Some days I feel like I am part of a really crazy reality show. You know, the kind of show where cameras follow an adoptive mom around, filming her every move. Will she hang in? Will she give up? Will she walk away from her children? Just how is she going to handle this? Is she loving her children well? Will the orphanage staff finally start accepting her?
It really is a crazy thing being here. The things I see. The behind the scenes goings-on. Oh my! I feel like I am constantly being watched. Eyes are everywhere.
Just when I think things could not possibly become more crazy, sheesh, something else happens that leaves me thinking, “Oh my goodness, what in the world was that all about.”
Yesterday I was visiting my sweet girls. I told you that we get to hang out together in the one and only vacant room. They call it the ‘zoo room’. I call it the ‘zoo room that seriously needs to be cleaned.’ After the first ten minutes in there I become unaware of the smell. We visit with two ginormous rabbits that can hardly move in their cages, two not-so-lovely rats, a mouse, a turtle, four birds and a dozen or so goldfish. They tell me it is for the children’s ‘therapy’.
Anyway.
So there I am playing on the floor with my sweethearts, when all of a sudden the door opens. A woman comes in, and as she sees me she kind of back tracks a few steps. She has a shocked look on her face and I sit there wondering what’s wrong. She soon gathers herself and comes into the room. She drops everything on the floor, and goes straight to Harper. She picks her up and loves the living dickens out of her.
Okay then…um, and who might you be?
I figured she must definitely knows my Harper. Quite obviously loves her, actually. She brings her a toy and shoves it in her little face as the thing sings some Russian lullaby. She cannot stop smooching my child’s gorgeous cheeks.
I understand, I mean those cheeks are irresistible.
Then, my friends, it starts. She starts having a full-on conversation with me in Russian. I tell her I don’t understand. “English”, I say. “Me…English”. Dang, that did nothing to help my case. She continues on, pointing at Harper and then at herself and telling me some long story. Oh my goodness, yes, that’s great, but I have no idea what the heck you’re saying to me.
Help…I need help here. I have an idea. I call Tatianna who is with the chief doctor filling out yet another form the judge has decided he just has to have. “Tatianna, there is a woman here who is talking to me like we have been friends for life. Only problem is that I have not understood one word that she has said to me yet. Could you please come up here and help me out a little?”
My SOS works. Five minutes later I have a translator. Whew.
It turns out that this lady was at the hospital the day Harper was born. She is some kind of an advocate for children who either get left at the hospital after their birth, or who end up in orphanages. She knows, and clearly loves my child. For the next hour I heard Harper’s life story. I know every orphan has a story, most of the time it is impossible for an adoptive parent to know, but for Harper that has been different. Sitting before me was a woman who knew every little detail of my angel’s life.
I hear about her birth. I hear about the “stress” after she was born. I hear about how her family could not look at her sweet little face, she was too “different”. I hear about how the father decided she had to go to the orphanage because is was “too hard for the mother”. I hear about the healthy baby girl they have since had. I hear about how happy they are about that. I hear about how the father so desperately wants his daughter in the orphanage to be adopted. I hear about how he supports the orphanage financially, and often comes to drop off things, but not once does he stop in to see her. Not once in over two years. Yep, I hear it all.
I fight back tears as I listen. It’s hard to hear, but I am so thankful that I get a window into my precious daughter’s past. Such a gift from heaven.
We spend a long time chatting, me and this other woman. She wants to know about my family, my other children and our lives. I show her my little brag book. She asks a lot of questions as we sit outside. It’s a lovely day and I love that my children are getting some sunshine and fresh air. We walk around the grounds with the girls in strollers, just lovely.
Little did I know what was unseen, lurking in secret places, watching my every move.
Today I found out that Harper’s father came with that lady yesterday. I never saw him. Or, maybe I did. He was curious and wanted to see who Harper’s mother was. So he came and watched, from where I have no idea. Huh? Seriously? Oh my goodness.
One thing he knows for sure is where his “Sophia” will be going. He has seen me! He got details.
He must have got a bit of a shock when he saw me. Remember the woman walked in the door, saw me there and looked seriously surprised? Well, they tell me that I look exactly like Harper’s biological mother. Even down to the clothes that I wear.
Pretty. Darn. Wild.
I inquired as to whether he was having second thoughts, and was maybe sad that she would be leaving this country. Was he wanting to see her sweet little face just one last time? Would he like to hold her and savor her sweet smell just once? Just maybe?
“No!” He was so happy that she would be going to America.
Well, okay then. A lump rose into my throat and I forced it down. It was more than my heart could bear.
