I am seriously impressed :) )

no answers

Sometimes there just are no answers this side of heaven. I found out today that teeny, tiny little Kayleigh has gone to be with Jesus. My heart aches for her family. I really thought she was going to make it--I guess she did, just not here on earth.


Please remember her family in your prayers. What a journey the last eleven months have been for them.


He gives and takes away. Blessed be His name!

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Thank you all for your sweet words of encouragement as I shared my heart yesterday. Each one has been been so encouraging to my heart. I could almost feel you all sitting right beside me sharing your hearts and prayers with me. It is such a joy to know that I never journey alone--but that I am surrounded by an army of mighty woman, ready to take every prayer request I have before the throne of heaven. I am truly blessed to have each one of you in my life.


Thank you, woman of a Faithful God.


So much to share on Haven's diagnosis appointment today.....tomorrow.

Fighting Discouragement

Isn't it amazing how we humans just adjust. When God throws something new at us, we adjust, with His help. When our circumstances change, we adjust and get on with it. We have an amazing ability to adjust to 'new normals'.


So it has been with Haven. We have adjusted. Pretty well, actually.


But, can I be real with you?


After a few days away from home, I am discouraged. I guess that life with Haven was just 'normal' before I left. I rarely thought twice about her inability to speak. Or her extreme delays. It was just life as usual around here. But something happened in my heart when I came home last week. I was, once again, so aware of where Haven is in her [lack of] development--something I had kind of swept under the rug for the last couple of months.


As we head toward our 8 month anniversary of adopting Haven, we had absolutely believed in our hearts that she would at least be saying simple words by now, not sentences, just words. Every therapist and doctor we have seen has echoed the same thing, "Haven will naturally learn to speak just by being in a family". But truthfully, there is nothing. Not a single word comes out of her mouth.


I am all of a sudden so aware of it all again. Her extreme delays and lack of even trying to verbalize things. Unless prompted many times, she will not even try. She lives in a world of silence, a world where she can express no needs or desires.


Haven certainly has made some progress, and for that I am thankful. Yes, she does try to put her clothes on by herself and she does try to brush her own teeth. But, the reality of it is that she very often gets it all wrong too. She can do the same thing twenty times, and then get it wrong again. Simple things that any eight and a half year old can do in their sleep, are a huge mission for her.


I am just feeling discouraged. Will she ever speak? Will she ever try to speak? Will she ever be on a par with her age group developmentally? I just don't know. We had so hoped that we would see more progress at this stage. But we are not.


Unfair expectations? Maybe. No, most probably.


We have no idea what goes on in her brain. Absolutely no idea. We are facing many decisions right now about therapy, intervention services and school involvement. What is going to be the best for Haven? Where is she going to start learning and growing. We just don't know and need wisdom from the Holy Spirit. We need His guidance in this.


In my heart I know that if Haven never progresses, if she never reaches the milestones she should, we will be just fine with it. No matter what the outcome of all this, I know the Father will enable us to parent her and love her unconditionally, which He already has. For now, though, for her and for us, I just prayed for so much more than what I see.


I am so human, so imperfect. I know the right thing to do is to walk by faith, not by sight. But, for today, my faith in this area feels so low.


Thank you, precious friends, for listening as I share my heart.


I am just fighting discouragement.

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Tomorrow we have meetings with the therapists who have been diagnosing Haven. Hopefully we will get some answers to our questions.

What Do I Miss The Most?

So, you may wonder--what exactly do I miss the most about living in South Africa? Well, obviously there are family and friends. Even as time passes, it never gets easier living away from the ones I love.


But, there is one other thing I miss a tad whole darn lot.


Oh my goodness, do I miss this!


I take three days to clean my house--and then I start all over again. They clean it from top to bottom in a couple of hours.


They watch the kids. Best Babysitters!


They pack the groceries away.


They clean the windows.


They dust everything at least once a week.


They clean the floors daily (!).


They do the laundry (plus ironing) every day.


They pack your closets and make sure they are always neat and tidy.


At the end of the day, they pick up a thousand toys lying around the house.


They cook meals.


They become part of your family.


Yes, it is one of those things that I really miss about living in my country.


Who are these amazing people?







MAIDS!


They love on your babies at a wedding.





They love and cuddle, and love and cuddle, and then...when the baby gets passed on to someone else...





They party! What would a wedding be without some dancing--African style?








Only in Africa!


Heck--what in the world am I doing living in the USA?


Oh yes, GOD!


Best I go and pack away six loads of laundry lying on the living room floor ;)

Home From Africa

Home! There is no place like it. I am so sorry I was not able to post while in South Africa. Internet access was limited and so ridiculously expensive.

Traveling over 25 000 miles in 10 days (which included 4 days of flying and waiting in airports) was just crazy. I'm tired!

How wonderful it is to be home.

The boys and I had the time of our lives. Spending time with family in South Africa was pure joy. My brothers wedding was so much fun. My new niece is the cutest little thing ever. The beach was stunning. The weather divine. The friends I have there are treasures from heaven. Yes, I am blessed.

I will share more pics over the next few days. For now, here are some memories of my brothers special day. I cannot tell you how special it was to be able to share the day with him and my most amazing sister-in-law.

The bride and her girls. The colors were black, red and white. I found that sweet little dress on E-Bay for Holly (my niece). It was so perfect for the day--she looked completely adorable.

Sue (left), Colleen and me (right)






The boys! They partied until they could party no more.




So much fun. The little ushers in their outfits (missing the vests which they abandoned at the first given opportunity).




There is something about family. No matter how long you are apart, the bond is always there. What a joy it was for me to spend time with family that I have not seen for 8 years. Where does time go? The only thing that changed was that we all got a wee bit older.



The bride and groom. How I love these two! My brother could not have chosen a more perfect wife. I am so blessed to call this special woman my sister-in-law.




Family!




I have so many memories to share. There are no words to describe how grateful I am to special friends who blessed us with this trip. The blessing was not just for me and my boys, but also for so many other friends and family who got to spend time with us. Living on the other side of the world is tough--but my God always makes a way for me to see the ones I love.

Doesn't He just care so much about the things we care about?