I wanted to post this yesterday, but blogger has been having issues. Posts and comments are still missing, but I think they’re getting things sorted out.
Last year we spent Hailee’s birthday rushing around Kiev finalizing the last of the paperwork for her and Harper’s adoption. We had an early flight to catch the next morning. It was such a crazy day. Hailee had been out of the orphanage for just a few days and she was SO out of it. The withdrawal effects from coming off the strong tranquilizing drug she had been on for five years was horrendous.
She struggled desperately to adjust to life outside of her cage (sorry, I mean crib).
She screamed.
And screamed.
And scratched the backs of her ears until they bled.
And pounded her head on anything hard that she could find.
And rocked back and forth to console herself.
And threw anything that she could get her hands on halfway across the room.
And bit her fingers until they were red and swollen and caloused.
Those were hard days. I remember them like they were yesterday.
My lifeless angel who did nothing but fuss all day long-for weeks and weeks.
That was then.
But just LOOK what God has done!
Her transformation truly does take my breath away. This birthday has been so, so different.
It is so hard to believe that this is the same little girl who was literally wasting away in a crib a year ago. There was no life in her. Nothing.
God has done such an incredible thing in her life.
Hailee is a new creation in every sense of the word. Yesterday, on her birthday, I looked at her and I remembered. I remembered the journey we have been on and the miracles that have unfolded before our eyes. I looked at my beautiful little girl and could not stop thanking God for His miracle-working power in her life.
There was a time when I wondered if Hailee would ever find her legs and experience the joy of walking freedom.
But she has.
There was a time when I wondered if we would ever hear the joy of laughter coming from her sweet little mouth.
But we do.
Often.
When this little lovie bursts out her infectious cackle, it is the sweetest thing ever. We cannot help but laugh with her. She brings us SUCH joy.
Redemption is such a beautiful thing. God’s hand of healing and restoration is amazing, powerful, tangible, and awe-inspiring.
Does that mean it is always easy? No. Not at all. We still have days when things are tough and Hailee struggles with sensory overload or some other issue. But those days are getting fewer and fewer. We have just learned to keep things as calm as possible and not overwhelm her with too much stimulation. For the most part she is very adaptable and goes with us wherever we go.
A few weeks ago when I posted asking you if anyone had any questions that you would like me to answer, someone wrote and asked me why I only advocate for children who are harder to place in homes? Why not typical, healthy children? The reason is because God has used Hailee in such a profound way in my life. Through her life, her story, and the miracles that we see daily, I have come to have a deep understanding about something….
There is hope for every child!
There is hope even for those who, like our daughter, are confined to cribs and are literally wasting away. There is hope for children who are sentenced to “laying rooms.” There is such hope for the children who are overlooked so many times because their “condition” seems too difficult or too poor. Like sweet Julia who is thriving in a family now. There is hope for every child in a family. I am convinced of that. I believe with all my heart that Hailee would have died had she not been adopted. She weighed fifteen pounds at five years of age. That is the sad reality of many, many orphans. They perish because they cannot survive long term in those awful conditions.
I have learned so much from being Hailee’s mommy. She teaches me new things daily. I am so proud of her. She is such a courageous little girl-a fighter for sure. In her I see the strength and the courage that lies within all children who are like her-those who lie confined to the four walls of a crib day in and day out…
And it makes me want to continue fighting for the “Hailees” of the world!
Because there is HOPE for every child…and it is not in an orphange.
We love you, little one. You inspire us to fight for those left behind with everything that we have.
Happy sixth birthday, beautiful daughter. May you continue to grow, and blossom, and become ALL that God has created you to be in this life. We’ll be there to cheer you on every step of the way.
You are amazing.
God is so amazing…what a beautiful picture of redemption!
Thank you for this post. I’ve not being following you long. We have 12 kids, with a 13th on the way in June hopefully who is coming via foster care adoption. We have also committed to 4 children in Eastern Europe. Our youngest over there just turned 5. We knew her situation was hard, but learned recently that she doesn’t react to stimuli at all. The adoptive parenting visiting her new one that met our little girl said that she touched her, got in her face, and spoke to her. Our little one never stopped brushing her hand up by her eye or responded in any way. My heart breaks that there is no way to get to her sooner.
Several asked if we might change our minds. All I could do was be angry that they asked. It just made me more determined to get her home.
