No matter where God leads us, no matter the passion on our hearts, we all have a why. A reason why we support the causes we do or pour our time and resources into the projects that are near and dear to our hearts. They’re the reasons why we move cities, take a short-term mission, or sow our time into the local home for teen mothers.

God gives us all a why.

As we get closer to our departure date for South Africa, many people have asked us why?

Why are we returning to a country that seems to have so many issues?

Why are we taking our large family back to an unstable place when we have so many more opportunities in America?

Why would we even consider living in a Third World country when we have so many children with special needs?

I understand the questions and will try to answer some of them in the weeks to come.

It’s been an interesting time in our lives as we scale down. Going through boxes and boxes of our possessions that have literally traveled the world with us over the last fourteen years has stirred up so many memories and emotions.

We arrived in the U.S in 2004 after living in Australia for three years. As I read through some of my journals recently from that time in my life, it occurred to me how similar the cry of my heart was in so many of my journal entries.

“What is your plan and purpose for us here, Lord?”

“Why have you brought us to America?”

Starting over in my thirties with three little children and very few friends felt so stretching.

I had no clue what God was doing in our lives. Nor was I meant to.

But today….I understand.

I get it.

I see what the Father has been doing for all these years.

A time of pruning. A time of yielding. A time of waiting—sometimes patiently, sometimes not.

A time of preparation.

When we left South Africa all those years ago with our two very young children (two and ten months old), we thought it was forever. A scripture we included in our wedding vows seemed to take on a whole new significance for us. “Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” ~~ Ruth 1:6

As life unfolded for us in America, God took us down roads and called us to things that we more than likely would never have considered in Africa. He brought us to a nation that understood God’s heart for the fatherless so much more than my own nation did. He brought into our lives churches, friends, relationships and partnerships that truly got the mandate to care for the fatherless.

As I have looked back over our eleven years here, I see it now. I see His sovereign hand that led and guided us. I am in awe of His grace that caught us when we fell and set our feet upon the solid rock every time we veered off in the wrong direction. We planned our course, but He directed our steps. Because He’s just good like that.

It’s been a journey of God strategically putting us in the American church to use His people and His Holy Spirit to open our eyes and break our hearts for what breaks His.

Had we never have left, would we still have this burning passion on our hearts? I don’t know. God can do anything, really. I only know that six of the most precious children on the planet would not be in my home and I just cannot even imagine my life without them in it. God knew how desperately we needed them. These six children have been some of our greatest teachers.

They opened our eyes to the preciousness of ALL children.

They taught us to stand up and fight for every life—no matter what the world says.

For the last few years we have watched the news in South Africa with aching hearts. We see things differently now to what we did fourteen years ago. We read about the same things, but this time, it’s with much softer hearts that can no longer turn a blind eye. We are changed from the inside out.

My country is facing an orphan crisis that is beyond human understanding.

“At least 5.7 million children in South Africa could lose one or both parents from HIV/AIDS by 2015 unless there are major interventions.” Medical Research Council (MRC)

That’s more than one tenth of the entire population of the country! Orphaned!

Research indicates that 800 children in South Africa are orphaned every day. A government struggling to meet the desperate needs of the people, a shaky infrastructure where electricity and water outages are common occurances, rampant corruption, a massive unemployment problem, and one of the highest crime rates in the world—the country simply does not have the services or infrastructure in place to care for its rapidly growing orphan crisis. When I visited there in 2013, I was told by an administrator for a privately run place of safety for babies that every social worker has a caseload of over 600 children! Can you even imagine?! The needs simply cannot be met.

Sadly, UNICEF states that South Africa has the largest number of HIV infected people in the world. The result is an unfathomable number of child-headed households. I saw for myself how children not even in their teens are caring for their younger siblings. It’s heartbreaking! When extended families cannot take them in, there is literally nowhere to go and children end up caring for children. State-run orphanages are overflowing and the conditions are deplorable.

Children raising little siblings often live without water, electricity, a clean sewage system, or the basic necessities of life.

In a country facing so many obstacles, the most vulnerable—those who have special needs—suffer more than my heart can bear. When dealing with cultural mindsets, witchcraft, and the common belief that children born with special needs are a curse to a family, babies very often never make it home from the hospital.

When I visited Port Elizabeth in 2013, I had the absolute privilege of being able to visit numerous places of safety for abandoned children as well as one “day care” specifically for children who have special needs. The children are dropped off at the dilapidated building at sunrise and are very often left there until very late at night.

Mold is everywhere.

I was told that these children are being raised in families where the eighty-dollar government disability grant is often the only source of income the family has. As a result, the needs of the children cannot be met. Medical equipment is non-existent, adequate nutrition is severely lacking, and therapy is never even a consideration.

Children who have moderate to severe special needs in South Africa cannot go to school.

This little love who has Down syndrome is so smart! She would blossom with some education.

I walked through the building and struggled to comprehend what I was seeing. I have been to hard places. I’ve seen my own children come from desperate situations in Eastern Europe.

But this….

A broken toilet…in the kitchen.

One pot cooking.

This absolutely broke my heart all over again.

Mattresses for the children to lie on are salvaged off trash heaps. It’s the best they can do with their limited resources.

This was beyond words.

The precious women who care for these kids do the best they can and long to be able to provide more hygienic conditions, better food, and more resources.

Anthony and I waited for the release to come.

And after many years of praying, it came.

The release to take everything that He has taught us and put in us back to a nation that has an orphan humanitarian crisis on their hands!

We will return and, God being our helper, we will trust Him to show us ways to make life a little better, a little easier for these precious children. Our prayer is to be able to go in and renovate, restore, upgrade, and clean up their current building. In addition, we would love to be able to supply medical equipment and the basic necessities that make life so much easier for children who struggle. Good nutrition, proper feeding equipment, therapy, education, and medical care are all essential for each one of these children.

We have already been given an open door. About twenty precious children are just waiting for a touch from heaven through God’s people. We can hardly wait!

We also long to educate parents who do keep their children—providing them with the Good News of Christ, as well as resources, workshops, and educational materials to equip them to better parent their children. We believe that first and foremost, if it’s feasible, children belong with their birth families, and we will go to the ends of the earth to ensure that as many as possible remain with their mom and dad.

And then the absolute prayer of our hearts is to network with public hospitals and social workers to bring us children with special needs, who would otherwise be left to die. They will be in a place of safety until, with God’s help, we can find loving families to make them part of their home.

Another thing the Lord has placed on our hearts is to inform and encourage the body of Christ in South Africa about God’s huge heart for the fatherless. He wants our arms to be His arms, reaching for the least of the least and embracing them as the treasures that they are in His eyes. Because every life has value!

Lord willing, we will have a home specifically for these angels…no matter what their needs, no matter how long we have them for.

The need is so great. But our God is so much greater.

This is our why. Our reason for taking our family back to where we came from. Will it be easy?

Well, is it ever?

Following the will of God is often not easy. We are stepping out of our comfortable boat and we know that we will have days when we look back and long for the comforts and conveniences we once had here. BUT. If there is one thing that we have learned in these years of preparation, it’s that there is no better place to find ourselves in than right in the center of His will for our lives. Oh, we have tried so often to do things our way, to follow some crazy dream or desire that was never meant to be. We have failed too many times to count. But giving Him our everything—all that we are, every material thing we ever owned, every dream on our hearts—and allowing the Father to have HIS way…

…there is no place in the world we would rather be!

Our why is because we have found a cause that we are passionate about, a reason to lay down our lives, and dream to follow God with everything we have.

We know He’ll meet us there.

Partner with us here.