I HAVE to begin this post with some amazingly wonderful news…Monroe has a family! Is that just the best news? Oh how we are rejoicing in God’s faithfulness to bring a family for this little boy. So fabulous.
I hope you’ve all had the best weekend. Ours has been good. It is like seriously HOT here in VA. Yesterday I was driving to the grocery store and my car told me it was 112 degrees. Man alive…that’s insane! We have my friend Rachel’s two boys staying with us this week. Nine kids couped up inside in a small house because it’s just too darn hot to play outside is a little crazy. They needed out. So today we headed out into the Virginian heat and found a beautiful little beach to spend the day on. We had the best time, all eleven of us. The kids played in the water until late into the evening-these are the kinds of days I absolutely adore.
By the way, you just have to go and meet Rachel’s little Lily pie. We saw her on Skype this morning and she is an absolute doll. I cannot wait to hug her in person. Another little heart has found a home. Joy!
So while we were at the beach today Anthony and I took Hailee and Harper out of the water for a little break before they totally turned into raisins. We were lying in the shade giving them a snack. Haven was with us too. Anthony looked at the three kids and casually said, “So, these are the three who will more than likely stay with us forever.” I nodded yes. Perhaps they will be with us until God takes us home.
The “empty nest” question is one that tends to come up frequently. People ask us how we feel about knowing that we may never be empty nesters. I know that it is something that every family considering adopting a child who may be unable to live alone as an adult needs to think about before committing to bring them home.
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For us, it is not something we think about, or talk about, very often these days. The topic obviously came up when we were considering bringing Haven home. We knew there would be a strong possibility that Haven would never be able to live alone, and we needed to seriously consider how we felt about that. And so we did.
These days things are different for us. The empty nest thing is not something we ever really think about. I don’t know, maybe it’s because our lives are so busy and crazy that we never have much time to sit and ponder what our future may or may not look like. Or perhaps it’s because God has given us such peace that an empty home is something we may possibly never have.
How do we truly feel about the possibility of never being alone without kids in the house? Well, we’re so perfectly fine with it. We believe that God calls us all differently. I will never become a lawyer or an orthodontist (heck, I really should though with the amount of money they charge to put a piece of wire in someones mouth), and I will absolutely make the worst accountant ever because even my sons fifth grade math confuses the dickens out of me. I don’t even know if God will ever call me back to working full time outside of my home. Our calling is different to others. He calls us all individually-and when He does He equips us with everything we need to accomplish the mission, and gives us absolute peace on the journey. This is our mission. And with this mission comes a future where Anthony and I may never be alone. For us, it is just part of the journey to be faithful to fulfill what God has told us to do.
Raising the children God has asked us to bring home is a calling for us. It is what the Father has told us to do in this life. We know our future is in His hands. He has taken away any desire that was once there to be empty nesters. We just don’t think about it anymore. We know that Hailee, Harper and Haven may live with us forever…and that’s perfectly okay with us. When we’re enjoying our golden years in the RV across America, we’ll have three extra passengers, and that will make the journey even more fun.
Besides, we really believe in living each day the Lord has blessed us with to the fullest-whether we have seven kids at home, or three. Will it always be easy? Heavens no. There will probably be many times when Anthony and I will long for moments alone together. But I know my God-I know that when those times come, He will always provide a way to bless us with the desire of our hearts. He’s just so good like that.
We feel so blessed. Not by earthly possessions and material wealth we have accumulated-but because the Almighty Father has chosen us to be the parents of these three precious children who will more than likely need us to be with them (or near them) forever. What a joy it is going to be to share the rest of our lives with them. The thing that brings me the greatest joy in all of this is knowing that they are here with us…not in some orphanage all alone. That’s what really matters.
Who knows what our daughter’s futures are going to look like? Not us. We have no idea how their lives are going to unfold. And so we continue to take one day at a time and allow the Lord to have His will and His way in their lives…and ours.
May our nest always be full to overflowing. I’ll take it any day!
Oh my goodness, the pictures of the girls are just breathtaking-so beautiful!!
You’ve made such a loving nest, I can’t imagine any of your little birds ever wanting to leave!
You have no idea how much you encourage me through your posts!
God bless you all.
I have to laugh reading this. Only because I assumed Angela would always be with me as well. Angela has Down syndrome. Then, about a year ago, at the age of 13, we were driving down the road listening to the radio, when she leaned over and turned it off. “Mom, I have bad news.”
“What’s that?” I said. I thought for sure she was going to tell me she got in trouble in school again, as she had every day for the past 300 days.
“I’m going to move far away. You’re not coming.”
“I’m not? Where are you going?”
“To my apartment. Me and Adam. Not you. Not Dean. Just me. And Adam. And my dogs. You stay home.”
I wasn’t really sure how to respond to this. Nobody prepared me for this. I mean, wasn’t this conversation supposed to go the other way around, something like, “Honey, someday you’re going to have your own apartment, and Daddy and I won’t live there with you.”