I drove back from the orphanage today thinking about it all. A thought brought tears to my eyes…we almost missed out of one of God’s most precious creations. Just as this father had missed out, so did we almost too. We never set out to adopt Harper. We knew she was in the orphanage because we had seen her picture. The possibility of adopting two children was there from the start, but it was a huge decision. She would be our seventh child, and we had so many reasons why we should not do it. They all made perfect sense, of course. Trust me, we gave the Lord a list of our pathetic excuses. Over and over again. We’re just so stinking human.
Still, the little angel with the blue eyes would not go away. She was never far from our thougths and prayers. Ever. Whenever we saw Hailee, we saw Harper with her. Inseparable.
Finally, just before we submitted our dossier for Hailee’s adoption, we added Harper. You can read about it here if you are a newer reader of my blog. We finally surrendered our will, our future, our plans, our dreams, and our fears to the Lord and said, “Yes, we’ll bring her home too. Whatever you want, Father.”
Oh my goodness, the thought of almost missing out on this precious gift from the Lord makes me go cold. I shudder to think about what would become of her life had she been left behind. I can’t even let my mind go there. She is just too precious for words. She is a bundle of absolute love, love, love. So often I have been told that children with Down syndrome are the most loving kids around. They love like there is no tomorrow. I can totally see that in Harper. This girl is a whole lot of love wrapped up in a tiny, exquisite package.
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I am so absolutely thankful today.
Thankful that this angel will never know abandonment ever again.
Thankful that God knew what was best for our family, even when we had every single excuse under the sun as to why we should not do it.
I hear it so often,”This child will be blessed.” “This child is so lucky to have you.” “This child will finally know the love of a family.” “This child’s life is about to change.” While all of that is great, I know that the greatest blessing of all is going to be for us, her family.” I know that our lives will never ever be the same again…they will be so much better, so much richer because God decided, before the foundation of the earth, that we NEEDED to adopt this girl too. It is for our GOOD that we bring her home. Oh how I am beginning to see that even now.
Thank you, Father God, for this precious, most amazing little gift.
Incredible things happen when we say “Yes” to God! The journey may a little [or a whole lot] daunting or scary…but obedience to God gives Him such an incredible opportunity to open the floodgates of heaven and pour down more precious blessings than our hearts could ever hope or dream of. One of those blessings for us is sweet Harper.
I went to bed last night thinking about Harper’s father and wondering what he was thinking. I couldn’t help but think about all that his family was missing out on in this angelic little girl-her absolute sweetness, her ability to wrap herself around anyone’s neck, her love of being held super tightly, her infectious giggle, the precious tongue that she has zero control of, her teeny tiny feet, her little toe that is bent, the way she raises her arms to tell you to pick her up, her curiosity. I thought about it all, and felt such sadness for their loss. They will never know the true delight that this special child is.
And then I thanked God that we never missed out!
Counting my blessings tonight. To think that we came so close to missing out on such TREASURE on this earth. Oh my heart.
What a story!! I can’t believe my eyes. Thank God for his wonderful plan with Harper!
Hang in there girl!!
Love,
Annerieke
Isn’t GOD wonderfully amazing???? Harper is a pure joy to see in photos. What a blessing to Harpers birth family to “know” where she is going and to know about who her mommy will be. God must have known they needed that!
What an unbelievable gift you were given. To know her story is a treasure.
And what a beauty she is
You are truly an angel, Adeye! My sister is law is downs so I can really relate. They are the most expressive and loving people I have met. They really just love. We will continue covering you and your family in prayer. lots of love, blessings, grace & peace to you. Love Mandi Hart
I’m sitting in my office crying. Such an amazing post. Whew. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of this journey. Hugs.
WOWZERS! What an amazing story! A story you will now be able to tell her one day and if not, you will be able to hold on to that and know WHY. The WHY that so many adoptive parents of Ukranian kids never know. WONDERFUL!
Oh Adeye, I am just in tears. What an unbelievable God story this is. What I would have given to have someone come to me and tell me Jacob’s life story. That is such an incredible gift! The view from here is that God is holding you so close to Him right now - and bringing these amazing surprises, flattening the hurdles and giving you the strength to see this through. Stay strong and treasure every bit of information about your girls that you can gather. It will mean so much later on.
Praying you home sweet friend.
Take a peek at my weblog: I posted some pictures of the (very Dutch!)presents I send to you for your girls, so you can see it for yourself. Sorry it isn’t pink
Love,
Annerieke
http://shenqiubackinchina.blogspot.com/
Wow, that story gave me chills!! And brought tears to my eyes. Wow. That is the craziest God thing I’ve ever heard. That you look just like her birth mother?!?! Nuts. I am so happy you decided on Harper, too. She’s a doll in those pics and can only imagine how cute she is in person!!! Thanks for your obedience to the Lord. It is inspiring to me.
How Amazing is the God we serve! What a story!! Thank you for sharing with us all!
Wow. Amazing. I am almost speechless!
Thank you Lord for allowing Adeye to find out about Harper’s early life. What a gift.
