There are times when the answer we get from heaven is so not the one we were hoping to get.
Today has been one of those days for me.
Oh how desperately we were praying for a waiver on the ten day waiting period after court here in the Ukraine.
We prayed. Many others prayed.
Still....the judge said no way!
He will not waiver it.
Today has been one of those days. The kind when I know without any doubt that my God is in control. The kind when I am reminded all day long that nothing takes my God by surprise...and neither did this. He allowed it to happen. The process to complete Hailee and Harper's adoption is going to take longer.
And I HAVE to be okay with that. I cannot doubt my God. I cannot doubt the fact that I KNOW nothing gets to me without first passing through the hands of my Almighty Father.
He is in control. He knows and understands things that I cannot see in the flesh.
The whole adoption process is already taking longer than we anticipated. Things are moving incredibly slowly in this region. Today we faced further obstacles that I wondered if we would find a way around--but we did. I have yet to even be given a court date. Today I was told maybe next week, or even the week after.
There is no way I will be home before May. And so we're trying to make some tough decisions, me and my dear hubby. Do I stay here after court and wait things out, or do I go home for a short while and then return.
It's a heartbreaking decision. We're moving in May--there is so much that needs to be done at home. My family misses me. But I have two angels here too. Oh my heart. I feel so terribly torn tonight. We're praying for clear direction from the Father. I know He'll show us the way.
I just know He will. He is so good to me. Even when I don't understand...He is GOOD.
One sweet bundle of love came to me with shoes on today. The caretakers made her look all pretty for Mommy. She hated the shoes, they lasted all of five minutes before they ended up in her mouth.
This little love had a good time with me today. She seemed more alert, and less tired than she has been. Perhaps she is feeling more comfortable with me now. She is a teeny, tiny, bundle of pure joy.
Oh my goodness, she loves to giggle. She thinks the silliest things are too funny. Melts my heart.
I cannot wait to put some pink on this girl. She is always dressed in blue and green.
That bump on her little head--it will go away soon. She bangs her head on the crib, probably out of boredom, or frustration. How I adore this precious angel girl.
Haper has a cold. Poor little lovey. Her eyes are watery and her nose runny.
But that sure does not stop the little koala bear from wrapping herself around any available neck. Tatianna (my facilitator) loved the cuddles. Can't you tell?
And when Tatianna had had her cuddles, sister was next in line for some Harper love.
She can't help herself, she just has to be a cuddle bug.
Our pretty little girl. She is such a gift to our family.
Even with a cold she is completely edible.
She loves so smile. And when she does, I just can't help but smile with her.
Yes, my heart is torn in two tonight, friends. Tough decisions need to be made in the next day or so.
Sometimes things just do not go as we had planned...but the Lord Jesus is still alive and well and more than able to see us through. My Dad reminded me to look back and remind myself how incredible God has been on this adoption journey. He is so right. I can truly look forward with hope in my heart, knowing that He has not abandoned us, and will see things through to completion.
This is a journey that continues to stretch my faith and force me to press into my God with everything that is within me.
He does ALL THINGS well!
Thank you for journeying with me, sweet friends. Your love and encouragement has truly meant the absolute world to me. Your comments touch my heart so deeply, each one is so special and treasured. I am so grateful.
58 sweet thoughts from friends:
Oh Adeye! While I obviously have not been where you are...I know what it is like to cry out to the Father for something and have the answer be no. I know what it is like when the answer doesn't seem to make sense...when the answer is hard to accept and where it would be so easy to just have myself a pity party or a temper tantrum than to WORSHIP Him. You know Him well Adeye. It is obvious by your speech. You know your Abba...you trust Him even when you don't understand...even if you don't like the answer. I am praying He will clearly give you peace about whether to stay or go. He is faithful and He will do it. Your girls are getting more beautiful by the day :)
love you,
Holly
Oh Adeye, this has to be so hard on you. What a tough decision... WIshing you lots of wisdom and strength to decide the right thing for you, the girls and the rest of the family!
By the way, Hailee looks so much more relaxed to me than she did in the pictures of the first days! It seems like she is soming out of her shell little by little. Is that the case? Harper looks lovely as ever :)
Caroline
(P.S. so strange that I don't know you and you don't know me, and still I follow your journey with so much interest, and feel the need to comment all the time :)
I saw the picture of Hailee before I read your update and my first thought was "She is looking so much more alert" and you confirmed that! It is amazing what God's love through a mother can do!