“Well, you might need to talk to Adam’s mom about this. He’s only 10 after all. By the way, where is Adam going to sleep?”
“In his bedroom. DUH!”
(feeling very relieved this conversation wasn’t going to take a totally different direction I REALLY wasn’t prepared to go today!)
When telling my friend about this conversation, she told ME about her daughter, who is now in her 30’s. They’d built a mother-in-law apartment onto their house when their daughter was in their late teens, with the intention of moving their daughter into it after she got out of high school. When she hit about 22, they started talking to her about it. The problem was, they’d never ASKED her if she WANTED to do that, they just assumed she would. She was MORTIFIED! “What? I want to move OUT, with my FRIENDS, just like all my brothers and sisters did!” and that’s exactly what she did! She now lives in a group home with 3 other women who she’d gone to high school with.
So, as much as I want to keep Angela near me, and I’m sure I’ll want to keep Ianna near me, I’ve given up on the idea. I know they’re going to want their independence just like their siblings did.
My husband & I will never be empty nesters, either, and we are just as ‘okay’ with that as you & Anthony. Like you, it isn’t something we think about anymore. We know that it’s just how it’s going to be and it’s fine. And if, for whatever reason, we can’t take care of the kids, we have teenagers who have already said they would be happy to take their siblings to live with them. For them, their attitude is, “Of COURSE we’d have D,B and H live with us… we wouldn’t want them to go anywhere else!”
I agree with you that God equips us to do whatever it is He calls us to. And I think being an ‘empty nester’ might just be overrated & we won’t be missing out on a thing!
SOOOO happy to hear that sweet lil boy has a family! Praise God!
So glad I stumbled upon your blog.
Loved your post also.
My grandma has friends who had a daughter with DS. She passed away a few years ago; she was in her late 30s. When we went to visit them last year, they told me many stories about her. They loved having her still at home as an adult. It was a blessing, never a burden, to not have an empty nest.
I am 29 and single. When God one day begins to fill my nest, I pray it is never again empty.
I loved this post! Oh what fun the 5 of you will have in your RV
OUr nest will never be empty either and right now our nest is VERY full! Maybe someday we will hook up at a campground together with our grown companions that we have been blessed with for life and enjoy our full nests together!!
All three girls are simply beautiful, precious children of God!! Love doing this journey together!!!
Indeed what matters most is what the Lord has entrusted us with, and that is caring for the responsibilities he has put before us and what the future may hold, well we need to trust that He will take care of our needs because He is faithful.
I’m so elated for precious Monroe that the Lord found him his forever family, praising Him!!!
And those little dollies of yours are way too cute!!!
Well said, Adeye. A very thought provoking post. Praising God that Monroe has a family!
Blessings,
Barbara
Thanks for yet another interesting post! I couldn’t agree more with your perspective on the “empty nest”. And a related topic springs to mind- the question about these childrens’ futures. As in “Will he/she ever be able to bla-bla-bla (be independent, hold a job, drive a car, speak in complete sentences and so on and so on…)?
I find myself getting a little annoyed by this fixation on what (little) potential they’ve got. As Stacia Tauscher said: “We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that she is someone today.” How true!!
love the new blog picture - haley looks like she has a little smile.
Goodness! Who knows what’s going to happen tomorrow, let alone years from now? Jamie and I often joke that some day, we’ll take a romantic cruise through Greece…just the 3 of us…Laura with us!
Maybe you 5 would like to join us? And praisin’ Jesus for Monroe!!! God loves the orphan!
wonderful news about Monroe, praise YHWH!!
the little boy has a future and a family too, halleluYah!!! 
Good morning - some really great thoughts - in particular the realization that God DOES call each of us in His own way - to be whatever it is that meets His plan…and knowing that is really the secret to peace in our lives!
hugs - aus and co.
AMEN sweet friend! AMEN!
Even if all of our children move out - we will always have a grandchild around some day to be with us to love on!
Our kids joke that we will never get to live alone. As much as I joke back that I want 3 months away when our youngest goes to college I would be desperately LONELY without one of them by my side!
Love you!
Jill
I love your blog! I remember I struggled with the “empty nest” question during our first adoption of a child with Down syndrome. Once he was home, I had to laugh because he brings so much joy I can’t imagine him leaving the nest! We have since added 3 more treasures that will probably not fly from the nest, and we embrace the blessing they will bring us the rest of our lives.
This is a great post I will surely share with my husband when he comes home tonight! We have had the same conversations. While we don’t (yet) have any children that will be with us forever…we plan to. And this entry is exactly what we have talked about in the past. So we will likely be traveling across the US in OUR RV with 2 kids (plus grandkids, why not?) Have a great day!!
Tammy (RR)
Beautiful post!!!
I am so happy that Monroe finally has a family! I have been praying for him at night and I am so amazed that god answered the prayers of many so quickly! Amen!
Praise the Lord for Monroe’s family!!! Oh, this brings such joy to my heart. My husband and I have been talking about him every day, wondering if WE were being called… I think we are. Not to bring Monroe home (as God has already provided for him) but maybe another special needs child.