And that you look like her bio mom to boot…wow!
God knows what He is doing…if only we have ears to ear.
Open my ears Lord!
Love,
Holly
I’ve just started praying for you — today. Here’s one reason you needed to be in the Ukraine just a little bit longer! I will continue to pray for a swift path home.
Blessings,
Deb
WOW! WOW! WOW! That is quite a story! As awful as the family’s initial reaction was to the birth of little “Sophia,” I’m glad to know they’ve at least cared enough to make donations to the orphanage and to see with whom she is going. At least that’s SOMETHING! But how wonderful for you and Anthony to now be her real family, one that longs to look at her face, one that will never abandon her. I’m thrilled for you. WOW! What a story…. God is beyond amazing, huh?
Wow! I knew God had you and Harper on my mind this morning for some reason! Seriously, He woke me up from a dead sleep and put the picture of you and her in my mind. What an amazing story for you to share. Isn’t our God amazing?
Oh my gracious!!! That is a phenomenal story!!! Oh God - you are so perfect in all You do and put together.
What an awesome story!! What a gift to be able to give her someday! God is so good! Praying that the Lord touches her birth families hearts and changes their view of these special kids. What a revolution they could start!
Unbelievable! What an amazing life this Spirit led one is!
Thanks for sharing, Adeye! Praying for you and your family.
Barbra
WOW! You could write a book when you get home in your spare time =)
Wow Adeye, that truly is a made for tv story! I’m surprised that the father was curious to see who Harper’s mother is considering the fact they didn’t want to keep her because she has down syndrome.
Praying that all goes smoothly and quickly for you.
{{hugs}}
Oh my goodness! I balled through this whole post. I am just sitting here in udder amazement of how intricately detailed God is in our individual lives. Oh how He loves the little children of the world!!!
What a journey with the LORD…what a precious life and gift from HIM. I am so happy for you to know this little piece of info.
Such an amazing story!!!
Oh wow! I am crying over this beautiful post. You probably know this, but I am sure you are in the Ukraine at this time for more than Hailee & Harper. You might not know the impact you are having on people there, but one fine day you probably will see the results in heaven.
God has ALL in His hands.
Hugs from afar
Now you’ve got me in serious tears here! You don’t have to think about ‘missing out’ for another second, my friend, because you are right on target. Oh, God is so good!!!
wow, just found your blog and Im already in tears Beautiful is not a big enough word to describe what is happening in your life WOW God is AMAZING isn’t he?
I shouldn’t be amazed that God in his infinite wisdom is allowing you to see (so quickly) WHY He had you adopt Harper as well. But to also allow her birth father to see what loving, capable hands she will be in is an added blessing to this whole situation.
Kristin
Wow! You are BLESSED to know your sweet angels story!
We have been close friends with 3 families that have downs syndrome children, and yes, those children are a BLESSING to their families.
Years ago, a family with 5 children (we had 8 at the time) asked if we would be in their will, to take their children in case something happened to the parents. And … the reason they asked … because of the SPECIAL relationship between my sweet husband and their DS son. We were BLESSED to be asked. Sadly, the mother has passed away, but, thankfully, the father is still able to take care of his children.
Another friend just brought home a little DS daughter from the Ukraine just a few months ago. We look forward to meeting her. (They don’t live near us.)
Thanks for sharing this most amazing story (ummm … you even LOOk like the bio. mom … yes, CRAZY …)
Laurel
Beautiful story!
What a gift!!
The Lord is good in all his ways!!
Delighting in Him
Donna
Wow! What a wonderful thing He is doing in all of your lives! Hang in there sweetie, you’re doing GREAT!
Wow, that is QUITE the story! I am so, so glad you were led to her, she is amazingly beautiful and worthy!
Amazing story and pics!
Wow - I can’t say anymore than that
Michelle
praise YHWH, I am glad that Harper’s dad now knows where Harper is going, having seen you, that he may have peace, and his wife too… knowing that their daughter is not in the orphanage any more, and that she has a bright, happy future with you
He is sooo good! 
Wow! That is just amazing. Tears and chill bumps. Praying for you and your whole family!
Amazing story, Adeye! (Write a book when you get home.) You absolutely nailed it when you said that the adoptive family wins as well when they open up thier arms to adopt! I think it is a little known secret between God and those children that step forward in obedience to His command to care for the widows and orphans. You can tell others about it, but it is never the same as living it!!! Steven Curtis Chapman said it well in a song he penned when he stated that if you are looking for God on this earth, don’t be surprised to find Him in the orphanages around the world. Of course we will find him there!
That is an incredible story. Harper and Hailee will bless your family and you will bless them. I’m so glad you did not miss out on these treasures - it is too bad that their birth parents did, but…..
If that isn’t a miracle my friend I don’t know what is!
That is the hand of God reaching down to earth and changing lives for eternity!