I just laugh at Harper hugging and loving her sister...how precious!
Now, precious woman of God...take a deep breath and remember that when you are weak He is strong...rest in His strength.
I can't help but think that as long as you are there, the girls are receiving more careful treatment, since the staff know you will be there daily. I, too, would feel so torn about leaving them. I pray that God's peace "garrison around your heart and mind" as you make these decisions! Whatever you decide, very soon you will all be home together!!
Your sister in Him,
Shelley
You will be directed by God, that is for sure. May I still share my opinion though? I believe you should stay with Harper and Hailee. Yes, you miss your family and they miss you too. But your husband is with the children, as is your father and Beth. They are loved, they are OK. They will manage without you, and then how sweet it will be once you come home with your newest daughters! Harper and Hailee need you there with them. Now that you have showed them love, they need you there!
And they are such sweet sweet girls - and your words draw me such a real picture that I can almost touch it! You describe things so well that I feel like I'm there with you. I'm so happy that you share this precious journey with us all!
Hang in there! You have come this far! I remember our adoption and the length and trials we had, God has a plan, there is a reason, a definite reason why you are in country for longer. Keep your eyes on above and remember that in the end they come home with you and your family will always remember the sacrifice you made to bring them home! Covering your journey in prayer
Adeye, you have no idea how many people's lives you are touching by sharing your journey. Your love for these angels is nothing short of beautiful and amazing. Reading your blog posts is honestly the highlight of my days. Please, please keep them coming, even afer you are home with these treasures. Who knows how many more of these treasures will get adopted simply by God using your willingness to share this journey with others? This has definitly touched my heart and so many others' hearts.
hugs and prayers and love,
Tara
I'm so glad to journey with you on these adoptions Sweet Friend. The LORD truly has done some miraculous things already. I will be praying for the decisions that your family must make now.
loves,
Shonni
Adeye,
I am so touched when I read your blogs. You are such a special person and Hailee and Harper are soooooooo blessed to have you. They are absoultely precious children and I personally don't know how anyone could not want them. We need more people like you in the world! I know bout Reece's Rainbow because a co-worker of mine and her family are adopting Duncan through Reece's Rainbow.
I have nothing but respect for you and your family! I said those two beautiful girls are a gift from God. But don't forget, with everything you do your are a bigger gift!
I don't think you should forget about that..
And about those questions: God will lead you, wherever you go!
with love..
LOVE THE UPDATES... So sorry the 10 days weren't waived but maybe while your there - those caretakers will see you loving on the ones they deem valueless and maybe just maybe their hearts will be touched!! Oh that is my prayer!
Oh Adeye, I am so sorry. I'll be praying for you.
I had to laugh at the shoe thing. She will fit right in with your family won't she?
Adeye, I'm so sorry that you didn't get the 10 day waiver. Keep remembering that band of angels surrounding you and your girls, and that your little ones at home are being loved on by grandparents they don't see very often. They miss you, but are no doubt treasuring each day they get with them. You'll have so much time with them when you get home, and this trip will seem nothing more than a blink of the eye. I had such hard time being away from my children last year, and that was only 2 weeks...but now it's like we were never apart.
Harper cracks me up! It's a good thing you have a big family so she can just love on everyone all day long! And the whole shoe thing...don't they know your kids love to run around barefoot?? Big hugs and lots of prayers for you all!
Adeye
I can only imagine how hard the decision is that you have to make. To have your children on 2 continents makes your decision almost impossible, so we are praying with you that the Lord will make it so clear as to what you must do.
Thank you for reminding me that God is in control and for your kind words on my blog.
You are truly a friend who I greatly appreciate.
Michelle
Mercy, you do have some tough decisions to make. I'm praying for you!
God bless,
Amy <><
I just found your blog a couple of days ago. My heart has been so touched by the love you have for your two beautiful girls (and all your children). God is almighty and He will show you the way. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.
I am so sorry for the disappointments of today, but I know that the Lord will comfort you and show you His light in all of it.