It is so touching to read your experience and her will to thrive.
She’s a precious girl and I’m so happy that you found her in time! She’s truly blossoming!
Did she enjoy her cake this year (too)?
What a testimony of HIS powerful love!!! It melts my heart. Lots of love from Poland, Bo.
Way to go - Hailee and her family! May those hard days continue to be fewer and fewer and may the love of God shine ever brighter from her life.
Press on! Keep advocating! You have a beautiful heart and have inspired me. This week marks the time that I began reading your blog. I have read every post this last year. I have never commented or let you know! But, in this year we traveled to China and adopted 2 special needs girls. God has used you to encourage me to obey God’s call. I was very apprehensive about adopting 2 older, special needs children. I wanted to back out of the adoption several times! My husband encouraged me to stop reading blogs, many told of very real issues that to me were scary. They were not meaning to be discouraging but they were to me. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, for 2 months I read no blogs and prayed and prayed for strength to follow His call. When I began reading blogs again YOURS was the one of 2 I chose to follow (also Jean’sat there’s no place like home! and I got to meet Jean in China when they brought home their new two, it was really special for me). God is using you. Thank you for your encouraging words, for the joy. These two girls have brought to me an unspeakable JOY. Not easier life but BETTER because of them. I’m a homeschool mom as well and it’s also a blessing to know there are other busy moms juggling it all with JOY. I began blogging in China and hope that I can only be a source of encouragement to those out there considering special needs adoption. Thank you so so much. To God be the glory. Laura Jones
Totally, absolutely, amazing transformation in only one year!! Precious Hailee, we just know that you will continue to thrive in the Salem family. Adeye could you by any chance post a video of Hailee walking independently? Or send me one privately? Would just love to see…. xoxoxo
Definitely worth advocating for!
Happy Birthday to your Darling - should I say Darlings? So amazing is His power and thankyou for sharing your journey. My children aged 11,9 and 6 love reading along too and are often asking about your four girls (I am sorry the boys don’t get a look in from them - but I often think of them) (: I thank God for your family and the impact your testimony has. Rachael xx
Just BEAUTIFUL! Praise God.
Happy Birthday precious girl!!! What a blessing it has been to watch this year unfold and your sweet girl truly come to life this past year! Thank you for sharing!
From my experience, “typical/healthy children” need little advocating for and are readily adopted. I am very thankful for the way you un-apologetically put it all on the line for those who do need that extra spotlight that allows their potential to shine through!
She IS amazing!! Yesterday I was reading your old post from last year, the last days of Hailee and Harper at that awful place and remembering too, looking a pictures of Hailee and thinking about this miracle that God has done with her! I fell blessed for being able to witness this amazing transformation! I talk a lot about her to friends and share her story because it’s simple miraculous!! We love you Hailee!! I hope you had an awesome birthday and many more to come!
I was wondering if you had sent photos of Hailee back to her orphanage. Or if you would consider sending these-her in adorable, bright, cheerful, active little girl clothes (i.e. dressed like a normal little girl who is greatly loved) with that huge smile, experiencing life fully and being her own little *person.* I wonder if such photos would make an impact upon how the careworkers would view the rest of the children left behind in their care. Maybe they would help them see the personhood in each little crib-bound body, maybe they would understand that the children could be much more like orginary children if treated differently. . . Just wondering, and I guess maybe even begging! ; )
Seeing Hailee’s transformation is literally jaw-dropping. When I saw pictures of her last year, she was so lost and so far gone; I never would have imagined or ever conceived that she could ever be so alert or experience such joy - that she could be so fully and completely rescued - let alone that she could be so different in only ONE year.
My little cousin was adopted at age four from the foster care system after a babyhood and toddlerhood of severe sexual and physical abuse by the mother’s boyfriend and a group of his friends, who eventually left her for dead in a bathtub. She was left alone all day with no stimulation and very little care. When my aunt and uncle got her, she was traumatized and lifeless after just quietly resigning herself to her life of hell on earth, alone every day, knowing that when the sun went down each night, it was time for the men to bring her out and hurt her - but in less than a year with a family, she turned into a typical, happy, thriving little girl. The changes in her weren’t as visual as Hailee’s, but they are amazing. I am continually grateful to God that she knows with every fiber of her being that she is loved unconditionally. The long, “coincidence”-filled story of how she came to be their daughter is a beautiful example of God’s perfect plan and amazing grace. When she was adopted, the social worker told my uncle that there was just nowhere for her to go if they didn’t adopt her; I can’t imagine her languishing in the foster care system, not knowing the security and attachment of a family, or receiving the therapies that have helped her find her words, connect her cognitive processes, and regulate her emotions.