Pure love and joy!
Yes, obedience is not always easy but the blessings that come are too numerous and wonderful to ever recount!
Lots of love - singing His praises with you!
Blessings and more blessings!
Jill
how awesome that you were able to learn a little bit more of her story! God is so good. your family is blessed to have both of these lovely princesses to love on!
She is a beautiful little girl, just like her mama! I think it’s pretty cool that her biodad saw you, he will have such peace knowing how loved she is!
This is an incredible story! I am so happy for both the two little girls and you, that God put you together.
It was very encouraging to me to read this as I am also adopting two babies with needs, one with spina bifida and one with Downs Syndrome. I have been rather discouraged about the ongoing health issues, actually just left the hospital today with my DS baby after another hospitalization. This post reminded me how blest I really am!
Oh my goodness Adeye!!! Just another amazing testament!!! I am simply speecless and am in awe, as well as in tears!!
It’s so good to read this account, Adeye. It is such a crystal clear picture of the orchestration of the Lord. Who knows what seeds of His love will be planted in Harper’s bio family as they consider He sent someone from so very far away to love the child they brought into the world. I bet Harper’s bio dad will be lying awake at night, and the Holy Spirit will be ministering such deep things to his heart about all this. That little girl is such a lovebug! Both of them are just blooming more and more in each photo. It’s true: God sent Down children to this earth to model unconditional love. You are blessed indeed to have found each other by the leading of the Lord! Love and miss you.
What an amzing post
Wow! Just amazing. Isn’t it wonderful how God’s plan is always so much better than anything we could have come up with or even asked for? Certainly better than any reality show.
I know these days must be so difficult, but I’m grateful that God is showing you along the way His mighty hand in your life. We’re keeping you in our prayers!
Much Love,
Kathie
Oh Adeye…you are going to have to write a book about this experience…seriously! Amazing journey you are on and yes…she is one DOLL baby!
Sorry to seem like a b*tch here, but I think it is time for a “person first” language post, Adeye. Almost every single person that commented here and mentioned Down syndrome and your girls (or others with Down syndrome) called them “downs syndrome children”, “downs”, “ds kids”, etc… and I cringed each time.
Sorry, it is important to me and should be to everyone, that these children are CHILDREN first, they just happen to HAVE Down syndrome.
OH my!! I love how God weaves together the story perfectly…tears of joy for all of you…Love you sweet friend and we are praying and praying for favor for you all as you complete the work and bring those treasures home…
What an amazing story. We serve and amazing God! Love Janelle
I’ve offered a quick prayer of thanks - what a Blessing you’ve recieved! A true Gift from God…and what great Witness you’ve brought forth here….thank you for sharing not only the experience - but the Faith that brought it about!
And yeah - the child is just completely huggable!
Blessings - Prayers - and a bunch of hugs -
aus and co.
How wonderful that you have heard Harper’s little history! And that you look like Harper’s biological mom??? Wow! What a gift she is and how so sweet she looks. I would love to meet them one day my friend….. Take care and may your strength continue. Lots of Love x
Oh Adeye, when you got to the part about looking exactly like her birth mother, it ran goose bumps all over me! I’m all teared up right now! Yes, Harper and Hailee are blessed, but you’re right…you are blessed and mostly because you know what a blessing you’re receiving!
Thinking of you and your family and praying for you all!
Hugs,
Tammy
She sure is a beauty!
I can’t believe he was watching you that whole time! Ah.
So glad that the Lord was in charge the with the whole thing. So glad you submitted your will the the Lords! You will be blessed beyond measure because of it. So glad you don’t have to think about your life without her, because she wilsoon be all yours!!
Oh and to think that if the judge had waived the waiting period, you would not have this view of your sweet little ones’ beginning. What an amazing story! You are in my prayers every day. I don’t even know you and came across your blog while reading another Mom’s blog. I have a daughter with Down syndrome and, through my internet searching, have arrived at your story. I pray daily for God to give you hope and grace to handle the emotions that you are living with. I was very concerned when I saw the story of the Russian child returned to the orphanage and had to rush to your blog and make sure that this did not put a halt to your adoption process. Praying for you daily.
Tina in Texas
Just want to thank you for sharing this sweet sweet story that God is writing in your life! We are anxiously waiting to get our bundle of JOY soon! God has moved mountains on her behalf and we are so excited!
Amazing, nothing but amazing
How wonderful for Harper’s birth family to know that she’ll be adopted and deeply loved. And what a treasure for you to know her story!
Amazing to read how He is working in all this. Continuing to pray for you, your family home, and those sweet girls.
Wow…Adeye…that is such an amazing story! Wow…only God. Sorry to be behind…not much time to be on the Internet this week. My kids keep asking about you, though, and were so happy to hear that the judge had given you permission to adopt the girls.
HUGS!!!!