Two years ago, my husband and I traveled to Ghana to bring home 3 siblings. We were planning to be gone for 2 weeks. We left 8 of our bio. children home alone with 21 year old Big Brother (and NO extended family .. no g'parents ... no aunts and uncles ...). The two youngest (ages 6 & 7) had never been away from mommy and daddy for more than 6 days. This was BIG.
We had one delay after another. We kept cryng out to the Lord for His grace, mercy, and wisdom. At the 2 week point, we were no further along than on the 2nd day. Big Brother told us he was doing fine, and that we both needed to stay in Africa together.
At the 4 week point, Mama finally came home ... and left Papa in Ghana for another 2 weeks.
It was a LONG time for us to be gone. BUT ... it was for the best. Our children at home did fine without us. They missed us, but they knew that we loved them dearly and missed them, too.
I agree with Milena's comment ... I believe you should stay. Your hubby and your children will miss you, but they know that you are taking care of these precious little ones that will soon be home with them. They will survive. The little ones need to know the consistency of their Mama's love. They need to know that you will come back day after day after day. And ... after court, can't they be with you full-time then???
While we so wished that we could have gone home at the 2 week point ... we did see God's hand in having us stay in Ghana longer. We saw the benefits of the bonding time with our children, before we brought them home and introduced them to their 10 siblings. You, too, have this chance for bonding that will change dramatically when you get home to the other kids ... to moving ... to LIFE ...
I do know this is HARD ... oh how I cried in Ghana ... but I also know that it can be GOOD.
Praying for God's BEST for you and your whole family!!!
Laurel :)
I don't know what makes me cry more....Your posts or reading all the beautiful comments from your readers. I am praising God today for all the fabulous people He has placed in your life while on this journey. I know you must gain so much strength from reading each entry. Each entry is written with so much love. Praise God for the internet and the possibility to follow you on this journey. The girls are amazing. Absolutely lovely and I know they are feeling your love. They are already blossoming before our eyes and they haven't even gotten home yet. Take care and I will pray for God to give you wisdom about the decisions to be made about traveling. God bless, Tamara
They are soooooo cute Mrs. Adeye!!!!!
I feel your disappointment. We are the family that adopted our daughter last year from the same orphanage in Kharkiv. We, too, found out the hard way how difficult the process is there. One day, we sat for 7 hours in the birth certificate office trying to get 2 names changed. I know how maddening it can be! But God showed me something in my frustration. It was His will to wait. And the reason for it was because my daughter needed time to bond with me. She needed my undivided attention devoid of distractions that will arise when you're home. My complete love and attention is what her heart needed from me during the wait. I needed it too. Maybe God knows you all need it too. :)
Prayers and peace to you tonight.
We are joining with you in prayer, dear Adeye. The Lord will grant wisdom and peace; HE is in control of it all, and you know this. This is a challenge, to be sure, but all things will work together for good, and you will know and receive it! Love you, friend. If there's anything we can be doing on this end besides, praying, holler, okay?
Listen to the Lord as to what your suppose to do but I'm with everyone who says you should stay! The girls are blossoming before our very eyes! Put your move in the back of your mind and rest in Him. Your doing what your suppose to be doing. This is all in His perfect timing. Don't rush it. You may have a devine appointment you don't even know about yet. I'm sure you have touched so many lives there already your work may not be done yet! The whole not being there for the move thing may be a part of the plan too. How hard would it be to take care of the kids when trying to pack and clean. This gives the family a purpose and an opportunity to give back to you! They have an opportunity to really bless you while you are serving and blessing on the other side of the world! They can handle it!!! Really!! Praying for you and your family!!! Sheri
Oh Adeye,
My heart is crying at this. All we are left to do is continue to pray and trust in the Lord, I understand this is a difficult journey and I pray that God strengthens you. God will be victorious the enemy will have no choice but to back down.
Keep smiling this will pass
{{HUGS}}
Today, learned that our little boy in Ethiopia broke his arm. Oh, Adeye, if the hurting in my own heart is any indication of yours, I wish I could just reach out & give you a big hug. It is hard to have your heart so deeply embedded in two places so far away from each other. Hang in there!