I absolutely LOVED this post. I’d be content without an empty nest, too! It’s so much better than knowing a child could have spent a lifetime in an orphanage.
God bless you today, Adeye.
This was a very good post. I love how you always remind us that God is enough.
BUT OH MY GOODNESS I was so happy to read about Monroe’s family!!!!!! I’ve been waiting and praying to hear that! Praise God!!
Monroe hit Joey’s heart emotionally and I can not wait until he reads this post! I kept telling him that God has a family for him. We would come back and check to see if you had anything new for us to read! What wonderful news! Please continue to keep us posted on Monroe!
Home maybe so wonderful that no one will want to leave! Blessings to you all! Love reading your post!
Empty Nesters! It’s funny you say the three girls, but you know never know it maybe your boys too!
Monroe has a family!!!!! Hooray!!!! And I think the empty nest will be highly overrated. I hope to adopt until they won’t let us anymore.
We feel the same way:) I had a friend years ago who had two sons with Ds and the middle son was “normal”. When they were all grown men, he told his parents that if they couldn’t take care of his brothers, then he would. The beauty of that has stuck with me all these years and I sometimes wonder how my “normal” girls will feel when Aubrey is all grown up and if they will fill that need for her when/if we aren’t able. The love of siblings is so powerful…it always amazes me!
Oh Adeye! I knew with you helping we could find a home for Monroe. Thank you Thank you Thank you!
I love what you said about empty nesting,especially the RV. We plan to go across the states in an RV with all our kids, it is way more fun with others.
Be blessed
Well I am covered in chill bumps and crying. Wonder if God is speaking to me? Hmmmmm. You are often His mouthpiece my friend.
Thank you.
I looked at the picture of Hailee and, at first glance, thought it was Harper! Her gorgeous little face is filling out and she is looking amazing!
I laughed at your comment about the maths…when my daughter was….ahem.. 10 yrs old I sent her to her older brother for help with her maths homework…after all he knew the teacher’s teaching methods better than I did
Amen! The way I see it each day is a blessing and who knows what tomorrow brings. Where and when did this empty nest thing come about? And retirement? I am trusting in the Lord. Now I need to just trust him to work in my husbands heart!
We’ll join you in the RV with our 2 girls! Wont we give people something to talk about as we trek across America!!!!!
We reconciled the “not so empty nest” issue long ago and we’re thankful God has given us yet another sweetie to hang out with in our golden years!
Stay cool! Still loving the heat you nut???? Only 58 more days until Fall!!!
I’ve been thinking about Monroe constantly and am so, so thankful that he now has a family coming for him!!
So happy to hear that Monroe has a forever family!! Thanks for keeping is in the know.
Thanks for the encouragement each time I read your blog. I was happy to hear that Monroe has a family!
Our family is prayer warriors for Igor (35) -under “other angels” older boys. His time in the orphanage is running out and we are trying to make people aware of this. I’ve noticed that when you mention children on your blog they are “snatched up”!
Would you consider including little Igor? (I’m asking myself if this is really rude, but I want to do all I can for him!)
You mentioned in a previous blog that your mission field is in your home, well, I can also see that you have a mission field HERE too! Thanks for sharing on your blog where even “strangers” can be encouraged and challenged to depend more on the Lord!
I love this post!
I’ve thought about the same thing and wondered if our nest will ever be ‘empty.’ I’ve concluded that it doesn’t matter-God has my future planned and I don’t have to worry about things I can’t know ahead of time. I DO wonder if my poor hubby will ever be able to retire but then I realize that he would be bored to tears staying home all day. 
Empty nests are over-rated anyway. :0)
SO praising God for giving Monore his family! That’s huge!
Amazing post, and insight… I love how your mind works. God has chosen just the right mommy and daddy for your children my friend!
Bless you so much for sharing your journey. My husband and I have felt called to adopt from the foster care system here in Los Angeles as there is also a great need here - we are in the process of finishing our home study.
I have spent the afternoon reading all the posts about your lovely daughters. And I am in tears, of sadness, and of joy. Again God bless you and your family and thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope that many others will be moved to adopt upon reading it.
What beautiful pictures of 3 of your beautiful treasures!
Lyn
http://www.4kids4us.wordpress.com
May there always be eggs in your nest, or at least a bunch of little chickies to visit you often!
Can I email you about this post? I’d like to reprint it on a new website for adoptive families or those considering adoption. Email me if you get a chance. I’d love to tell you about it and feature this post -
Kelly
[email protected]
I totally understand what you’re saying here. I feel the exact same way about my special needs children, whom may never leave the nest.
But don’t you worry something awful about what will happen to them once you’re gone? That’s something that absolutely kills me — it literally keeps me up at night. (And in addition to our special needs children, we also have several special needs animals, so that just compounds the worry further!)
I like to think that everything will be okay — that siblings or other family would help, but I’ve seen situations where that was the plan, but for various reasons, it simply didn’t work out. I’m really interested to hear your thoughts on this some day.
-Truewell