However, I’ve also met many youth who were in the foster care system here in the US who never found the love of a forever family, and many of those young adults have disabilities. When I read (both here and in past entries) that you have realized that there is no hope for children in orphanages, my heart breaks some, knowing that despite the challenges these youth face, God is with them and for them, he has a plan for them, and he has given them hope - and there are many youth who are able to succeed despite the lack of security and love in adolescence and young adulthood. It’s especially difficult for foster children here because they know that families spend tens of thousands of dollars to adopt out of the country or to adopt a healthy Caucasian infant domestically - and even though the “ransom” of a US foster child is so much less, they’re often overlooked. They have just as much need and longing for a family as a child abroad, and it’s very difficult for them to understand the reasoning of families who travel to adopt. They might understand that the situation for former orphans in other countries is more difficult that it is for them, but that doesn’t make their task - getting an education or finding work and adjusting to adulthood - any easier. Here in the US, we have institutions and nursing homes where many people with all sort of disabilities live, and that these places aren’t much better (if they’re better at all) than some places in other countries that house adults with disabilities. Yet these children and teens who know that they will be in the system forever, and those young adults who yearn for someone to just care whether they live or die - they still have hope, no matter their living situation. They cling to hope because it’s all they have; hope is why they keep breathing. Even if they spend this lifetime with no one but the Father demonstrating His love, our time on this earth is only temporary and they have the hope of eternal life.
I can’t tell you how much I LOVE seeing the transformation in Hailee. So wonderful to see her beautiful smile and see the happiness on her face. So glad you answered the call to be used to redeem her precious life from the grave.
so beautiful
Adeye, thank you for continuing to blog. I know from experience that it can sometimes be very difficult, and requires a choice to obey. I want you to know that this post was a huge encouragement to me as we wait for our USCIS approval to bring our little Katerina home.
I also wanted to comment on your post about Christians and negativity, because I ABSOLUTELY agree. If we really want to “keep it real,” the best way to do that is to turn our faces to the REALITY of our God! Any troubles that we have now are light and momentary afflictions compared with the glory that will be revealed in us, and THAT is REAL. (Anyway, He told us to do everything without complaining or arguing, and to rejoice in every circumstance. Simple black-and-white command there.)
Beautiful, Adeye!!! God is SO great!!!
One of my sons was kept in a crib for the first 4.5 years of his life. The orphanage was SO proud that they had modified two cribs to hold a growing preschooler, with padded rails to keep him safe. All I ever saw was a cage. On our way home from India with him, we stopped in Amsterdam, where they have a toddler playground in the airport. He was terrified of a 2 step slide. My heart was broken that any child didn’t know how, and was scared to PLAY.
I totally get advocating for the special needs children. If ever there were a least of these, these forgotten children are the least of these. They deserve our love, our dedication and the chance to thrive. Never stop advocating for them. No one should be afraid of children like ours. They are just children, not some holy grail that a special person can only love. There’s nothing special about loving these children, just the children and the rewards we recieve by getting to love them.
Happy Birthday, Sweet Little One! It was you and your sister’s sweet faces that made our hearts yearn for children of our own with that wonderful extra chromosome! We love you and may God continue to bless you now and in the years ahead in your new life with the fabulous Salem family!
By the way, our “Gotcha Day” is tomorrow - exactly five and a half months after we met you and your family at Redeemer Lutheran in /Fredericksburg!
Happy Birthday!
John, Amy, Johnny, Carolyn, Dusty, and Sonya!
I can’t even begin to tell you the joy that fills my heart as I see the amazing transformation that God has brought about in Hailee’s life.
Happy, Happy Birthday Hailee!
I just love this little girl and I dont even know her..power of god!
Amazing! Amazing! LOVE THIS!
Happy birthday sweet girl! Oh how I love seeing God changing you daily into a happy healthy little girl!
Blessings,
Suzanne
Isn’t it amazing just who ends up being the teacher, and who is the student?