From our devotions this morning:
"I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
"I've found a refuge from life's care in Jesus, I am hiding in His love divine; He fully understands my soul's deep longing, And He whispers softly, "Thou art Mine."--Christiansen
In this and in all things we can say, "For This I Have Jesus."
You have exemplified that practice of facing hardships and disappointments with that statement, "For this I have Jesus."
Thank you for your example in perseverence and faith in our Father Who will not only help you make the best decision for your ENTIRE family, but will sustain whichever family members must be without Mom during the waiting.
Praying with you my friend as you make this decision.
Kristin
Friend....YOU AMAZE ME! You are so strong. Give those 4 sweet cheeks kisses from me. STAY TOUGH! God will continue to be your guide!
I know how hard this is...we had to make the same decision to come home with out our little boy when we couldn't get a court date. It was so hard, we didn't know when we would return. It ended up being over a month.
You just have to make the right decision for you and your family, but either way, it seems like someone loses. Either the ones at home or the ones in Ukraine. It's tough, but this too shall pass, then you will all be together.
Praying for you~
Jodi
Oh Adeye, I am so sorry you did not get the waiver. Praying for you while you make this difficult decision.
Your babes look adorable and they are looking more alert! Love Harpers smile!!
Sweet Adeye! I just adore you to pieces. I'm so sorry things aren't going as you had hoped. Rats! I'm praying, OK?
Your girls seem more bright-eyed with each post. Precious little cupcakes! The love of Jesus is no doubt flowing richly from your embraces and filling their broken hearts.
Press on, friend! You have a lot of warriors praying for you!!
Praying for you and your family.
Those little ones are so loved by Jesus. I pray that you and your husband make the right decision.
Thanks for the encouraging comments on my blogo... Some days are tougher than others. Today is relatively smooth - but it ain't over :-)
Blessings,
Angela
Poor Hailee, how sad to think that she bangs her head that hard and that often to have a bump like that.:( I'm praying that God will give you some comfort with what you decide. With you there each day, Hailee is getting the much needed human touch that she has been needing all of her short little life. You are filling up her little heart with a Mother's love and she is going to blossom right before your eyes. Both of your new little girls will do things that you never imagined just by receiving the love from you and your family. I am so looking forward to following your blog as you bring these precious children into your family. I can't wait to see pictures of your children all together playing, just as God has planned all along. Isn't HE amazing?!!:)
Amy
I do believe that the girls appear different somehow. Interesting, but not surprising, what a whole lot of lovin' can do!
I'm sorry that you have this difficult decision to make. How difficult it must be!
I'm praying for you to get a court date soon!
Adeye, Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us! We love to check in every day to see your posts. Praying for you as you make some tough decisions. Thank you for being so open and honest. You have touched our lives.
I loved looking at the photos, and it's wonderful seeing Hailee opening up little by little, praise Yah!! :)
I am praying that He will give you wisdom on what to do. In situations like this, when I have no idea what to do (having to make a decision and no clear direction from Him), one helpful way to go about it is to ask myself, "Which decision will bring a smile to His face?"
When I was reading, my first thought was, stay on with the girls... especially with Hailee, as you are like sunshine for the girls. Also, the more longer you stay, the more witness you will do for Him in pouring love on the girls, and those at the orphanage will see with their very eyes the girls opening up to your love, and see the power of His love.
Just my thoughts... as I know that sometimes He works in different ways. Praying that He will give you and Anthony peace on what to do.
p.s. Linny recently made a wonderful post about how to hear Him over at "A Place Called Simplicity", thought to share with you in case you haven't seen it.
I know what leaving them will be like... You will feel like you can't breathe and it will be hard to do what needs doing at home. But if you decide you are to go home for the wait, I promise you WILL get through it and you hold on GOD will be your anchor! I am so sorry my friend! What a hard decision.... I will be praying.
Our progress to our girls is still moving but oh so slowly! Almost 3 months now... It keeps getting harder. :(. But I am not letting go of God and continue to pray for a late April travel date!!!!
I love haulers little lips! They are both too beautiful for words!
I know what leaving them will be like... You will feel like you can't breathe and it will be hard to do what needs doing at home. But if you decide you are to go home for the wait, I promise you WILL get through it and you hold on GOD will be your anchor! I am so sorry my friend! What a hard decision.... I will be praying.
Our progress to our girls is still moving but oh so slowly! Almost 3 months now... It keeps getting harder. :(. But I am not letting go of God and continue to pray for a late April travel date!!!!
I love haulers little lips! They are both too beautiful for words!
I don't know the words to ease your aching Mama heart. Just know we stand beside you and will PRAY YOU THROUGH IT! We'll pray you through whatever decision you make! You are NOT alone!!!
Love you!
Rett
P.S. I wish you lived closer...I want to eat them up too!!!
OK. Big disappointment. Your faith is not wavering one bit though. It is a tough decision - I know it is. You will find the right answer. Your kiddos at home are in great hands. This is all going to be a memory very soon - not as soon as you wanted but soon. I cannot wait to see all your beautiful children together at last. What a day for celebration that will be!!!
Sending much love your way - and many prayers, too!
ugh...that darn judge! i'm sorry that ended up being his ruling. doesn't make sense, but for some reason God allowed it. maybe God wants you to go home for that bit of time in between the final homecoming? I'll be praying for you and this decision.
love all the pictures! i think it's awesome that you are ministering to the orphanage staff by your actions! maybe this will make an impact on them to put more effort in the care of the children that continue to live there.
Oh Adeye...sweet friend. I am so sorry you have had this disappointment today and are now grappling with a huge decision. The first thing I thought was that God is going to use you during those extra 10 days to show His love to those around Hailee and Harper. I believe it is blowing their minds that you want to adopt your precious girls and God may need you on the mission field 10 extra days.
When our Katie was in the hospital and Jeff's mom and sister came to stay with the kids, they told me later that they absolutely LOVED being there without me (and mostly without Jeff, while he was at work) because it gave them the opportunity to really get to know the kids. I believe your parents are experiencing the same thing. They are building something special into your kids' lives.
I know God will show you what to do. If He wants you home for awhile, He will work that all out, too. :) BIG HUGS!!!!
Praying for you to know exactly what to do. I know that either decision is going to be hard. I'm sorry you are faced with such a tough decision.
Oh Adeye, my heart aches for you with these decisions! I can only imagine how hard it must be! I feel so helpless in being able to help this situation! So, Chris and I are offering to do whatever needs to be done here at your house in Richmond to get y'all ready to move in. I wrote Anthony an e-mail the other day and offered our help with whatever, really! I know you have several friends here that will want to help as well, but we just want y'all to know that we are available to help in any way we can. We love you and can't wait to see you all.....the Big Salem family with 2 new angel blessings!
Bunches and Bunches of Hugs and Love,
Anne
Beautiful pictures of your sweet babies. Wonderful to hear how already tiny Hailee is responding to her IV infusion of LOVE :)
We've experienced the same thing with EVERY adoption, but He has definetly seen it through. It seems like God really wants to focus on faith and patience with our family! Hang in there and you are ALWAYS in my prayers.
Mattie Patterson
my mom's blog is Allarepreciousinhissight.blogspot.com
I can feel your disappointment all the way here!!! I am so sorry and yet know that God's purpose is being fulfilled through you. You are reaching and changing so many hearts through this journey.
If you go home for a little bit of time, the time may go by faster and you will get some things done that need to be done before moving. It's just the positive side if you do decide to go home for the 10 day period!
He will give you clarity on what you need to do!
Loving you!
Oh I am so very sorry about the 10 day waiver, ugh~I wish the judges would just let these beautiful babies start their NEW lives ! You will get thru this, you have such amazing faith :) And you are right they are both so darn pretty !! I cant wait to see them just bloom at home :) :)
Adeye I'm sure you were very disappointed but there must be a reason for this. You do have a very difficult decision to make but remember that your children at home are in loving hands and being well taken care of. These two little angels have enjoyed the hours so much that you already have given them and I just hate to see you have to leave them. I see so much difference in Hailey and I truely believe that this is such an important time when you can spending more bonding time w/them before bring them home. I just hate to see you have to step out of their lives right now but you have to go w/your heart and lean on God. Which ever way you choose to go will be what your heart and God tells you to do. Hugz, jann
Oh dear Adeye! My heart is sharing in your heaviness from here. KNOW that many are lifting you up to the Father... and as you already know, He WILL answer and He will make your path straight. There is a reason for these delays, they are part of His plan. I believe this because we have all made our requests known to Him, yet He has answered in a way that none of us had hoped. But I trust for whatever it is, you will one day know...and I believe that it will be for HIS glory! I can already see that His love is shining through you, and I know the staff is observing it closely. You're a vessel Adeye...a vessel He is working through.
Rest in Him and know that He will light the path before you. And thank you so much for your posts. In the midst of our own adoption trials (mostly provisional right now...with travels coming up in May...lots of stress) but your post today spoke to me. And I know I have to trust FULLY in Him. He loves us and we have favor in Him and I know and believe that. He will carry it through to completion. You are SO right, sister!! God bless you and know how much you are loved!
Blessings and Hugs,
~Tanya
P.S. ~ your little hunnies are both SO scrumptious! God is good!!
My friend, my heart cries for you and the decisions you have to make, but I have no doubt that God will lead you in the right direction, as He has all along. Those are two really precious little girls and just toooo cute. I pray that one day we will get to meet them. Keep strong and take your strength and comfort from the One who knows and loves us far beyond what we can think or imagine... Love Janelle
My friend, my heart cries for you and the decisions you have to make, but I have no doubt that God will lead you in the right direction, as He has all along. Those are two really precious little girls and just toooo cute. I pray that one day we will get to meet them. Keep strong and take your strength and comfort from the One who knows and loves us far beyond what we can think or imagine... Love Janelle
praying for you and sending you a hug as you and for hubby make difficult decisions for your family. The girls are looking great, thank you for sharing them with us.
Blessings,
gayly
Sweet, loving friend. Thanks for sharing your heart with us. Wish you wisdom and strenght to make this tough decision...
Praying for you and your family.
Love,
Annerieke
Oh, Adeye, what a huge decision to make. But as you say, this is no surprise to the Father and He does ALL things well! I'm praying for discernment and clarity...and a court date sooner rather than later! Hang in there, Friend. Look at what He has done so far!!!!
Love you!
Hang in there Adeye! I think we will be going through the same thing with the 10 day waiting period. I hope you can find a decision that brings you peace my dear!!!
The girls are looking amazing...even with a cold! The shoes are actually DARLING for orphanage shoes :)!!!!
Big giant hugs!!!! We get into Kiev on April 20th and we'll most likely be there for the entire week since our appt is on Thursday morning at 9 am. Maybe we'll cross paths?!?!
Jen
If you decide to come home for the waiting period to take care of the rest of your family and yourself, then return renewed to complete your mission, this could also be his plan. Please do not feel guilty either way. Unless you have adopted in Ukraine it would be impossible to understand the intense feelings of lonliness and isolation. God will take care of the girls either way. You are an amazing person, and you have a lot of faithful followers!
God Bless,
Shari
As I was praying for you last night, this song came to mind.
Don't know if you are familiar with it, but a few lines are:
He Giveth More Grace
"He giveth more grace when the burdens are greater.
He giveth more grace when the trials increase.
To added affliction, He addeth His mercy.
To multiplied sorrows, His multiplied peace.
His love hath no limit,
His grace hath no measure.
His power hath no boundary known unto man.
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus, He giveth and giveth and giveth again."
Praying that for you.
Adeye, I was finally able to get caught up on your journey tonight.
Oh my word - your daughters are both so cute and precious! Absolute blessings from heaven!
I am so sorry about the delays and all the ways adoption can be frustrating at best. Like you said nothing has slipped through God's hands and He knows exactly how this will all play out. Don't hold onto what will happen tomorrow keep trusting that He has already gone before you to make it all perfect in His plan and timing!
Praying for you tonight and trusting God to do wonderful things for your family through this journey of faith!
Love and hugs,
Jill
Adeye, I just wanted you to know that I have been keeping up with everyone of your posts. I am following and showing my family the pictures of Hailee and Harper and sharing all that you are going through in order to bring a child that is familyless into your family. It has been a wonderful experience for all of us. They love looking at the sweet pictures of the girls. You are coming upon some tough decisions. I will continue to keep you in my prayers that you arise in His strength to do what He puts in your heart to do. His grace is sufficient for you. I am so proud to know you even if only here in the blogging world. :)
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